Page 2 | To be gutted horrible aunt inherits grandad's money

Flandango · 13/04/2023 23:16

To be clear, you are upset that a widow inherited her husband's money?

Delphinium20 · 13/04/2023 23:20

I'm in complete agreement with you. It's not even the money, it's the principle of it. A short marriage with no children seems like an odd reason to inherit family money when the recipient showed such disdain to the benefactor.

Eggseggseverywhere · 13/04/2023 23:23

When my wonderful dgm died my horrible aunt inherited everything she had.. When horrible aunt died her carer got the lot.
I hope they both rot in Hell

Tilllly · 13/04/2023 23:23

Delphinium20 · 13/04/2023 23:20

I'm in complete agreement with you. It's not even the money, it's the principle of it. A short marriage with no children seems like an odd reason to inherit family money when the recipient showed such disdain to the benefactor.

Exactly this ^

I'm sorry for your loss OP

Catshaveiteasy · 13/04/2023 23:28

Did your uncle die intestate? Otherwise your complaint makes no sense. Even if he did, he presumably knew a wife inherits from her husband in that circumstance. He chose this woman to marry, maybe he would have been happy with the way she is choosing to spend his inheritance.

You don't like her - fine, go no contact, then you won't need to know what she is using the money for.

As for your grandfather and uncle - despite the way wills make it seem, dead people have no say in what those who come after do with their money.

Winter2020 · 13/04/2023 23:30

Did your uncle have any children?
If he did his wife would inherit the first 270K (according to this for England and Wales) and then half of his estate after that so his children should be entitled to an inheritance if his estate was larger than that.
Intestacy - who inherits if someone dies without a will? - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

To be gutted horrible aunt inherits grandad's money

SpudsandGravy · 13/04/2023 23:39

Well you say you don't care that you didn't inherit from your uncle, but it sounds as though you do. TBH, can't you just focus on and be grateful for the fact that you were lucky enough to inherit £200k last year? Most of us will never be anything like that lucky.

ProbablyDogNappersHunX · 13/04/2023 23:40

It's a complex web of emotions, and what is legally correct and what feels right are often two very different things.

I'll confess to feeling similarly when a cousin of mine inherited equally from our shared grandparent. I was a frequent visitor, we were very close, and I literally held their hand when they died. Cousin visited once a year at most and didn't bother turning up to anything from family parties to the deathbed. Left the funeral early too.

What stung wasn't the money, it was cousin's petty attitude to the personal items of someone they couldn't be arsed to visit. I'm sure it ended up on eBay afterwards.

I completely respect my grandparents right to leave what they wanted to my cousin, and I'm not trying to say I should have received more, but I would sooner have seen the money go to charity than someone who almost never visited. Regardless of the legal and moral correctness, but I feel the way I feel!

I went no contact with the cousin after a series of events in the last months of our grandparents life and death. Best thing really.

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 14/04/2023 00:27

"When my wonderful dgm died my horrible aunt inherited everything she had.. When horrible aunt died her carer got the lot.
I hope they both rot in Hell"

UWhatNow · 14/04/2023 00:46

I know how you feel op. We are going through similar in our family. It is galling that unpleasant randoms end up with a legacy that legally they might have a right to, but morally and relationship-wise they just don’t deserve.

I don’t know how you reconcile with it - it just seems completely unfair. But then life often is. Count your own blessings I guess and ignore the bitchy jealous comments here. People have no idea unless they’ve experienced what feels like a stranger lawfully taking your family’s life savings.

Tourmalines · 14/04/2023 00:51

It’s not your grandfather’s money, it is your uncles, he married a woman and had a life with her, he died, it’s her money. You don’t like her, tough luck, that’s life. You should be so grateful that you did inherit such a large sum of money that hardly anyone will ever receive anything like that. I really don’t know why you should have such an issue with it.

BasiliskStare · 14/04/2023 01:13

Honestly I think this is one of those things where you just have to let it go.

Technically she inherited her husband's money - Grandad split his money as he saw fit & you and your Mum have done what most people would count as "very nicely" from G'dad's inheritance. Certainly a lot better than most people could expect.

I can understand how you feel but , from other experiences I would say don't let this eat you up , because you will be the one suffering , not her.

BasiliskStare · 14/04/2023 02:47

And just to say - your Uncle's £200k was never your money .

Assuming Uncle was your mother's brother - think of it like this if you and Dm both had £200k then he has left 2/3 to you and your DM & 1/3 to Uncle . Whether he was wealthy or not , beside the point - your Grandad left more to you & your DM. ( If that helps )

Newish wife is besides the point , your Uncle might have had to spend it on care homes had he not died unexpectedly or he could have gone to Vegas and put it all on red.

Unless your Uncle ( and maybe he did not have time ) made a will to leave it you and DM it is his money & that is where it has gone.

But my point stands - Do not lose sleep over this - she won't be.

It is not quite the same but the saying "before you seek revenge , dig two graves " - I do think there is something of an analogy here so my advice is please please try to forget this was ever your money. It wasn't - it was left to your uncle. If you get wound up about it - it will be you who will suffer - Uncle's wife won't. If she was an unpleasant person - then you will never have to speak to her again.

& on the upside you and DM were left £200k each This is way way beyond what DH & so many others were left in a will and many will have inherited nothing.

I do think this is something you need to count your blessings and move on

Violetcrush · 14/04/2023 03:05

My ex SIL waited until my lovely Grandad’s inheritance came through and then left DB days later and took a great chunk of it… didn’t blink. Awful money grabbing woman. I can forgive her for leaving DB, but not for Grandad’s money.

EllandRd · 14/04/2023 03:07

YABU

EllandRd · 14/04/2023 03:11

Cocochai · 13/04/2023 23:01

Legally she’s entitled to inherit it even if she is morally bankrupt. Few people seem to be happy with the way inheritance is given out but that’s life.

My DF’s wife told me twenty years ago “you do know all you’re getting is X in our Will.” She told me when my DF was out of the house and ‘X’ is pretty much nothing, which means she will end up with almost everything and a very wealthy woman (she is much, much younger than DF so he’s more likely to pass away before her). A few years later she brainwashed him to cut me out of his life. They make a great pair - yet another spineless man kowtowing to his DW and cutting out his DC for his life. You couldn’t make it up.

Has your father not got a mind if his own?

Phoebo · 14/04/2023 03:45

iusedtobeasize8 · 13/04/2023 22:38

Inheritances are just are just a massive web of emotions. She inherited fair and square. Did she deserve the money? Probably not. You have to take a deep breath and let it go. Don't stress yourself with things you can't control.

Exactly. Any money you are fortunate to get is money you didn't have. My parents have each been screwed over by a sibling out of their fair share. It's really not something to get worked up over, just not worth the negative energy. Usually those type of people end up rich, bitter and alone so karma usually sorts it out for you.

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/04/2023 04:08

taleasolasgrime · 13/04/2023 22:43

You sound a bit grabby about your grandfather's money, to be fair. It's absolutely NONE of your business.

Yep.

She inherited her husband’s estate which she’s entitled to.

You got 200k which is a really good sum of money. You never need to see this woman again. Focus on your own good fortune and forget about her.

whenwillthesuncomeupagain · 14/04/2023 05:16

I inherited £250,000 grand from my Dad and my siblings don't speak to me anymore because I'm not a high earner. I earn minimal wage and have adhd and bi polar disorder and a congenital heart disorder.

SadAsHell · 14/04/2023 05:40

YANBU to feel how you feel - you can't help those emotions.

YABU to care how she spends it. It is legally hers, I don't see how she spends it makes the situation better or worse

I agree with others saying to 1. Take peace in the fact your grandad left it to those he wanted, as did your uncle if he married that woman and 2. Delete her out of your life, no need to remain in contact

Sorry for your losses

WeWereInParis · 14/04/2023 06:06

YABU. I always disagree with the view I sometimes read on MN where inherited money is referred to as (in this case) "grandad's money", ie the money of the person who died first. At what point does it stop being viewed as "grandad's money"? It was your uncle's money, and now it's his wife's.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 06:16

Sorry OP - I get why this is galling.

To be honest, though - if he’d made a will, who would he have left it to? Almost certainly her, right?

So either way, she’d have got it.

It is what it is now, so move on, be thankful for what you do have, and grateful that you don’t have to have her in your life any more.

Backinntheroom · 14/04/2023 06:22

Peachypear10 · 13/04/2023 22:21

My uncle tragically died unexpectedly. No will, so everything goes to his wife of 6 years. I got on with him well, and while we weren't super close, we were regularly in touch. Unfortunately his wife is an unashamedly nasty piece of work. Was convinced she was with him for his money. Not sure why they were together but hey ho.

Anyway, I don't care that I didn't inherit from my uncle. What bothers me is that my uncle (as well as me and my mum) each inherited £200k last year after my granddad died. My uncle was quite wealthy so his inherited money was just sitting in a savings account.

My grandad was the nicest, kindest man, had time for everyone. We loved him to bits and miss him loads. But uncle's wife barely ever said a word to my grandad, and looked down on him because he was 'simple and common' in her words. At his funeral she made totally inappropriate, 'jokey' mocking remarks about his clothes and home (ie. mocking a 95yo man with dementia). I'm just gutted she's now inherited my grandad's money when she's so nasty, it's so unfair. She's mentioned to another relative that she's going to spend this specific money on renovating the second holiday home she owns, and she's going to buy a new horse and a horsebox. I just can't believe this is happening, it's just so unfair. Aibu to be upset and any advice to make peace with this?

If no money was involved, would you feel the need to share the fact that your uncle married someone you did not like or that your grandad had died?
No. You are only taxing yourself about this because money is involved. By your own admission, you "weren't super close", so no, MN would never have heard about your uncle ordinarily.
You've posted because you want to moan that you didn't get they money you had you eye on, and feel the person he was legitimately married to is ripping you off.
As ever, no-one is entitled to anything, but you'd never know it from the avarice shown on MN

BasiliskStare · 14/04/2023 06:28

@WeWereInParis - I agree with this

So as I understand it , Grandad gave £200k to his son and his daughter and to his granddaughter. That is Granddad's money. & he has left it as he chose - Uncle could say - hey not fair DSIS is getting £400k between her and her daughter & I am "only" getting £200k

You can look at these this all which way round but by and large an inheritance should not be considered a right & OP @Peachypear10 the moment your Grandad left that money to your uncle - it was not your money & was his ( Uncle's ) to do what he wanted with it. Whether that be stick it in a savings account - leave it to his wife - easily not make a will - whatever that money was his.

You may think his wife was too bad to burn and not like her but for your own well being , just move on and stop thinking about what she is doing with money which to be honest was never yours.

Sounds trite but arguing over £40ok rather $600k is a problem I would like to have

That is not to dismiss your feelings , but I really think you have to have to let this go for your own wellbeing . Bank the money and move on. Do not give Uncle's wife a second thought. I suspect she won't be giving you one.

& just think how kind of Grandad to look after not only your Mum & her brother but also you in this way. There might have been those who would just have split it two ways between the siblings , but he did not.

Backinntheroom · 14/04/2023 06:30

HeddaGarbled · 13/04/2023 23:05

Jeez Louise, you inherited £200k. Why are you even giving this head space? Live your lovely lucky life and give over inventing daft grievances. And maybe give a bit to a food bank or something.

Hear, hear!
I had missed the bit where op also inherited £200k.
That makes the post even more sickening. How greedy. Hoe selfish