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Original poster

Is my partner going to cheat

122 replies

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:23

Due to get married in a few months
Partner going on holiday with his friends for ten days next week
Today arrives a small package for him which I opened and is a packet of viagra
My partner doesn’t have an ED but can sometimes loose his erection which has never been an issue as we’re in a long term relationship
I recently learned he’s never been faithfully in previous relationships but he tells me he wouldn’t ever do that to me, we’re getting married and have a child
I’ve never suspected anything with him and he rarely goes out with friends although he doesn’t on occasions

I feel a bit sick and not sure what to think

OP posts:
Couldreallydowithoutthis · 14/04/2023 13:47

It’s all a bit too coincidental IMHO. Sorry OP. I don’t think you should be waiting to see if he takes them with him, I think I’d be broaching this subject before he leaves

Also as others have said, if his intention is to cheat now, why on earth would you marry him.

Are you sure he is even going away with the lads? Just saying as it’s a bit odd that they are having a lads holiday then a stag do in a few months - does he regularly go on lads holidays?

Modaboutyou · 14/04/2023 13:48

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:34

I’ve been cheated on before and can sometimes be paranoid, I opened the package because it rattled and my heart said I bet it’s viagra I have no idea why but that’s what my gut said so I opened it and that’s what it was . We otherwise have a great relationship he’s extremely romantic and generous and treats me really well great father this is why I don’t understand, he’s the one that wishes to marry not like I forced him to propose

So you opened his mail as you dont trust him...Viagra or not, doesn't bode well for your relationship.

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:48

The only way to know is if he takes it with him on holiday I think , there were four strips with four tables in each so I’ll be able to tell if any have been taken. I am praying to god that I have some wires crossed here but sadly something inside is saying he’s obviously ordered viagra for his holiday what other explanation is there , we don’t use it and if we did ok sure he’d probably open it and say something like “look what I got”

OP posts:
HotSince82 · 14/04/2023 13:49

I'm sorry OP but why is he going to the carribean with his mates when he is in a LTR with a child?

Where are you jetting off to with your mates?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:50

It’s a BIG birthday, all of them are friends from university and have this big birthday this year so it’s like a birthday treat and I was and am totally fine with it. But now this has been thrown into the mix I don’t know what to think.

OP posts:
Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:52

Yes I opened his mail and absolutely appreciate that it is wrong , as I’ve said I’ve been cheated on before and I have a tendency to not trust or even let things get that far as I understand that unfortunately majority of men cheat although I never thought mine would.

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 14/04/2023 13:54

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:30

I think I’m going to see wether he takes them with him on holiday with him , and if he does that tells me what I need to know

Do this. DO NOT mention anything to him, he will say it’s to use with you & you’ll be back to square 1 on n turmoil.

Catch him out, that’s the only way.

misssunshine4040 · 14/04/2023 13:54

Could they be for his mates? Are the rest of his group in relationships?
I'm trying to think of a best case scenario.
Has he taken them in your relationship and you haven't been aware maybe?

Ames85 · 14/04/2023 13:54

Even if he takes it with him, he can still claim he ordered and packed it for a friend, so you may as well ask him about it now

FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:55

My earlier Q was a cross-post. The underwear is suspicious too.

IMO, a father going away for 10-days is pushing it, but I'd suspect that he was already cheating, sorry.
I take it it's a big-30 birthday.

TheWitchingHour · 14/04/2023 13:56

StarDolphins · 14/04/2023 13:54

Do this. DO NOT mention anything to him, he will say it’s to use with you & you’ll be back to square 1 on n turmoil.

Catch him out, that’s the only way.

Show quote history

This.

StrongCoffeeAvalanche · 14/04/2023 13:56

Surely he will see that the package has been pre opened?

FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:59

Re-open the packet. Replace the blue pills with senna tablets/jelly tots, and rewrap.

maddy68 · 14/04/2023 14:00

Why are you with someone you don't trust enough to open his post ?

Original poster
ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 14:01

It’s just a box so from the side it can be opened , I understand that he can still make up lied even if he packs it but I think right now to see whether he puts it in his suitcase or not is going to be the best indicator , if he doesn’t then all is fine but if he does then I don’t even know where to begin. NO ONE buys their mates viagra let’s face it and to be fair all of them are either married or in relationships (all in their early 40s so not horny teenagers)

OP posts:
Jellyx · 14/04/2023 14:02

Oh that's tough.
Personally I wouldn't be waiting to see if he puts them in his bag - you'll have doubts not matter what.

I would suggest

  • saying you opened the package and found them. And you're worried about cheating, given the timing of the delivery, being unaware of viagra use and because he has made a comment before about always being unfaithful.

Let him know you now feel mistrust and ask him for an explanation of the viagra and why he hasn't told you about it- is it possible he's been using them with you??

What are his friends like? Are they the type that cheat on their partners?

walspen · 14/04/2023 14:03

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:34

I’ve been cheated on before and can sometimes be paranoid, I opened the package because it rattled and my heart said I bet it’s viagra I have no idea why but that’s what my gut said so I opened it and that’s what it was . We otherwise have a great relationship he’s extremely romantic and generous and treats me really well great father this is why I don’t understand, he’s the one that wishes to marry not like I forced him to propose

Weird it rattled if it's in strips rather than loose pills.

seratoninmoonbeams · 14/04/2023 14:04

So your wedding is four months away. He's going on a 'lads' holiday to the Caribbean for ten days soon and he still has his stag to go on. Wow. Are you fitting in a family holiday and a honeymoon too this year?

notanotherdayofthisshit · 14/04/2023 14:05

FayCarew · 14/04/2023 13:59

Re-open the packet. Replace the blue pills with senna tablets/jelly tots, and rewrap.

😂

Skyla01 · 14/04/2023 14:05

How do you know your partner doesn't take Viagra more regularly? Maybe he has used it before but was too embarrassed to mention it to you?

Just an idea.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/04/2023 14:10

You have a child together but he's going on a 'lad's holiday' for 10 days?

Why on earth would you want to marry him anyway?

The only way to know is if he takes it with him on holiday I think

Or you could actually ask him about the new pants/viagra combination. He has cheated in every previous relationship so yes, I would say he is planning on cheating on you. Sex workers?

I'd also get tested for STDs while he's away. And change the locks.

Mirabai · 14/04/2023 14:12

He is he celebrating his 40th with his mates not you? That’s quite immature of itself.

I guess you will whether he takes the Viagra and his new underwear.

Screwballs · 14/04/2023 14:18

walspen · 14/04/2023 14:03

Weird it rattled if it's in strips rather than loose pills.

Show quote history

Disagree, OH had hay-fever medication turn up earlier in a plain brown box packaging box and I could hear them rattling when I picked up the package so knew what they were.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 14/04/2023 14:25

ToffeeKrisp · 14/04/2023 13:27

He’s going abroad to the Caribbean with all male friends and I know because I opened the package and it says viagra but I closed it back up and left it for him so he doesn’t know I know

Wow. If you opened my parcels without asking I wouldn't marry you at all. Lack of trust and an invasion of privacy. Why don't you just invite yourself on the holiday with them to police them?

Indoorcatmum · 14/04/2023 14:27

He will gaslight the heck out of you if you ask him about it and you'll have no way of proving otherwise.

I would use the time he is away to do a bit of investigating and see what you can find.

If he was a regular Viagra user for your sexual relationship I think you would know.

In my opinion, he potentially doesn't want the embarrassment of losing his erection whilst cheating with a one-night stand.