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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish I was brave enough to take the DC on holiday without DH

124 replies

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 21:50

We have been stuck at home for a lot of the holidays and I'm feeling fed up. DH is very limited in which weeks he can take off work and it's looking like May half term is out of the question too.

I would love to take the DC away just me and them but I don't know whether I'm brave enough or quite frankly whether it would be enjoyable on my own.

I'm not talking anything too adventurous but just driving to the coast or visiting my sister who lives a 5 hour drive away. I hate motorway driving and just keep talking myself out of it.

Does anyone do this? I don't want to sit at home feeling sorry for myself anymore.

OP posts:
pinksquash13 · 13/04/2023 21:56

I'm going to away next week with just the kids (only 2 hrs away tbf). I'm apprehensive, mainly about the shit night sleeps without support but I know it will be worth it for the lovely opportunities in the day. How old are your children? What worries you the most?

2muchtimeonline · 13/04/2023 21:57

I love it. Road trip, being your own boss. I miss it now they are grown . Go for it !

Muchtoomuchtodo · 13/04/2023 21:57

I’ve said you’re not being unreasonable because this is obviously something that is outside of your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it.

Maybe start small with 1 or 2 nights in a closer location and build up to the 5 hour drive. Otherwise would getting the train to your sisters be an option? With family railcards and booking early fares can be quite reasonable with kids.

NoraLuka · 13/04/2023 22:00

How old are the DC and how many are there?

Are there any day trips you could do to build up your confidence before the 5 hour drive? 5 hours is quite a long drive but doable if you break it up etc.

RoseThornside · 13/04/2023 22:01

I started to do this when mine were about 7. Was nervous the first time but now I do a little break without DH each year. Last year I even ventured abroad for 5 nights! Was not a problem. I know quite a few women that do this.

Whatabouteverything · 13/04/2023 22:02

How old and how many?

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 22:03

DC are 8 and 10, so good ages for this type of thing. However, DS who is 8 is autistic so can be unpredictable sometimes and I worry about going far without any support.

OP posts:
Oopsiedaisyy · 13/04/2023 22:04

I'm divorced so no option but to just do it. Life is too short, make memories with your kids while you can. I drove my two down to the south of France by myself last year and back, 2 weeks away. It was brilliant.

Theturtlethatcried · 13/04/2023 22:04

Much depends on the kids - are we talking triplet toddlers or a couple of easy going primary kids. If anything approaching the latter I’d definitely take them away myself, and have. Not for massively long, but overnight or for a few days with family. I’m perfectly happy driving but if you’re not then kids seem to enjoy train travel… Or do stuff but locally - there’s a happy medium between going away for a week and just sitting in the house doing nothing.

taleasolasgrime · 13/04/2023 22:04

Yes. I work term time only and DH doesn't and I've been taking the dc alone on half term holidays since they were 4 and 6.

Sometimes we get a caravan on the coast for a long weekend or Mon-Fri off groupon or wherever. Other times it's shorter trips in Travelodges combined with visiting people.

Kids are 12 and 14 now and we're just back from a couple of days in Brighton while DH stayed home, worked and looked after the pets. We love it.

bigbluebus · 13/04/2023 22:05

Let the train take the strain! It would be part of the adventure. Family railcard keeps the ticket price down. Find a seaside town so you don't need a car whilst you're there.

bloodywhitecat · 13/04/2023 22:05

The first time is the hardest. How about starting local so you can get home easily and quickly if it goes wrong?

NisekoWhistler · 13/04/2023 22:06

You are, you just haven't done it yet.....do it. What have you go to lose?

Coffeeandchocs · 13/04/2023 22:06

OP, do you do much with the kids alone? If not it may be that you could do some full days out a couple of hours away from home to start with, just to build your confidence a bit before taking to plunge to stay overnight somewhere.

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/04/2023 22:09

Go! You’ll be so pleased if you do.

Don’t let your life shrink.

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 22:09

Yes, Dh works long hours, so for most of the time it is me taking the DC places but I always have the safety net of being able to call him if I get in any bother.

OP posts:
Stripycatz · 13/04/2023 22:10

Do it! I've done it every year since they were tiny.
We started by staying with friends and relatives and progressed to going abroad when they were old enough.
Plan really carefully, you don't want to come back knackered. Make life as easy as possible for yourself.
I found Youth hostels by public transport the best. It felt like a real adventure even though we weren't that far from home, people were friendly, the kids always made friends easily and the food was cheap and child-friendly.
Going AI in Turkey this year with them for a week, but they are pretty much adults now.

qpmz · 13/04/2023 22:10

How old are they? How many do you have?

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 22:11

DC are 8 and 10, so good ages for this type of thing. However, DS who is 8 is autistic so can be unpredictable sometimes and I worry about going far without any support.

OP posts:
MuthaHubbard · 13/04/2023 22:12

I've done this a few times due to exh either not wanting to do trips or then when a single parent. I took my two abroad on my own and it was one of the best hols we had - they were 5 & 12 at the time. Bit stressy making sure all packed (ds is diabetic) but only having me to rely on was actually easier if that makes sense

hairdresserbreakup · 13/04/2023 22:13

I've been taking my two on holiday on my own since they were babies. Looking after your kids on holiday is pretty much the same as at home, especially if you are self catering.

Is it just the driving that worries you? Could you look for somewhere accessible by train?

ChickenDhansak82 · 13/04/2023 22:14

I took my 3 kids to London. Oldest is 12 and my 7 year old is autistic. We had fun!

In the summer I take them to my parents house for a week.

My DH has limited hols so it's always me that takes them.

It's not about me. It's about them and having fun. Sometimes it's exhausting but they appreciate it.

Chattycathydoll · 13/04/2023 22:15

As a single parent… just do it! It’s great, I’ve loved holidays without ex more than any of the ones with.

My kid is ADHD not autistic- it does complicate things but you know them best and what they can handle, what helps. Being the one in charge means you can tailor things the way you want, no debate.

FiftyNotNifty · 13/04/2023 22:15

If the driving puts you off just get the train or bus! I am a crap nervous driver and having 2 small kids in the car added to my nerves. I'll drive them now on holidays but not far...and when they were little we just used to pack overnight bags for a cheap travel lodge or whatever somewhere accessible by train!

FiftyNotNifty · 13/04/2023 22:15

If the driving puts you off just get the train or bus! I am a crap nervous driver and having 2 small kids in the car added to my nerves. I'll drive them now on holidays but not far...and when they were little we just used to pack overnight bags for a cheap travel lodge or whatever somewhere accessible by train!

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