What will school actually be able to do about this?

[NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease]

DC aged 8 Y4, new pupil joining the class.

The child is so allergic to cats and dogs fur that they have been hospitalised with it according to the mum and they can’t even put up with a small amount of fur on someone on the other side of the classroom, this is apparently the reason they left the last school because of the schools lack of doing anything about it – they live on our street and I gave school permission for my details to be passed on.

The mum is obviously very worried about their DC starting a new school and class and asked me if I know about pets within the class.

I have pets, as does DCs dad. DC has SN, and the animals in both homes are brilliant at helping to regulate emotions and also with their social skills as we do dog parties and obedience training.

I know the teacher has a couple of pets, and of DCs immediate group of friends (6 DC) I only know one without either a cat or dog or both. Then in the wider class I know around 50% have pets, its just the way it is.

The mum of the DC says they left the last school because the Headteacher “refused to keep their DC safe when in class” she said she expected her DC to be in a class with only DC who didn’t have pets and they couldn’t guarantee this so they changed schools.

Apparently they’ve had assurances from the HT that their DC will be safe in class.

The mum doesn’t know we have pets and has not met my DC yet as DC has been with their dad for the last week (home now).

Bar asking for clean unpethaired uniform and asking us to lint roller/change the uniform if it does come into contact with a pet, I don’t see what else the HT can expect. Unless she’s expecting 14/15 families (possibly more due to separated parents) plus the teacher to rehome their animals? Which I don’t think she would ask anyway.

I’m worrying about this though, I don’t want my DC to feel pressured to get rid of their pet due to their classmate – which they would ask of me/ExH due to their SN, they love everyone and wouldn’t want someone to suffer.

So what else can the parent expect the HT to do? And do I need to be worried that I might be expected to get rid of our dog?

There is absolutely no way you would be expected to get rid of any pets. That would be ridiculous.

I suspect the parents of the child will have to consider options carefully but it would be very unreasonable to expect an entire classmates plus the teacher to get rid of their animal friends to accommodate the child.

If the allergies are that bad the child should reasonably be home schooled as no school can guarantee the child will not come into contact with fur.

No school can provide what she seems to want.

She's delusional, sadly her only option is to homeschool.

This situation all sounds very odd, as others have said if a child has an anaphylaxis reaction to airborne dander im at a loss as to how their parent would contemplate sending them to school (or anywhere public), homeschooling would have to be the only option if the risk is this high. And the very first question
So is mum overstating the danger, as in prolonged exposure would be needed, high antihistamine dosage could make school workable but she doesnt want to take that option for some reason, was it exposure to just this one allergen thay caused hospitalisation or are there a couple of allergies that combined to cause a severe reaction? If she is this worried wouldnt she have asked the headmaster himself to confirm no child in this class has a pet - is she expecting them to rearrange the existing classes to put all non pet owning children together? None of it makes any logical sense tbh
Tell her you have dogs and when she loses her shit refer her to the Head and block if necessary. There is NO point her putting her child through upheaval of moving schools

If the child is not in your class then stay out of it. You can't make any promises and you don't know what she has said. If a complain arises then you'll be dragged into it.

I can't think of how any institution can guarantee what this child needs. There will be risk assessments and things going on that you don't know about so if the parent asks just say that they need to speak to school about it.

I can lindt roller all over my clothes just before leaving the house and I still find cat hair on me during the day

It's completely futile that any plan like that would work

I was worried that I would be expected to get rid of our dog or DC might feel pressured to get rid of the dog, despite the obvious positives to us having one.

really? You think a HT could tell you to get rid of your dog or that your DC may decide to get rid? You are way over thinking this.

Seems improbable that the HT would have guaranteed any such thing.
Contact the HT, with a screenshot of the Mother's WhatsApp, and say that you want to know from the school exactly what they have planned in order to fulfil the guarantee.

My dd has an allergy she has been massively emergency roomed for three times when younger. As in massive panic stations straightforward through the a and e room with floppy sick babies and small dc waiting.

I wouldn't ever expect an entire school to alter what they do for my dc. I wouldn't expect people too in her school at all.

I would expect them schools today at least read up about her allergy ( didn't happen and didn't listen to me) hence emergency visit!

I would expect, with an allergy as severe as described, that there would be a specialist medical professional who would come into school and advise on how to manage this.

I really don't see how this will work, unless there’s a strategy that can be used to limit or eradicate any risk.

Either that, or the mum is overthinking or exaggerating the risk. The child surely can’t live a normal life without some kind of anaphylaxis regular medication. They’ll come into contact with pet hair and fur everywhere.

My DD (20) has recently been hospitalised as a result of her allergy to pets but it was not an anaphlactic reaction so it may not be as serious as people are imagining

There is no way a school can comply with that kind of request.

Even IF they managed to get a class of non pet owning kids, it still can’t be guaranteed safe if the child is that sensitive. For example we don’t have a dog, but my parents do, and we see them regularly, so my kids could easily have dog hair on their clothes even though we are a dog free household!

The only thing they can guarantee is no pets are brought into his class, all children wash their hands when they arrive and the teachers are trained in epi pen usage. Possibly kids closest to him don’t have pets. They can ask parents to have their kids in clean uniform etc but they cannot guarantee that!!

It sounds completely unworkable. Children will have pets at home or be in homes with pets eg childminder or grandparents. Staff and teachers will have pets.
Obviously children can hand wash and seat child on table with children from pet free homes perhaps but that child could have had a play date with a friend with a pet. School can’t dictate how often uniforms washed - at that age a jumper can last more than one day.

I had a cat as a teen who shed all. the. time.
Nothing would have made me entirely hair free other than living apart from him.

There is no way that anyone could expect, or rely upon, freshly washed uniform every morning for every pupil, and in any case it would be totally unreasonable to expect pupils to not associate with their pets before school.

Many children use pets to regulate. Many parents don't have either time or funds to be constantly washing every single thing every single day. How would coats and bags be managed.

It just not at all workable or reasonable and as pp say if the allergy is that serious home schooling is the only option.

You should tell her you have pets. Otherwise she might get funny when she finds out.

wow-thats such a shame for the child. Realistically the only way to contain /prevent any harmful pet hair influence is by isolating the child.which isnt particularly ideal.preumeably the school may be able to facilitate an online classroom .?

Contact the headteacher, with a screen shot of the conversation. This is not a reasonable thing for school to ask and is unlikely to be true. (If it were even partially true, the school would have contacted the relevant parents before the child starts otherwise to prevent them potentially having a reaction the moment they walked through the door.)

However, it could be indicative of other issues that might be a safeguarding concern. Inform school and let them deal with it.

Also, don’t let your child be in this parent’s company unsupervised (play dates etc) as you don’t know what else she might say.

They may try to roller children on the way in and wash hands? Bar that they can't do much but appeal to.parents to minimise pet cuddling while in uniform.

Why would you not tell her you have a pet? it sounds to me like she's trying to figure out who has pets and who doesn't. If she expects people to give up their pets, she's delusional. But I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell her.

Don't be daft- they can't make anyone re-home pets. The Head has to make reasonable adjustments but not every condition can be catered for in a school. The Head can not control what happens outside of school at home.

The mum will have to make her decision- I suspect this will be the case the child's whole life through. They won't be able to go anywhere without the potential of meeting animal hair or animals.

You should have told her you have pets OP. What if you bump in to her on the way to school?

Im not convinced that anaphylactic reactions to pets is a genuine thing. Happy to be corrected! But if it is, then no way would you want to send your child to a maninstream school! In this case, I would wonder about munchausen by proxy personally.

Allergic to all cats and dogs? 🤔

No way. Ridiculous. She needs to home school. Do not worry about your pets no one can make you rehoming

Speaking as a head teacher, there is absolutely no way the head will ask anyone to get rid of pets and can't promise the child will not come into contact with children who have pets, that's crazy. There should be a health care plan in place which will guide the school on how to keep the child safe.

As per Allergy UK, I am of the opinion that you cannot guarantee complete absence of any allergen in a public place and it is ridiculous to ask for it. Unfortunate as it is, it is the responsibility of the person with the allergy and their family to manage the situation not everyone they ever come in contact with. My friend's daughter is anaphylactic allergic to nuts and has been trained from preschool age to always ask if any food offered may have nuts in, or to refuse any food offered by others if unsure. This strategy is much more likely to succeed than requesting a nut free school as there will always be people who forget or don't care. So saying a school is nut free gives a false sense of security.

It is impossible and unrealistic to try to create an animal hair free environment.