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Original poster

Is my partner going to cheat

122 replies

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:23

Due to get married in a few months
Partner going on holiday with his friends for ten days next week
Today arrives a small package for him which I opened and is a packet of viagra
My partner doesn’t have an ED but can sometimes loose his erection which has never been an issue as we’re in a long term relationship
I recently learned he’s never been faithfully in previous relationships but he tells me he wouldn’t ever do that to me, we’re getting married and have a child
I’ve never suspected anything with him and he rarely goes out with friends although he doesn’t on occasions

I feel a bit sick and not sure what to think

OP posts:
FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:25

Where and doing what is the 10-day holiday?
How do you know the parcel contained viagra?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:26

*lots of types my hands are shaking

he does go out on occasions is what I mean to say

I’ve found viagra before but all was out of date so assumed it was pre our relationship

OP posts:
FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:26

that should have read Why did you open the parcel?

PicaK · 14/04/2023 13:27

You have to talk to him about it.
Show him how devastated you are at the thought.
Is it a stag? Is he buying stuff to prank the groom? (which is also shit but not as bad)
Make it v clear that infidelity would be a deal breaker.
If he blusters and tries to gas light you then you need to show him you mean business.

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:27

He’s going abroad to the Caribbean with all male friends and I know because I opened the package and it says viagra but I closed it back up and left it for him so he doesn’t know I know

OP posts:
FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:28

Is it something like a Lads' Holiday/Stag Do or a hobby-related trip away?

CurlewKate · 14/04/2023 13:28

"@FayCarew She shouldn't have IMHO-other opinions are available - but she has now. So a pretty pointless question, yes?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:29

It’s a lads holiday not his stag that’s later

OP posts:
Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:30

I think I’m going to see wether he takes them with him on holiday with him , and if he does that tells me what I need to know

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 14/04/2023 13:31

I mean... it doesn't look great. TBH the holiday itself sounds grim, never mind the Viagra. Don't get married.

BreviloquentBastard · 14/04/2023 13:32

You already don't trust him enough to be opening his packages, that sort of tells you all you need to know. A relationship with no trust isn't worth keeping.

I personally wouldn't marry someone who has cheated on every single past partner, tbh.

GalileoHumpkins · 14/04/2023 13:34

I'd rethink the whole relationship if there's no trust, do you really want to spend the rest of your life questioning everything he does?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:34

I’ve been cheated on before and can sometimes be paranoid, I opened the package because it rattled and my heart said I bet it’s viagra I have no idea why but that’s what my gut said so I opened it and that’s what it was . We otherwise have a great relationship he’s extremely romantic and generous and treats me really well great father this is why I don’t understand, he’s the one that wishes to marry not like I forced him to propose

OP posts:
Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:35

I also noticed he bought a considerable amount of new underwear , this may sounds silly but I did think going on a lads holiday to be buying new underwear perhaps over other items or am I absolutely crackers ?!?

OP posts:
TableFor5 · 14/04/2023 13:36

At a stretch, is it possible he's thinking ahead to your wedding night / honeymoon?

FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:36

@CurlewKate , no, not a pointless question. Some couples open each others' mail, others don't.

@ToffeeKrisp , It's a bit of a coincidence the viagra arriving before a lads' holiday

FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:37

Do you have a child together already?

Frogger8395 · 14/04/2023 13:38

Why would you marry a serial cheat?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:40

we have a child together

i don’t know he cheated on previous partners until last year when he said it in an argument

when I say I never had him down as someone that cheated I really mean it he’s extremely sensitive and loving so I was absolutely gob smacked

OP posts:
Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:42

Wedding is four months away and as someone said above it’s a funny coincidence that the viagra arrived one week before his big holiday

I genuinely don’t know what to think , if I call him out now he’ll just probably say it’s for when we have sex obviously he won’t say if it’s for any other purpose

I’m going to have to see if he puts it in his suitcase

OP posts:
60smusic · 14/04/2023 13:43

All you have to do is hand him the package, say this arrived today and wait till he opens it. If he doesn't open it, ask him why he's not opening it. No point guessing what's going on, waiting to see, get it sorted today and make your decision then.

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 14/04/2023 13:44

I would see if I could have a last min look in his suitcase when he’s all ready to go, or see where he puts the package and if it’s still there when he’s gone then it might be for you instead.

Jagoda · 14/04/2023 13:45

Are you sure he’s going on a lad’s holiday?

If he takes the viagra with him, he would find his worldly goods transferred to the home of his mum/brother/wherever by the time he got back.

I would be totally done. Also, if he’s a cheat abroad, he’s probably cheating at home, so maybe get an STD check?

libertybonds · 14/04/2023 13:47

It's highly suspicious at the very least.

QueefQueen80s · 14/04/2023 13:47

I wouldn't be with someone who goes on lads holidays anyway, people would be shocked how "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" these holidays are, it's normal for them. Same with a lot of women too.

I'd see if he puts it in his luggage, don't confront before then.