To wish I was brave enough to take the DC on holiday without DH

[Elmofudgeface]

We have been stuck at home for a lot of the holidays and I'm feeling fed up. DH is very limited in which weeks he can take off work and it's looking like May half term is out of the question too.

I would love to take the DC away just me and them but I don't know whether I'm brave enough or quite frankly whether it would be enjoyable on my own.

I'm not talking anything too adventurous but just driving to the coast or visiting my sister who lives a 5 hour drive away. I hate motorway driving and just keep talking myself out of it.

Does anyone do this? I don't want to sit at home feeling sorry for myself anymore.

What's the actual barrier? Is it the driving or the worry about your son? If it's the driving the only thing that will help will be just doing it.

I have just got back from a few days 5 hours away with family as my husband is away. We tend to go and visit family and friends when he's away in the holidays so we can spend time with just the 4 of us when he's home.

I am a single mum and I take my kids several trips a year both in the uk and overseas. It was harder when they were toddlers but now it’s fine

There are millions of single parents that have no other choice. Just do it.

Going to sister would be a good start as you’re with family there.
Book some motorway driving lessons or plan a route with a stop.
The more you do it the more natural it will become.

Go for it! I was a single parent when my daughter was 2-10 years old and didn't want to miss out on trips so we went everywhere together from camping, cruises and lots of European breaks.

Planning was the key to being less anxious and worried about traveling just the two of us. Sometimes I look back and can't believe we did all those trips together they are really great memories.

I think you should go for it. It will be a real confidence booster that you can manage without him. Keep plans simple so that it will be easy and you are prepared for success.
I did a trip abroad without DH with my 3 DDs - it was empowering.

This was what I was going to post 100% - I’m also a single parent and my youngest has ADHD.

Love holidays just me and my two kids better than anything.

I've travelled solo with mine every month or so since my youngest was weeks old and love it. My DH works long hours and is a massive introvert so when he is super busy at work i often just jump away witj fhe kids. Absolutely hate driving so rarely take car and mine are a bit younger so it's easier to be able to interact with them in a bus or train. No matter how long we go I never take more than a rucksack and both are used to carrying their own bag. We always split the journey with a trip to the lego shop and buying dinner to take on the bus. Worst drama I've experienced was the eldest getting upset that I'd left him while taking the recently potty trained toddler to the toilet on the bus and it taking longer than expected.

I'm a single parent and Dd is autistic.
Generally we travel by train if we go away and we normally do city breaks. I've never driven on a motorway simply because there aren't any near where I live, I would be a little worried at the thought of it but I'm sure the thought is worse than actually doing it.

DD gets involved in the planning as she doesn't like surprises.

We stay in a Premier Inn where ever we go so that the decor is familiar to her and if she doesn't want to eat out she's happy with food served at the PI.

On the travel day we don't do anything else as she needs that to get over the train journey. Initially I liked to get my moneys worth and pack our days full of activities but I've learnt that's too much for DD so will go back to the hotel in the afternoon or factor in a park break so we aren't indoors with bright lights etc.

Pack noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, baseball hat to deal with sensory issues + spares.

We had a great time when we did Glasgow and Edinburgh and would highly recommend it, the city's are close and was good to spend a few days in both.

London is always a winner, we avoid the hot summer months and plan our day to avoid rush hour when the tube is packed. October and February half terms always seem a good time to go without international tourists about too so there are less crowds.

My DH also works long hours and I love exploring with the kids. Mine are 10 and 12 and we’ve been to Spain together, Paris and loads of shorter overnight breaks in the U.K. They get on well and are easy company which helps but I love our little trips together! I’ll probably take them to France for a week at half term as DH won’t be able to be off work.

I’m the same I have anxiety so know I’m being unreasonable
I’ve been a widow for a couple of years now I have booked a travel lodge by the sea for 2 days in the summer I’m petrified but I know my little ones will love it

How often have you had to do this?

I've taken my twins away by myself since they were tiny, on planes trains, cars and boats. Staying at relatives, in AirBnBs, hotels and tents. It's been hugely rewarding (though there have been duff trips!) but they don't have any special needs and I can see why that would give you pause.

Is it possible to develop a plan that relied on your car as a sort of safe space so you had a way to cope away from home? With maybe a special pack in the glove compartment for each child to calm them down/keep them occupied?

Or would your sister catch the train to yours and travel with you?

Alternatively, could you holiday somewhere close by where you could still call DH (or get back easily) if it ended up being too much? A camp site or a holiday cottage or something?

I’m a single parent so no choice if I want my DC to have holidays. They were 8 & 5 the first time we went away by ourselves to Jersey. I was really nervous but we had a ball and have since travelled widely across the U.K. and Europe. They’re 14 & 17 now and this year we have 2 holidays in Europe booked and a trip to Cornwall planned. They’re great company and we have made some fantastic memories.

Maybe start with a few days visiting family and then build up to more. It’s so worth doing and I’m sure your DC would love the time with you. Good luck!

When mine were children I always took them away on my own as I worked very p/t and my husband does not . We did theme park tours of England , went on city breaks abroad and all sorts . We had a 6 yr age gap with our children and I found it easier to entertain them both by being out and about .

I've said youre NBU as I don't know you or your dc
But my DH was in the navy, and holidays were sometimes difficult. I took ours, 10, 8, 6 to eurodisney on my own a good few years ago, and it was fun! Tbf, I was used to not having D H around a lot of the time, so had gotten used to doing stuff myself with the kids (as I'm sure a lot of single mothers have) but it's definitely doable! Otoh, if it makes you stressed worried it's maybe not the best idea

This thread is a bit of an eye opener and a sad one at that.

I work ft and don't get a lot of annual leave but do take 2 weeks off in summer for a family holiday.

OH has the same time off as kids (education sector) but doesn't take them anywhere if I'm at work. They don't even leave the house let alone go on trips due to OH's anxiety and a bit of tiredness through health issues.

I think I need to get smarter with my annual leave to get a few more days off so we can do something. We have a new car and enough money for OH to do this, just a fear of doing something different.

Single mum here. Started with breaks with mates when youngest was months old, then festivals and have driven them to Northern Europe when DD2 was very little, and flown long haul to see family. Road trip to Europe had to be well planned (4 and 11 first time) but we’ve been all over together. Years later and they still love a long journey and nights away together; just the 3 of us.

Yep. I've done it as a single parent and also when ex didn't want to join us / didn't have enough or the same leave as me.

Life is way too short to not do things like that - especially going to stay with family. Is train / coach an option if you're not a confident driver?

If you have limited annual leave could you utilise bank holiday weekends and go away for those? (More expensive but a convenient long weekend).

I do it with my 2 & 4 year old. My husband works long hours and can only take certain weeks off each year (like yours) which is really limiting for getting away.

The holidays are long and I find getting away provides a release for everyone. My daughters aren't autistic so I realise this will definitely make it trickier for you depending on how well your son responds to changing environments.

Are they interested in anything in particular? Beaches, forests, climbing etc?

I took my girls to Wales in October - it was a bit wet / rainy but we had our waterproofs and explored the beaches and made the most of the parks.

Air b n b has made it much easier to get away especially if you don't mind being a little bit away from the beach or whatever the main draw is.

It's such an adventure! Could you start off really small and build up? If you stay in the UK or somewhere where you can drive it keeps it simpler than needing to fly

Good luck op x

Your child is 8. You know exactly what he can and can't handle op :) now you just have to trust the process.

You can't lock yourself up forever.

Plus that is not really fair on the older one either. Some kids have to miss out on so much stuff due to special needs siblings.

Instead of thinking what could go wrong focus on what could go right.
And if it all goes to shit well at least you have tried.

And dont go on a 5 hour trip. Meet somewhere in the middle. Or just go and enjoy your kids by themselves. You dont need someone else. You want someone else
You are equiped to deal with your kids. You know them more than anyone else. And you can handle it op.

Come to think of it. Skip it all. And just go on a day trip. Test the waters so to speak. Ask both kids what they would love to do
Compromise and go do it. Babysteps mjght be better for your nerves. Good luck and please : go and do it! You miss all the shots you never took (or something like that)

I ’m a nervous driver too , but I travel with my kids by public transport. It took a while before i was brave enough to try… the youngest was 8 on our first trip. But it really went well and they enjoyed it so much!
I kept thinking for so long that I had to travel by car, and then I didn’t have the nerves to do so… i was running around in circles! It was a relief to find out that my kids actually enjoyed trains and busses!

Good idea. I'm going to suggest this and hope that a million barriers don't suddenly get put up.

We're just back from a trip to center parcs in France - it was lovely!

Mind you, I'm a single mum, so have no choice, but honestly, compared to when I was with ex, it's super-easy. I just load up the car, we drive down (via ferry), and spend a week going swimming, walking around and playing card games (and me having a quiet couple of hours on my ipad with a glass of wine once they've gone to bed).

Oh! Yes, and when I was a kid my mum used to take us on a train to my nan's - including crossing London - the first time was a bit nerve-wracking I'm sure, but by the time I was a teenager, I used to take my siblings myself - we all knew the drill, it wasn't a problem at all!