To ask what you would you in this in-law holiday situation of caravan sharing

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

Have a family holiday to Dorset in July at a Haven-type place. We all booked it in September last year. Us (me DH 2 kids) SIL (her, BIL and their 8yo DS) have each booked a 3-bed caravan and FIL (him and StepMIL) have booked a 2 bed. SIL then invited MIL to stay in hers in their 3rd bedroom, for free. MIL is on her own, works minimum wage job and would never otherwise be able to afford a holiday herself, and has told me she is looking forward to having a bedroom to herself.

Our kids are 6&10 and we planned to use all 3 bedrooms in our caravan as we have a boy and a girl and they don’t always love sharing a room on holiday. 10yo DD is also now (fairly) wanting people to respect her privacy especially when she gets changed etc.

So to summarise: at the point of booking, our caravan is technically full, SIL’s caravan is full and FIL’s caravan has 1 spare room.

Except SIL has now invited our 11yo niece (their brother’s DD) and also her adult DD (22) and adult DD’s boyfriend on the holiday. She is the type of person who doesn’t EVER think things through. MIL posted on the family WhatsApp group asking where the new people are gonna stay.

Anyway, FIL has offered to have 11yo niece in his 2nd bedroom. So SIL asked if we can have her adult DD and boyfriend in ours. Otherwise they will have to stay in her caravan and poor MIL will be relegated to the pull out bed in the living room.

Im really annoyed at it all, because if I’m being honest I don’t want ANYONE in our caravan except the 4 of us. We technically have the space but I’ve only met 22yo’s boyfriend twice I’m not keen on having him stay in the same space as us. I also don’t want 11yo niece as she constantly picks on my kids, she’s really rough with them, always hitting them, shows them TikTok videos and does stupid annoying things.

But I feel bad for MIL that she will be relegated to the sofa. Also, no money is being offered for us hosting extra people and it wasn’t a cheap holiday either.

I want to be able to walk around in my short nightie, fart, talk about personal things with my DH that I don’t want other people to hear, and laze around like a sloth without worrying what other people think.

We already had a wobble over this bloody holiday when we booked it as SIL said to me “Your DD can stay in our caravan, (their) DS will want her there with him” and I had to say no sorry but our DD will be staying with us.

My DH has said he thinks we should say no, it’s our caravan and we booked it without the expectation of extra people. And that MIL needs to fight her own corner. But I think that’s gonna be SUPER awkward and unkind.

YANBU - Tell them to bugger off and enjoy your holiday
YABU - Share your caravan you horrible cow!

Sod all of that? SIL created the problem, SIL should solve the problem on her own. You lock your caravan door and let them get on with it.

I agree with most people here. No way would I want them in our caravan and I wouldn't want to share with anyone else either. This is your SIL's doing and the right thing would be to give MIL the room and make the 22 yos sleep on sofa. I also hate big extended holidays.

Do not share your caravan. It is your holiday to relax. SiL has created this situation. She can sort it out without commandeering everyone else's expensive space.

As others have said. Say no. Its not your mess to sort out.

Love this!

I’d be cancelling.

I think it’s highly likely you’ll get an 11 year old deposited on your caravan doorstep at 9am every morning as she’s been bored and badgering to play with your kids for hours. Then it’ll be down to you to feed, entertain and referee squabbles until you can manage to palm her off on another person who isn’t her parent. Honestly, it sounds awful!

You can’t even wee in one of those caravans without someone hearing so it’s a no way from me

No time to read all the replies but stand your ground! You can do it and might improve things and set a precedent for future family holidays.

Time for big girls pants on and lend your DH your big girl’s blouse! 🤣
We’d all love to know how it pans out! We hope you have a lovely time.

Yanbu I hate when people do things like this. I'd say no. It's your holiday too and you'd like to enjoy it.

sounds like hell on earth to start with, even without the additional people.
Why can't the two adults rent their own accommodation - or SIL organise and pay for it since she invited them?

My sister regularly pulls shit like this. She always thinks "the more the merrier"", invites extra people and doesn't think about the impact on others. Really irritates me as you end up looking petty/selfish when you push back.

Ha. This is exactly what my no nonsense family is like compared to the cloak and daggerness that is the in-laws. It’s fucking exhausting not being upfront about these situations.

Stand your ground!

I think in your shoes, if at all possible, I'd cancel and book somewhere else. Having all those relatives on your doorstep sounds a total nightmare.

If there's two roomed caravans available, and that's what you rented, surely that's what you'd have paid for? It's a holiday for your children, why should they be inconvenienced by having to share a room, let alone the additional squeeze on living space, bathrooms etc.

wanted, not rented

I also don’t understand why a 22 year old and uni boyfriend would want to go to a haven caravan park in July. It will be full of families and kids and all her extended family.

I agree with PP, they can camp in a tent nearby.

This.

And I think that you have to point out how extremely rude it would be put MIL on the sofa, so that someone else invited much later can have her room. How fucking dare they treat her like that. It’s appalling.

Whatever you do, do not give up your caravan though.

I agree with the two extra adults in FILs caravan and the 11 year old on the pull out. It sounds as though your SIL has just counted up the beds available and divided by people. It isn't a holiday when accommodation is overstretched.

Yeah maybe tell them they can have the use of your caravan, you won’t be going and they can pay you the money for it.

Agree with posters who say , you've booked a 3 bed caravan and will use all the space. Don't try and come up with solutions, cos then you are making it your problem and it really isn't. Let your DH handle it and luckily you are on the same page .

Sounds like hell on earth!

Quickly reply that your caravan is full up. And then don't get drawn in any further, it's not for you to find the solution and you can let your husband have all the 'no' conversations with his family.

• Share with the 11yr old and parent another child for the whole holiday - absolute no.
• Have a strange man in the caravan with you and your kids - no.
• Share with your MIL and your kids share a room - this would be a no from me... I love my MIL, but it changes the dynamic of the hol, and the kids will be bickering sharing a room etc.
• Cancel and go elsewhere - this sounds like my favourite option, but I understand this is the option with most fallout!

Absolutely!

Oh yeah, you'll be getting all the kids.

"if I’m being honest I don’t want ANYONE in our caravan except the 4 of us"

So, say no!! Sounds like a nightmare and SIL should be paying for the additional caravan she will now need for her guests.

This would be a deal breaker for me. I would pull out, take money back and tell SIL to recoup the funds, her problem.