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Original poster

Is my partner going to cheat

122 replies

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:23

Due to get married in a few months
Partner going on holiday with his friends for ten days next week
Today arrives a small package for him which I opened and is a packet of viagra
My partner doesn’t have an ED but can sometimes loose his erection which has never been an issue as we’re in a long term relationship
I recently learned he’s never been faithfully in previous relationships but he tells me he wouldn’t ever do that to me, we’re getting married and have a child
I’ve never suspected anything with him and he rarely goes out with friends although he doesn’t on occasions

I feel a bit sick and not sure what to think

OP posts:
randomuser2020 · 14/04/2023 15:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

MyopicBunny · 14/04/2023 15:44

This has brought back horrible memories that I had about an ex of mine who I always suspected of cheating on me. One time, I found viagra pills in his jacket. There were other sneaky behaviours too. I never found out the truth.

I am sorry that you are in this position. The way I see it, if you're in a relationship then your partner should know about anything sex related that you buy or use.

Rockychocolate · 14/04/2023 15:45

Ok, I am an anxious type to having been cheated on previously.
However there are some options here..
A friend of mine found Viagra in her bf of 1 years cupboard, brand new. Turns out he had a prescription for ED that he had kept hidden from her the whole time.
Also when my bf went on a stag he told me very openly about a prank where they put the groom in dissolvable pants, gave him Viagra secretly and pushed him in the sea. Awful... But men will be men and apparently it was hilarious.

There are explanations. But I would wait till he is all packed then check his suitcase. If you find them in the suitcase I would be telling him you won't be there when he returns and that it's over. If it was for a prank or something of the like he would be sharing that information with you, not hiding it.

Good luck OP.

MyopicBunny · 14/04/2023 15:47

I'm sorry but you're a fool thinking he'd never cheat on you. This might sounds harsh but what makes you so special for him not to cheat? He's done it many times before, why would he not do it to you.

Yes, I 💯 agree with this. When people cheat, they don't do it because their partner isn't good enough. They do it because of their own shortcomings.

The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 14/04/2023 15:49

Mirabai · 14/04/2023 14:38

Wow. If you opened my parcels without asking I wouldn't marry you at all.

Kool. So if your partner ends up fucking the entire Carribbean, you’ll be none the wiser.

Well I don't have a partner, therefore I don't have that worry. But if I didn't trust someone enough that they couldn't open their own post then I wouldn't be marrying them 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 15:54

@Rockychocolate your message is helpful so thank you , I’m going to wait until he packs and when he does and if they are in the suitcase I will be having the conversation

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2023 15:55

opened the package because it rattled and my heart said I bet it’s viagra
*

Really not sure how your deducted a rattling noise equals viagra
*
Only way you will know is by asking him or giving him the package when he comes home to say this came for you and waiting for him to open it

randomuser2020 · 14/04/2023 15:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 15:58

@Blondeshavemorefun I was unpacking his travel bag when we packed our sons stuff in there once when he stayed at his grand and in one of the pockets found a packet of viagra which was expired and asked him about it. That’s when the cheating conversation happened and I found out that he’s not ever been faithful to anyone but me apparently since then I’ve been super paranoid and when this package came it was unusual as small and rattled and for whatever reason my gut said I get it’s viagra don’t know why that’s hard to understand, women’s intuition perhaps came over me I don’t know

OP posts:
diddl · 14/04/2023 16:00

I found out that he’s not ever been faithful to anyone but me

Wonder if that's what he told the others?

Dear oh dear you can surely do much better than this?

Jagoda · 14/04/2023 16:01

I mean, if he says he thinks it would be funny to spike someone else’s drink with this drug, not knowing what else they’ve taken or how it might affect them, that would still be a dumpable offence surely?

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2023 16:06

You obv don't trust him so is there any point in being together

If you ask he may lie

So guess you can only see if he packs it with him and uses it

Thebigblueballoon · 14/04/2023 16:10

OP, go with your gut. You know something is wrong here and, going on his past history and the fact he’s also bought new boxers (who fucking does that for a lads holiday?!), I’d put money on him planning to cheat.

Don’t mention anything. Don’t even check his luggage. But as soon as he’s at the airport, text him and ask him where the viagra is? If it isn’t in the house, that is ALL you need to know. If they were planning a prank, he’d have told you in advance.

youshouldnthaveasked · 14/04/2023 16:15

Don’t say anything, just see if it gets taken on holiday.

OR swap it for a very strong laxative

hockeysticks89 · 14/04/2023 16:16

You're right not to mention it to him but wait to see if he packs it or not. If you ask him he'll just deny it and gaslight you. This is a real opportunity (albeit an awful one) to remove any doubt as to his intentions rather than have to wonder forever. Keep strong. If you don't get to look in his case then when he's at the airport message him and ask where they are in the home. Blindside him, and at the least, ruin his holiday for him and whilst he's away you can plan your exit.

Thebigblueballoon · 14/04/2023 16:18

Oh yeah - and just to add to my post above: I’d check the date on the medication. In the small off chance that he tries to claim an old pack in the house is the newly arrived viagra.

hockeysticks89 · 14/04/2023 16:19

youshouldnthaveasked · 14/04/2023 16:15

Don’t say anything, just see if it gets taken on holiday.

OR swap it for a very strong laxative

Oh god yes! Swap it for something else!

shutthewindownow · 14/04/2023 16:20

Keep a very close eye on that package. If he takes the with you you need to end it. Maybe he takes them to help your sex life and he hasn't told you ? I hope it's innocent

Windingdown · 14/04/2023 16:26

Sorry to be a pain and spoil the plan of seeing if he takes them on holiday, but even if he leaves this packet behind he might have a half used packet from a previous delivery that he's taking.

Thebigblueballoon · 14/04/2023 16:29

Windingdown · 14/04/2023 16:26

Sorry to be a pain and spoil the plan of seeing if he takes them on holiday, but even if he leaves this packet behind he might have a half used packet from a previous delivery that he's taking.

Yep there’s a chance, but I’d find it quite unlikely that he’d buy a new pack if he had some left over?

I bet he takes this new pack with him. my problem would be biting my tongue until he left for his holiday, I’d be raging finding it.

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 14/04/2023 16:32

None of this is good. None.

Gobsmacked he’s fucking off for the best part of two weeks in a ‘lads’ holiday’ to the Caribbean, when he has a small child and a forthcoming wedding.

Secondly, he’s definitely planning on taking that viagra with him.

Thirdly, unless he’s planning some very vigorous wanks, that means he’s highly like to be planning on cheating.

All of this is shit. I’m really sorry. You’ve got a difficult time ahead.

I urge you, if he does pack it, to call off the wedding. Don’t do that to yourself.

Screwballs · 14/04/2023 16:48

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 14/04/2023 16:32

None of this is good. None.

Gobsmacked he’s fucking off for the best part of two weeks in a ‘lads’ holiday’ to the Caribbean, when he has a small child and a forthcoming wedding.

Secondly, he’s definitely planning on taking that viagra with him.

Thirdly, unless he’s planning some very vigorous wanks, that means he’s highly like to be planning on cheating.

All of this is shit. I’m really sorry. You’ve got a difficult time ahead.

I urge you, if he does pack it, to call off the wedding. Don’t do that to yourself.

Vigorous wanks! Amazing!

QueefQueen80s · 14/04/2023 16:53

vivainsomnia · 14/04/2023 14:48

The only blokes I know of who still regularly go on all male holidays when married/long term relationships/families all cheat without giving it a second thought
Then you know dubious men. My OH goes on a ski trip with the lads every year and has done so for over 20 years. No cheating takes place. Just blocks having a good time together. Nothing wrong at all with it.

I agree with your plan OP and would do the same. There's a big difference lying about using it with you and trying to get you to believe he has ordered them for a friend.

Big hug to you, you must be in complete turmoil. It's horrible.

Don't discount it.. these groups of men will keep their loyalty to the grave as they're all in the same position. Mens behaviour in groups would be unrecognisable to their wives and girlfriends. How can you know they definitely don't?

BreviloquentBastard · 14/04/2023 17:00

The thing is OP, this is no way to live. Say he doesn't take the Viagra with him. What will it be next? Are you just going to spend the entire marriage to this person wondering if/when he's cheating on you? Every time he goes out, or stays late at work, or goes to a party? You do realise happy, healthy relationships are NOT like this, right?

You need to leave the serial cheater because you are just setting yourself up for failure with him. And, kindly, you may want to look into therapy for your trust issues, because a deeply mistrustful person is not a healthy person to be in a relationship with either. You will sabotage every relationship you're in in future if you can't curb the lack of trust. Don't get me wrong, in this case it's justified, but you say you have a tendency to be mistrustful anyway which isn't a good foundation for a relationship.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 14/04/2023 17:02

I am with the posters who said what the hell is he doing jetting off for 10 days lads holiday. Sounds like he has cheated before and he will again. He obviously bought the viagra for himself. Check if he packs it and then you have your answer. Lots of men go on these holidays together and don't see it as cheating and none of the wives are the wiser as the wives all trust them and say my husband would never do that.