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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

799 replies

AreweCf · 15/04/2023 19:45

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

OP posts:
Kastri · 15/04/2023 21:05

Try the Olio app,its free food leftover from supermarkets etc.Someone in your area will be on it and you can collect from them.
It's to avoid food waste,so anyone can use it,nothing to do with benefits.My neighbour collects food from Tesco then posts on Olio what she has and people can collect directly from her.There is always a huge amount of food including fruit and veg.There may be more than one person doing it in your area so definitely worth checking it out.

leaves2345 · 15/04/2023 21:05

ChaoticCrumble · 15/04/2023 19:51

Where I live there are community food rescue hubs in town that anyone is welcome to rescue food from - any of those?

This.

There are several of these where I live. There is no criteria to use them - anyone can. For some you pay a small annual fee to be a member and then £3 or £4 per shop but you get about £20 worth of food. For others there is no annual fee, just the £3 or £4 fee per visit.

blahblahblah1654 · 15/04/2023 21:06

This reply has been deleted

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Crumpleton · 15/04/2023 21:06

WheelsUp · 15/04/2023 19:53

Ours is called Community Fridge and it's open to everyone regardless of financial status.

Show quote history

We have a few community fridges opening in and around my area, no payment needed though.

Also download the Olio app and see if this is something they do in your area.

You could also download 'too good to go'.
This is where local shops in your area participate in selling bags of food which maybe left over at the end of the day for a fraction of the original price instead of putting it into landfill.

WindyWends · 15/04/2023 21:06

This is a really tough thread to answer.

I think, if you have £1000 in savings then no, there are others that need a food bank more.

But, if you have £100 and ND children with specific needs and outgoings, then 100% you absolutely still need use of a food bank.

It's so sad that anyone in the UK needs a foodbank. :(

MammaTo · 15/04/2023 21:06

MaireadMcSweeney · 15/04/2023 19:47

Yes I'm afraid so. You don't use food banks to help budget, you use them if you have no money to buy food.

Exactly this

Mangogogogo · 15/04/2023 21:07

www.thebreadandbutterthing.co.uk

AutumnCrow · 15/04/2023 21:07

On a side note it is good to hear of so many Community Larders, Cupboards and Fridges operating on an open access basis.

I help out with a Community Cupboard and it really puts things into perspective that any food (including food past its BBE), clothes, toys and bedding disappear from it very quickly.

We're trying to do a bit of a drive on skin creams, socks and foot care soon.

WindyWends · 15/04/2023 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why? You can report but not troll hunt.

Hankunamatata · 15/04/2023 21:08

If your dc is very high needs ND, then DLA shouldn't be too gard to claim. Did you word it correctly? Are they in special school? Did you state all the interventions you have in place and therapies

Bunnichick · 15/04/2023 21:14

It's hard to know what you mean about money in the bank but the fact is a lot of people aren't comfortable so if you don't absolutely need the food bank then there are probably others who need it more. There are people with no savings obviously.

SchoolTripDrama · 15/04/2023 21:15

Yerroblemom1923 · 15/04/2023 19:50

What @MaireadMcSweeney said. If you've several thousand in savings you're not eligible.

Where did op say they have thousands in savings? I've reread it twice but can’t see that. The DWP wouldn't give them benefits if they had savings

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 15/04/2023 21:15

@Hankunamatata but DLA is hard to claim, or at the very least time consuming which is no help in a tight spot.

Also ‘did you word it correctly’ is a pretty offensive question because ‘correctly’ in this instance is really specific to DLA claims and goes against all natural logic and parenting instincts. You can use words correctly for a living and still find yourself needing to appeal a DLA claim.

SchoolTripDrama · 15/04/2023 21:17

PinkiOcelot · 15/04/2023 19:59

Where did the OP say she had thousands in the bank? I read the money won’t last until their benefits payment.

Same

HistoryFanatic · 15/04/2023 21:19

SchoolTripDrama · 15/04/2023 21:15

Where did op say they have thousands in savings? I've reread it twice but can’t see that. The DWP wouldn't give them benefits if they had savings

Show quote history

Yes they do.

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 15/04/2023 21:20

OP I don’t think you were unreasonable at all to ask. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things in terms of claiming what you’re entitled to, and the DLA appeal will hopefully be granted- many are at appeal so you’re doing the right thing not just accepting the first answer. The cerebra guide others mentioned is really helpful and organisations like CAB and the papworth trust can also support with applications and appeals. I hope that some of the community pantry suggestions will be helpful to you. It sounds so hard and you absolutely don’t deserve the rough time you’ve been getting here xx

Usernamecreatedbyme · 15/04/2023 21:21

AreweCf · 15/04/2023 19:45

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

no, you are doing your best

Livelovebehappy · 15/04/2023 21:21

Can you get a job? As your DH is now home too, couldn’t he watch your dc whilst you work?

ireallycantthinkofaname · 15/04/2023 21:21

Foodbanks aren't 'to help spread (y)our money a bit further.'

OldFan · 15/04/2023 21:22

I hope your appeal works @AreweCf . Roughly how old are your DC?

Food banks can't be for ever so some places try to discourage people being dependent on them long term to supplement their budget.

SchoolTripDrama · 15/04/2023 21:22

Mammyloveswine · 15/04/2023 20:19

Op my son has asd and attends mainstream school yet was awarded DLA...

I'm not sure that's very helpful. I've dealt with DLA and everyone's experience is completely different. I just depends which decision maker you get

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 15/04/2023 21:23

I really feel for you having a person in the family with disabilities is expensive and when your waiting on benefits there is literally no help. I remember waiting to be awarded pip. However a food bank is an absolute last resort as even though food prices have gone up you can still buy some really cheap food in supermarkets if needed for the short term if you do have some money available. We've struggled in the past but iv managed without foodbanks by using my overdraft, borrowing money or inviting myself to friends for meals 🙈🤣

SchoolTripDrama · 15/04/2023 21:23

@Jojobees Only if they have an EHCP or the school have recommended 1:1 as being required

Fizzadora · 15/04/2023 21:24

Don't feel guilty. You are just as entitled to help as those who seem to make a career out of being on benefits.

Definitely try and find a nearby community food hub. My town has one at least once a week in different surrounding villages. I think it's £1 for a carrier bag full and you can pay a fiver for a bag full of meat/fish. It's run on a fair usage basis with the same volunteers at each hub to make sure people don't take advantage. It's all short dated supermarket stuff that would otherwise be thrown away and all our town's supermarkets are involved. Don't forget you can freeze any meat or fish up to and including the use by date so you can make it last longer.

You will need to try and find a longer term solution though as you are certainly not going to be able to maintain anything like your current lifestyle. Is your husband capable of looking after the children and you get a job, any job, to get you through this.

OldFan · 15/04/2023 21:24

The quality of medical evidence submitted I think makes a big difference to claims' success. (I've claimed DLA/PIP for many years.)