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Original poster

To wish I was brave enough to take the DC on holiday without DH

124 replies

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 21:50

We have been stuck at home for a lot of the holidays and I'm feeling fed up. DH is very limited in which weeks he can take off work and it's looking like May half term is out of the question too.

I would love to take the DC away just me and them but I don't know whether I'm brave enough or quite frankly whether it would be enjoyable on my own.

I'm not talking anything too adventurous but just driving to the coast or visiting my sister who lives a 5 hour drive away. I hate motorway driving and just keep talking myself out of it.

Does anyone do this? I don't want to sit at home feeling sorry for myself anymore.

OP posts:
fellrunner85 · 13/04/2023 22:15

I've done this ever since mine were babies and it never occurred to me to be nervous about it - now I've been doing it so long it's just second nature, and I really enjoy it.

Tend to find seaside/country breaks with lots of walking and a more relaxed pace easier than city breaks, but I've done both several times. I also tend to prefer driving than the train, but that's because I'm in the North and you can't rely on trains to actually turn up.

Just crack on, give it a go and you might surprise yourself. This is a really normal thing and nothing to be unduly concerned about.

DanceMonster · 13/04/2023 22:15

I took mine to butlins for a week on my own when they were 3 and 2, it was fab! Took them again to the seaside for a week a couple of years later. Now they’re 9 and 8 I would love to take them on my own but have a disabled 4 year old and I wouldn’t be able to manage his care needs without support.

Bluebells1970 · 13/04/2023 22:16

I got fed up of DH not being able to get away from work (own business) so I started taking them away on my own. We found a brilliant Haven site (really quiet with its own beach) that was about 2.5 hours away, I'd book a food shop and we had a great time. Our eldest had ADHD so I had to keep to a certain level of routine but I never had to come home. And the more times you go, the more confident you get. A caravan site is ideal as you're not remote or isolated and there are always other people around until your confidence grows.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 13/04/2023 22:16

I have always taken them away solo but I was a single parent for a while so it’s never seemed more challenging than everyday life. I’ll still take one, two or three away now in any combination depending on what we are doing and where they want to go. We’ve been in the car, on the bus, on the train and abroad before.

The trickiest one was taking them camping on public transport when the smallest one was only a few weeks old but we’ve always had fun. It’s a different dynamic with just one adult and they outnumber you, so you end up doing the things they do, running about and building sandcastles etc, and going to bed when they go and that’s actually pretty nice, just to live the kid life for a bit. And there is no one to tell me Im being silly to wake them up at 3am to go on a dawn walk or buy them waffle cones for breakfast with all the sprinkles.

bumpytrumpy · 13/04/2023 22:16

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 22:09

Yes, Dh works long hours, so for most of the time it is me taking the DC places but I always have the safety net of being able to call him if I get in any bother.

What sort of bother do you get into? How bad can it be? Do you really need to call for help or can you find another way?

I think you need to address your anxiety as it's limiting your life. You're teaching your children that adults can't cope on their own without backup.

Temporaryname158 · 13/04/2023 22:17

Life is too short to stay home!

im divorced so no choice now but took them abroad and in the UK since birth.

when you say no support what actually could you not cope with? You say you look after them a lot as your husband works long hours so I’d argue it will actually be easier with new and interesting entertainment available!

MuggleMe · 13/04/2023 22:18

I guess it depends on the 8yo, but if you can make it to your sister's you'll have support? Why not try a few in a caravan a couple of hours away?

EconomyClassRockstar · 13/04/2023 22:18

I absolutely loved my Mum and kids holidays and, now they're all adults, they have great memories of them. I would spend hours planning and researching where to go next. Happy days!

Temporaryname158 · 13/04/2023 22:19

@InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits you have totally summed up the simple joys of being the only adult. Solo hols with the kids are the best I’ve ever had!

familyissues12345 · 13/04/2023 22:20

I've had the loveliest holidays with my sons when they were little, just the three of us as DH was working. Probably some of the fondest memories I have!

Jadedbuthappy82 · 13/04/2023 22:20

Elmofudgeface · 13/04/2023 22:03

DC are 8 and 10, so good ages for this type of thing. However, DS who is 8 is autistic so can be unpredictable sometimes and I worry about going far without any support.

Mine are the same age and both autistic bit I've been on my own with them for years and we do this a lot or they'd never have a holiday. Go for it lass. We go camping in Cornwall, it's great and they get so much out of it. Take the first step and maybe just do a night in a Travelodge by the coast for a night and see how you feel? I hope you get to have a lovely adventure together.

Radiatorvalves · 13/04/2023 22:20

DH was in the navy and I did a lot with the kids on my own. Road trips round UK, drove to France, flew to various places…. Had a great time! Go for it OP.

GCWorkNightmare · 13/04/2023 22:21

Flew long haul alone with 4 month old DD.

We’d been taking her 4-5 hours drive away to see family since she was 6 weeks old. Drove 13 hours to northern Scotland when she was 12 weeks old.

Since she was 5 I’ve driven her to Disneyland Paris every year.

It’s just something we do.

You just need to make the mental leap.

SallyWD · 13/04/2023 22:26

Why can't you go on public transport? I often take my children to visit my family at the coast while my husband's working. They live 6 hours away. There's no way I'd do that drive on my own so we take the train (3 trains to be precise!). It's fine. Much less stressful than driving and a bit of an adventure.

ilovewispas · 13/04/2023 22:28

Mine are 8 and 10, older one has ASD.

I say do it!

They are good ages, planning is your friend. Know where you will stop on the way (which services), know what food options are there and most importantly talk the kids through it in advance. Show them the internet, make them part of the planning. This really helps with my son who has ASD whenever we do anything new, he likes to know what to expect. Actually, it helps me and my younger son too!

Same for days out when you are away, plan, plan, plan. Unexpected things will, of course, happen but minimising these and staying calm when they do will help the kids too.

MuddleClassMom · 13/04/2023 22:30

A trial run, for just one or two nights somewhere local could be a great place to start. I've done a few solo trips now DC are older (7 and 9) and we're getting better at it as we go each time and working out what works for us as a 3 rather than a 4. We're up to 3 nights away at a time now :-)

deveronvalley · 13/04/2023 22:35

Have done a couple of weekend camping pod type trips with my son who is now 10 and recently back from 5 days in Edinburgh with him, had a great time, took the train. He was sick on the bed in Travelodge after too many m&ms at the cinema, that was the worst thing that happened :) We coped! We have similar interests and I like to plan an itinerary which helps. My husband is more impulsive and has different interests, he doesn't like to plan what we will do when we go anywhere. He is wrong of course as we would have missed a couple of cool things had we not pre-planned and booked ;) My son enjoys his trips with me, we both come back more competent than before in various ways. I always return home feeling like an actual grown-up who can deal with things :) My husband gets some peace and looks after the dog, everyone happy.

Oblomov23 · 13/04/2023 22:42

Do you have chronic anxiety? Just go. What's the worst that can happen? ASD ds doesn't like it and you have to come home. Big deal.

Simplehappyzen · 13/04/2023 22:42

Like many of the other posters above, I've taken my ASD son away solo since he was 8 years old. We always stayed in the same hotel on a gorgeous Greek island and loved spending time planning the holiday beforehand which really helped my DS, as change in routine could really affect him. I remember the first time I took him thinking I didn't have an adult with me and then remembered I was the adult 🤣 (I was 40). Honestly OP just go for it, you'll never get this precious time back and the quality time you spend away really strengthens your bond.

MyMNprofile · 13/04/2023 22:44

I’ve just come back from Central America alone with my 2dc’s. 10 and 6 but 6yo has ASD and adhd and severely restricted eating. I’d have gone mad a long time ago if I never went away even for a night unless their dad was there too.

SpringleDingle · 13/04/2023 22:47

I’m a single mum so it’s just me, DD and the dog. I tow our caravan, we fly (dog stays home for that!). The first time we went away just us post divorce it was a big daunting but it’s easy now. Take a deep breath and do it, you’ll have great fun!

willstarttomorrow · 13/04/2023 22:49

Our first big holiday after DH died was to Egypt. Found a cheap flight to one of the resorts, stayed 7 nights AI then got an internal flight to Cairo, stayed 3 nights them and overnight train to Luxor for 3 nights before finding a taxi through the desert to get a £20 flight to Geneva and then flew back to the UK from there. Cannot say I loved Eygpt but DD was in primary and wanted to see the pyramids etc so just grew from there. Honestly, travel these days is so easy. The internet is your friend and if you plan it all will be okay. 10 years on we still do these crazy trips based on cheap flights, night trains, ferries etc. It only ever goes wrong when we land back in the UK and every train home from the airport is delayed or cancelled (due to fly home tomorrow so 🤞)

SpringCherryTrees · 13/04/2023 22:53

Just go for it and put your big girl pants on!

I take my disabled DS away on my own, and it’s the best times we’ve had together and we both treasure it. Yes sure it does sometimes get a bit difficulty, but I’m proud that I do it on my own and proud that I show DS the world.

LemonPledge555 · 13/04/2023 22:55

I think if you’re somewhere semi close, what’s the worse that could happen?

I’ve taken DC away with friends before, and this summer I’m taking her on a caravan hol for a long weekend. Meeting tiger family there but DH will likely stay home.

Also meeting DH by flying ru meet him at a work location, so me and DC will be travelling alone on the way out there, back together.

I get why the thought of it can be a lot though 💐

Cantstaystuckforever · 13/04/2023 22:55

Can you do it by public transport? I do that with mine, and while it takes longer, it also means there's space to move around, toilets to use etc, there's often more to see out the window, and I also get to relax a bit and read a book for some of the time (not so much when they were little, but now they'll watch a tablet for at least a while).

You have to pack carefully and book well ahead and choose good times to avoid high fares, but it can work really well.