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Original poster

What will school actually be able to do about this?

201 replies

NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease · 16/04/2023 18:00

DC aged 8 Y4, new pupil joining the class.

The child is so allergic to cats and dogs fur that they have been hospitalised with it according to the mum and they can’t even put up with a small amount of fur on someone on the other side of the classroom, this is apparently the reason they left the last school because of the schools lack of doing anything about it – they live on our street and I gave school permission for my details to be passed on.

The mum is obviously very worried about their DC starting a new school and class and asked me if I know about pets within the class.

I have pets, as does DCs dad. DC has SN, and the animals in both homes are brilliant at helping to regulate emotions and also with their social skills as we do dog parties and obedience training.

I know the teacher has a couple of pets, and of DCs immediate group of friends (6 DC) I only know one without either a cat or dog or both. Then in the wider class I know around 50% have pets, its just the way it is.

The mum of the DC says they left the last school because the Headteacher “refused to keep their DC safe when in class” she said she expected her DC to be in a class with only DC who didn’t have pets and they couldn’t guarantee this so they changed schools.

Apparently they’ve had assurances from the HT that their DC will be safe in class.

The mum doesn’t know we have pets and has not met my DC yet as DC has been with their dad for the last week (home now).

Bar asking for clean unpethaired uniform and asking us to lint roller/change the uniform if it does come into contact with a pet, I don’t see what else the HT can expect. Unless she’s expecting 14/15 families (possibly more due to separated parents) plus the teacher to rehome their animals? Which I don’t think she would ask anyway.

I’m worrying about this though, I don’t want my DC to feel pressured to get rid of their pet due to their classmate – which they would ask of me/ExH due to their SN, they love everyone and wouldn’t want someone to suffer.

So what else can the parent expect the HT to do? And do I need to be worried that I might be expected to get rid of our dog?

OP posts:
Gondala · 16/04/2023 20:07

Awful for her DD but if it really is this serious, she's going to need to homeschool. Even if by some miracle noone in the class had a pet, there's no way that there would never be a Grandparent, Auntie, Uncle childminder ect doing school drop off/pick up who didn't.

Mariposista · 16/04/2023 20:08

Good Lord I have heard it all now.
The mother is insane. Sorry, but HER child is the liability, so SHE has to find a solution, not order everyone in the kid's class to shoot their pets. It's not the same as a food allergy that you can limit what is brought into school. What happens when that kid goes into the workplace? Sack colleagues who have animals. Barking bloody mad (excuse the pun). Enjoy your sterile bubble!

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 16/04/2023 20:08

This is all very peculiar Op.

Firstly, it was kind of you to volunteer to be contacted by new parent. Is that a regional thing? I’ve never seen that myself.

Have you been worrying about this all Easter? I suspect you didn’t tell the mother you have pets because you panicked a little thinking you’d be asked to give up your pets.

That won’t ever happen . Ever . Of course it can’t.

Sounds like this parent is being very elastic with the truth for whatever reasons.

TonTonMacoute · 16/04/2023 20:11

I feel really sorry for this parent and her DC, it's an extreme condition to have to deal with. However, they cannot possibly expect a school environment where nobody has any pets!

Shinyandnew1 · 16/04/2023 20:12

they called me just before they broke up for Easter and said a new child was joining who lived near to me and could they pass on my number

How bizarre! I have never know a school to do that. Doesn’t everyone live near to each other at a primary school?!

anqo · 16/04/2023 20:14

NotGettingRidOfPetsPlease · 16/04/2023 18:20

Sorry should of been clear, I don't think the HT has promised anything beyond the child being safe, and definitely not being in a class with DC who don't have pets. For a start, someone could decide to get a pet, or have a pet at their other home or see a pet on the way to school and pet them etc.

I was worried that I would be expected to get rid of our dog or DC might feel pressured to get rid of the dog, despite the obvious positives to us having one.

You thought a school could make you give up a pet because another child is allergic, come on OP you can't genuinely think that would be the case 😅

Blueblell · 16/04/2023 20:15

I Think if the child has an allergy this severe they would need to be totally segregated. I would hope the mum is over reacting but who is to know.

I wouldn’t like to to downplay it if it is a very serious alergy, but I would say that in that case they would require a special school.

I would personally see how things pan out. I would certainly not volunteer to get rid of my pets or perhaps go into too much detail about them as the issue is not fir you to resolve.

Showerpowerer · 16/04/2023 20:15

I’m very allergic to cats and dogs but as long as it’s cleanish clothes I don’t have a problem. Even with exposure typically it tends to be nose / eyes running and asthma.

If it’s that severe they need immunotherapy starting asap which is where they introduce a small amount of what you’re allergic too slowly to build up the tolerance. I’ve had it done and it was life changing for me. 100% can be done for kids and their consultant at the allergy clinic can arrange this.

No one will or should be asked to get rid of pets, it might b asked they don’t have lots of cuddles in their school uniform in the morning as the most they will ask.

berksandbeyond · 16/04/2023 20:17

That mother is ridiculous. Homeschool or medicate the kid!

StillWantingADog · 16/04/2023 20:18

The head will be realistic and can only ask basic precautions. I think anything other than not bringing cats and dogs into school is unenforceable.

sound very difficult for the mum and child.

MillieOns · 16/04/2023 20:21

Nobody is going to get rid of a much loved pet because somebody else’s kid is allergic.

This is nobody’s problem except the parents of the “allergic” kid.

If the headteacher sent out a letter telling everyone to get rid of their pets he wouldn’t have many pupils turn up for school come Monday 😂

Homeschooling is the solution here

savoycabbage · 16/04/2023 20:21

One of my DD's is ridiculously allergic to cats. We have never been able to go to anyone's house with a cat and my sister's family all have to get changed before they come over.

Recently it's been getting worse and we have just taken her for a very long awaited allergy appointment at the hospital. She has to take strong antihistamines (the ones that last 24 hours) every day. One a day as standard and up to four a day if necessary.

Frumple · 16/04/2023 20:23

She needs to home school her kids.

savoycabbage · 16/04/2023 20:26

Just try to steer clear of her in general as she sounds difficult.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 16/04/2023 20:26

What a load of rubbish for starters.

I am extremely allergic to cats and have been all my life. I mean really bad. And pet dander on other peoples clothes could set my sneezing off as a kid. I remember my brother having a girlfriend who had a few cats and when he came home and sat next to me I would sneeze and have a reaction.

But never bad enough to be more than slightly irritating.

This mother is batshit crazy.

There is no way the school can do anything. They can ask parents to be aware and try and keep school clothes pet hair free but, honestly, I can tell you now no one will bother that much.

I think she moved from last school because the HT basically said nothing can realistically be done.

If the child is truly that bad then they need to be isolated from everyone and everything thus homeschooling is the only way.

Minierme · 16/04/2023 20:28

I think you should be upfront and say “oh I am sorry to hear about your child’s severe allergies. Many if not most of the class have pets so I imagine your child would come into contact with pet hair to some degree if they attend [primary school name]”. It’s not you being weird or awkward. It’s just being upfront. If she then says anything daft about people getting rid of them just say “unfortunately that wouldn’t be possible”. Then ignore any further daft communications.

Saltired · 16/04/2023 20:29

Blueblell · 16/04/2023 20:15

I Think if the child has an allergy this severe they would need to be totally segregated. I would hope the mum is over reacting but who is to know.

I wouldn’t like to to downplay it if it is a very serious alergy, but I would say that in that case they would require a special school.

I would personally see how things pan out. I would certainly not volunteer to get rid of my pets or perhaps go into too much detail about them as the issue is not fir you to resolve.

Even a special school wouldn’t be able to guarantee pet free though.

Hayliebells · 16/04/2023 20:30

The child can't attend a mainstream school if their allergy is that severe.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/04/2023 20:40

The one thing you could do is to contact the head and let them know what has been said. They can’t discuss it with you. But it’s feedback for their information.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 16/04/2023 20:40

www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/fact-sheet/allergy-to-animals/

It's more likely that pet dander or cat hair would cause a severe asthma attack than anaphylactic shock, but apparently anaphylactic shock is possible (though very rare).

There's lots of information on the link about practical things the sufferer (parents) and the school can do (specific inhalers, nasal spray and antihistamines for the child, no carpets or other soft furnishings in the classroom, more regular cleaning of the classroom, open windows, anaphylaxis and/ or asthma specific first aid training for the teachers and TAs).

niugboo · 16/04/2023 20:45

BungleandGeorge · 16/04/2023 18:44

Tbh whatever measures were recommended by their medical team would have to be followed by the last headteacher. So I presume these are decided by mum (which may be understandable if severely allergic but doesn’t mean they are sensible)

That’s not correct re having to follow advice.

adamsaboutnothing · 16/04/2023 20:50

I can sympathise as this I'm very similar. I can tell if someone has a cat within minutes of being stood next to them. If I sit in a chair of someone who has a cat, I can have full blown man-flu within 10-15 minutes. When I'm in meetings, I have to simply get up and move if I sense the person next to me has a cat or else I'll turn into a sneezing itching mess. Can I do anything about it? No. Do I expect anyone else to do something about it? No. My work has no brought in hot-desking so it's like Russian roulette whether a crazy cat lady has sat at the desk before me. I just have to take antihistamines before I go in.
I'm afraid in this situation, they either need to learn with it or it's home schooling. I really don't know what the mum expects the school to do really.

JudgeRudy · 16/04/2023 20:53

Is the allergy a respiratory one? Does the child wear a hepa respirator (N95)? It's unfortunate but if for example a child had a condition where their skin would be damaged by sunlight they wear creams and cover up. I'm guessing it would be similar for this child, so mask at school, lots of handfasting then shower when home.
Every single class is going to have several children with pets. Some parents struggle to get their kids to school on time, let alone with a superclass uniform. Sadly for the child I think they're going to have to be the one isolating. I'd also suggest training for staff inc TAs and lunch staff in anaphylaxis and epi pens.

Crunchymum · 16/04/2023 20:56

We have two (pure fucking white) cats and despite everything we do, we're often covered with some furr.

I've taken to giving the kids a lint brush on their school bags. We'd be a massive danger to that poor child.

As a side note, anything we can do about the furr? Or do we all need to have a wardrobe of white clothes?

Tanith · 16/04/2023 20:56

This really is not your issue to solve.

The details of any care plan will have been arranged with reference to any medical diagnosis and advice from the child's doctors. That's for the Head teacher to work out and there's no need for you to be involved.

You certainly won't be told to get rid of your pets. I'm not quite sure why you'd think this, based on the very limited information you have.
I'm sure the HT never expected you to act as a spokesperson for the school and I'd refer this parent back to her for reassurance if it's needed.