To think that my DH and I are growing apart due to political differences?

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

DH and I met 15 years ago. We were both fairly liberal and centre in terms of politics and subsequent discussions were amicable. Fast forward all those years and he’s turned more to the right, whereas I’ve gone more to the left.

We differ now about almost everything: Brexit, refugees, unions and strikes. I feel that he’s become a real Tory bore to be honest. Has this happened to anyone else? Obviously we do try and be respectful of each other and have good debates about politics but fundamentally I feel that we aren’t as close as we once were. He’s a lot older than me too and he has become cynical, grumpy and argumentative whereas I’ve got a lot more energy and vitality to me. Sometimes I really crave a decent left wing professor to spend my evenings with. (Partly joking about that, but you get the gist)

On MN the right is always wrong, 'a Tory bore' whereas the darling left is always right. The OP seems to want a very homogenised life on her terms only. They both started out being similar and have changed but only he's wrong, maybe he finds her views unacceptable too.

Do you think Joe Biden is left wing?
That surprises me.

I think another thing that really annoys me is that all of our families and the vast majority of friends seem to agree with him
Have you ever considered they may be correct?

Don't forget "wokie types" 🙄

Danny, I'm not sure it's just the dh's political views, it's his need to talk about them all the time

''@JazbayGrapes · Today 18:53
Do you really need to argue about those things? Seems rather pointless, unless you're personally involved somehow.''

So you don't feel 'involved'' when you see the mess that the Tories have made of this country? you don't feel ''involved'' about the corruption? the calamity that is Brexit? the high cost of living? the strikes? the NHS? energy bills?

You have no thoughts or opinions on any of that? no values that you want politicians to represent?

Bizarre.

Biden is absolutely on the cultural left. His ecominc policies are probably alighted with his donors, as US politicians always seem to be. But absolutely he's for identity politics and will liberalise any social institution that stands still long enough.

It's a fundamental difference and not one I could live with myself.

Well that's just ignorant nonsense and I'm not even an SNP supporter. I take it you weren't around around Scotland in the 80s/early 90s then?

Same here.

Same. Couldn't respect him at all.

Yeah surely this is about him shoehorning his politics into every conversation (which happens both sides of the spectrum) more than anything.
It's kind of just... rude and boring.

I have family members with whom I radically disagree, politically, including my Mum and one brother. We never, ever discuss politics when together. If a contentious issue comes up somehow, we all duck and dive - sport, cooking, film, the weather... anything to avoid a disagreement. Because we do love each other, and no one is spoiling for a fight.

I could no way no how live like that with dh, though. Fulltime in my own home. I want us to agree on our fundamemtal principles - that's important to me.

But your dh isn't even meeting the standard requirements for peace with people you see only sometimes. I think your dh looking for an argument is a huge red flag. He needs to switch off R4 and save his rants for others. He should not be creating that atmosphere in his home, with his life partner.

I can understand why you feel like that if your friends, colleagues etc think differently. But surely you must see why a lot of people find the current, very right wing, shitshow of 'send them back on boats' Tory supporters as intolerable, and why people with more moderate right wing views might be misunderstood?
My DH and I have very different views on Scottish Independence - fine, but if his views on immigration or other ethical views wildly differed from mine I just don't see how we could work. I just can't respect people that support these extreme right policies - it's the politics of hate as I see it. Fuck living with a man that thinks like that.

And I don't agree that the left are more vocal than right - a few people above
perfectly demonstrate that very often right wingers have nothing
articulate to add (not you btw) except a nonsensical and frenzied attack-line
of 'liberal leftie wokey bigots'. I think the same about many of the rabid far
left btw. The right wing control much of our media, so not sure how you can say
right wing views aren't public - they certainly are on MN in any case.

Well I agree with @Runningslow and I don't think that the dreadful deeds of Maggie Thatcher (milk snatcher) have been surpassed by the misogynistic, general shite that the SNP have done to us!

@MichelleScarn Sorry but that doesn't even make sense.

A lot of people get very conservative as they age, particularly the Boomers.

What part do you not understand or is that faux ignorance?
So yes the Tories did lots of shit and bad practice in that time- stopping certain children's benefits like free school milk hence 'Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher'

• The poll tax
• shutting down mines

And more, however looking at what the SNP are currently doing to the country especially to the females of the country at the moment I feel that's much worse. The SNP are championing 'Katie Dolatowski' Andrew Miller aka Isla Bryson etc...

honestly op I couldn’t be with someone who differed that much in their views. I feel that it makes you who you are, political opinions shape your morals. I think if I were you I’d just want to punch him all the time 😞

Hmm... I regularly walk past Westminster, and do a double take when I see right-wing protests. Overwhelmingly, the right protest at the ballot box. The left LOVE to be seen. I grew up in a working class area, now live in a more middle class, urban, educated area, and I have noticed in both settings that people will only admit to being Conservative in one-one conversations, when we know each other really well. In a group setting, lefties are perfectly happy loudly espousing their views as if we all obviously agree.

I really don't think our media is controlled by the right. There are some right-wing newspapers, as there should be. But the big one, the crucial one, that actually influences public opinion the most, the BBC, is left-wing to the core. Recently, more conservative radio stations and TV channels have come out, and my conservative friends have found it a huge relief to finally hear their views being normalised.

And MN is SUPER Left wing when it comes to ethics (or lack thereof).

The personal is the political. We are all involved in politics!

This would be a deal breaker for me. If my husband had become a right wing Tory I'd walk.

I’m leith your DH in views but I would never force them in anyone & certainly wouldn’t steer the conversation to it. Could you agree to disagree & reinforce he’s not to instigate conversation unless others do?

He’s entitled to his opinion but not to force it.

@Devoutspoken

But the problem seems to be not just that OP's Dh talks about it constantly, but that every single colleague,friend,family, everyone agrees with him, and not a single person agrees with op. that clearly is a problem.