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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To secretly envy outdoorsy families

235 replies

Purplefoxes · 14/04/2023 10:46

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 14:03

Pluvia · 15/04/2023 13:42

But tif they've never tried stuff they won't know if they like it or not. Sounds as if DH is the kind of man who, given the chance, would spend most of his life playing computer games. The children deserve better.

What's wrong with playing computer games if that's what he enjoys? Saying his "children deserve better" is really unnecessary.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 15/04/2023 14:08

What's wrong with playing computer games if that's what he enjoys? Saying his "children deserve better" is really unnecessary.

Indeed. But like many, people can be quite biased by their thought. Being ourdoor = good. Playing video games = bad. Sad, but true.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 14:10

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 15/04/2023 14:08

What's wrong with playing computer games if that's what he enjoys? Saying his "children deserve better" is really unnecessary.

Indeed. But like many, people can be quite biased by their thought. Being ourdoor = good. Playing video games = bad. Sad, but true.

Yep, there's definitely a bit of an undertone of "outdoor hobbies are morally superior to indoor ones" in some of these responses.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/04/2023 14:13

Which is wierd... since us "outdoorsy" people need quiet pasttimes as well. So according to social media you might thing my kids spend all their time skating, canoeing, climbing, skiing, camping etc. But they also like board games, reading and... Roblux!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 14:16

PuttingDownRoots · 15/04/2023 14:13

Which is wierd... since us "outdoorsy" people need quiet pasttimes as well. So according to social media you might thing my kids spend all their time skating, canoeing, climbing, skiing, camping etc. But they also like board games, reading and... Roblux!

Exactly.

I work outdoors - I love my job and I'm out in all weathers, year-round. But at weekends, I love nothing more than flopping in front of the TV and just enjoying some time out Grin

DH is the opposite - he works indoors so loves being outside in his down time, but he's not somehow superior because he prefers kayaking to reading!

Gistbury · 15/04/2023 14:27

We're a bit of both. We enjoy time at home but also get out and about. Definitely keep it simple- a nice walk in the forest and pub lunch, a walk at the beach- build a sandcastle and home. I'm not camping with little ones or doing anything that takes too much effort but we do love getting out for a walk/bike ride etc

WonderingWanda · 15/04/2023 14:27

Felixss · 15/04/2023 12:46

Why no headphones for walks? I love listening to music while walking.

Show quote history

Sorry I should've explained better. I mean for my teenager. Just to get him to enjoy some unplugged time and to give his eardrums a break. It also encourages him to engage and talk to us and as it's a family activity we sat no headphones. I think if walking alone that's a different matter.

Cuwins · 15/04/2023 14:39

Scrobbler · 14/04/2023 11:27

My kids enjoyed https://www.treasuretrails.co.uk/ and even when teens we would use them occasionally. Made getting outdoors even in towns and cities good fun.

We actually do these as adults and love them. DD1 joined us on the most recent one but obviously doesn't yet have any input! However I used to do them with my partner/sister/mum before dd was born.

SussexLass87 · 15/04/2023 14:42

Totally agree with others that thermos (or two!) is a game changer. Filled with hot chocolate or tea, it really helps.

My Mum always said you have to warm up your insides as well as the outside - so I always have a stash of towels, fleece blankets (more than you think you'll need) and hot chocolate in the car for after a day at the beach.

Also - just accepting that sometimes it didn't work, and that we need to go home!

Are you near the beach? We live by the coast, and the far is filled with beach stuff, towels, buckets & spades etc. The irony is that the kids HATED the beach when they were little, and it took a few years of short visits before they even liked it! They still can't ride bloody bikes though and are older than your DS, so you're doing much better than us there 😄

Nothing like coming home to the warm after you've been out though...and can very much relate to wanting to curl up like a cat!

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 15:25

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 14:10

Yep, there's definitely a bit of an undertone of "outdoor hobbies are morally superior to indoor ones" in some of these responses.

Show quote history

No moral superiority about it

but a 6 year old gaming for extensive periods of time or a 6 year old out in the garden, park, wood, running, playing, getting dirty etc is much better for his health and well being.

of course chilling out in front of the Tv or doing some gaming (although… 6, maybe not) is lovely but for a 6 year old it should be substantially less part of his day than burning off energy and that does generally involve… being outside!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 15:48

@Cleoforever you don't need to be outside getting muddy to be active and burn off energy - there are loads of indoor activities you can do with children.

MissEira · 15/04/2023 16:01

My tip would be to find something you really enjoy. Im pretty outdoorsy and like lots of activities, but you wouldnt see me in water colder than 28 degrees 😂 its just not my thing. Although i did go canyoning once with a full suit and that was great fun!

In winter we like to ski, snowboard, ice skate everything in the snow really.
Spring and autumn are for hiking, biking, skates, climbing etc. and swimming we only do when its really hot.
Just keep trying new outdoor activities and find something you guys like!

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:01

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 15:48

@Cleoforever you don't need to be outside getting muddy to be active and burn off energy - there are loads of indoor activities you can do with children.

Like what? Genuine question
Say the bog standard UK home, semi detached, 3 bedrooms.
what exercise will really get a 6 year old’s juices flowing that you do indoors?

dottiedodah · 15/04/2023 16:07

DC grown up now ,but we have always had dogs .The joy of days out with them (just a walk in the forest /beaches we live near the coast) have always been fun and full of memories ) Remembering when the spaniel fell in the river and dad had to rescue him! Most DC like bikes or suchlike .No need to get cold and wet!

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 16:13

@Cleoforever who said anything about staying at home?

There are loads of indoor activities you can do that don't involve being outdoors and getting cold and muddy.

Swimming
Trampolining
Soft play
Indoor jump parks
Rock climbing/indoor climbing walls
Roller skating/ice skating

That's just off the top if my head - there are loads more. They don't need to be expensive either.

There's nothing inherently wholesome about going outside and getting muddy and windswept 🤷‍♀️

KickHimInTheCrotch · 15/04/2023 16:13

We're quite outdoorsy but it's all a balance. DS (7) would live outside if I let him. He's always building dens and going on bike rides and he has his own penknife. DD (11) would usually rather be on YouTube but she knows she can't do that all day so we all go for walks in the woods, skimming stones on the lake, camping with friends in the summer. Luckily I don't have to put up with a man-child trying to sabotage my efforts as it's just the 3 of us.

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:15

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 16:13

@Cleoforever who said anything about staying at home?

There are loads of indoor activities you can do that don't involve being outdoors and getting cold and muddy.

Swimming
Trampolining
Soft play
Indoor jump parks
Rock climbing/indoor climbing walls
Roller skating/ice skating

That's just off the top if my head - there are loads more. They don't need to be expensive either.

There's nothing inherently wholesome about going outside and getting muddy and windswept 🤷‍♀️

ah of course. I thought you meant indoors.

all of those cost money though

I am suggested just a 6 year old outside.

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:15

Added to which, none of them are a “family” activity realistically with a new born

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:16

KickHimInTheCrotch · 15/04/2023 16:13

We're quite outdoorsy but it's all a balance. DS (7) would live outside if I let him. He's always building dens and going on bike rides and he has his own penknife. DD (11) would usually rather be on YouTube but she knows she can't do that all day so we all go for walks in the woods, skimming stones on the lake, camping with friends in the summer. Luckily I don't have to put up with a man-child trying to sabotage my efforts as it's just the 3 of us.

Same here.

Just the 3 of us. No moody man or tension between parents here!

KickHimInTheCrotch · 15/04/2023 16:17

There's nothing inherently wholesome about going outside and getting muddy and windswept 🤷‍♀️

Actually I think there is a lot of benefit to kids from understanding nature, the seasons, how to manage different weather conditions, learning about native plants and animals. A trampoline park is great exercise and fun but its not a substitute for climbing a tree or making a daisy chain imo.

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:20

There's nothing inherently wholesome about going outside and getting muddy and windswep

we will have to agree to disagree on that one!

Zonder · 15/04/2023 16:22

I'm with @KickHimInTheCrotch and @Cleoforever I think it's really good to get kids in the habit of getting out for fresh air and exercise all year round.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 16:30

TBH, I think you either enjoy being outside in all weathers or you don't, and the two sides will probably never fully understand each other.

I work outdoors and have all the necessary equipment - the waterproofs, the decent footwear, the waterproofs socks and gloves - but if I wasn't being paid, there's no way and I'd be voluntarily spending my time outside in miserable weather.

I just don't enjoy it. I hate being damp, I hate being windswept and, as I wear glasses, I find it disorientating and quite stressful to be outdoors in the rain. No amount of umbrellas and peaked waterproof jackets make it any more enjoyable.

Whereas my DH is one of those people who will go outside no matter what - I just let him get on with it Grin

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 16:31

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:20

There's nothing inherently wholesome about going outside and getting muddy and windswep

we will have to agree to disagree on that one!

What exactly is wholesome about it?

I mean, if you lived in a country where you didn't get muddy and windswept outdoors, would your activities be somehow less wholesome?

TheKobayashiMaru · 15/04/2023 16:34

Sorry but I hate being outdoorsy. I love nature and the beach etc but no way would I ever go camping or be intentionally uncomfortable. If there isn't room service, I ain't going.

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