To wish I was brave enough to take the DC on holiday without DH

[Elmofudgeface]

We have been stuck at home for a lot of the holidays and I'm feeling fed up. DH is very limited in which weeks he can take off work and it's looking like May half term is out of the question too.

I would love to take the DC away just me and them but I don't know whether I'm brave enough or quite frankly whether it would be enjoyable on my own.

I'm not talking anything too adventurous but just driving to the coast or visiting my sister who lives a 5 hour drive away. I hate motorway driving and just keep talking myself out of it.

Does anyone do this? I don't want to sit at home feeling sorry for myself anymore.

Could you take the train instead get your sister to pick you up from the station?

Its such a shame you feel limited to his holidays where you could be elsewhere visiting family or just a break.

I don't drive but when the kids were younger I'd just go on the train or coach if we were visiting for the weekend or whatever.

I’ve done this quite a few times, it’s been fine, never any issues. Both of mine are autistic and ds is pretty stubborn when he decides he doesn’t want to do/go so sometimes i just have to come up with other ideas like going to the hotel pool if he won’t go out but it’s fine, enjoyable

I say do it! Get the kids to help plan the adventure. Obviously make sure you have a phone with you, breakdown cover and snacks.

As a single parent I took my then 8 & 6 year olds camping, they hated it and we drove home in he middle of the night (another story) but almost 20 years on they still talk about our adventure.
It also made me realise I could do anything.

Think of it this way. If DH runs off with the milkman tomorrow, will you never go on holiday again? No, you'd need to do it. So go visit your sister if she's up for it and will help. Could you travel late so the kids will sleep? Or plan a route that has LOTS of stops and sightseeing stuff?

Would you feel happier if your journey didn’t involve motorways? I’m not keen on motorway driving but plan my journeys to avoid them as much as possible. I regularly drive from Scotland to Loughborough and can do it totally avoiding the M1 or M6, I usually do use the A1M but I have avoided it if a busy day. I would start with short journeys and build up to longer. Maybe just go away for a night an hr or 2 away.

Given you find motorway driving stressful (sympathies as I do too) can you see if there's anywhere nearish you can go via train. Book a Premier Inn for 2 nights and pick out some stuff you'd all like to do. If you're lucky your sister might meet you I've you find somewhere nice that's in the middle maybe?

I am a single parent of an 3 year old and I always take my child away on road trips but I am happy to drive long distances. We visit my sister often who lives four hours away and have taken him abroad a few times. Which part is worrying you the most? The driving or keeping them entertained. I think as long as you are prepared for the journey, snacks, things to keep them entertained etc you should be fine. And also be be prepared to stop and have breaks if needed. It can make the journey a bit longer but breaks it up

You just have to do it! I'm a single parent to dds ages 1 and 12, we go all over!

Single parent here ( well technically coparent but father is useless and never takes my son away).
Currently abroad on Easter break with my son (8yo).
Going on holiday on your own with children is rewarding but requires some planning. For instance 5 hours drive will require at least one break, maybe more depending on the children and what time you are leaving. Also make sure you have a chance to enjoy the holiday as well, for example pack enough to keep the children entertained for a few hours so you can relax too. Visiting your sister sounds like a good planning if you can get some help from her. It won't be perfect but you can use the learnings for the next holiday

I wouldn’t fancy it now, with DDs aged 4 and nearly 2, but then I remind myself that my mum regularly drove two under 2 halfway up the country and back several times a year to visit her family. And this was in the 80s, before tablets.

If it helps, think of it as something that you need to overcome to give your DCs wider life experiences. Don’t let them be limited by his job.

DH hates skiing, so I fully expect to find myself solo driving the children to the Alps in five or so years time, if we can possibly afford it.

Start small, 1 or 2 nights quite close to home. Get the kids involved in the planning. My ASD DS needs to know what happening so traveling with him can be traumatic for all of us. If he’s helped with the planning, packing etc there’s less unknowns.
We frequently stayed at the same place (static caravan on the coast 2hrs drive). He gave him the reassurance of somewhere familiar & it became easy for me to drive to. He also likes travel lodges as they’re the same everywhere.
Good luck, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it earlier.

I took mine in the summer, eldest was 5. I was a bit apprehensive beforehand but actually we had the BEST time. It was so much fun. Hard work at times, yes, and we missed DH, but honestly it has given us both amazing memories and I am so glad we did it.

Is there an attraction like a zoo, aquarium, good swimming pool or something you like to do in a nearby town? Could you book a night or 2 in a travelodge or premier inn for a night and go there just to start small?

This is probably outing (because I can't think there's many other people in my particularly complex situation!!) But later this year, I'm taking my four children to the literal other side of the world on holiday.. For a month. Alone. And I'm also registered visually impaired 😄So if anyone thinks they can't do it, you bloody can. You should. You'll feel fantastic about yourself afterwards. I've already taken mine to a European country for a week as a solo adult, to practise for the big trip, and it was the best holiday I've ever had. I felt so accomplished and proud afterwards, and the kids did me proud with their behaviour.

Prior to this, I had terrible (to the point of medication) anxiety. I built myself up to it using solo train trips/weekends away to local cities etc. I do have a husband but he's not remotely interested in travelling, and I absolutely refuse to waste my remaining useful sight, and my precious time with my children while they are still young and living at home. I hesitate to use the phrase "making memories" (because it's a shit phrase) but I am; I want to create a visual record of exciting things we did, for my future darker days of sight loss. If you're lucky enough to not have anything detracting from your life, I'd say seize the opportunity with both hands. There aren't many situations nowadays where you can't get help or manage it somehow, even in an emergency, with a bit of planning. Totally worth doing!

Oh OP you really can do this!!!

If you hate driving, just get the train, or even a coach?

I don't drive but I've taken my DC on plenty of short breaks by train, and even plane a few times (taxis are also helpful!)

It is more tiring than travelling with a partner, but it's such an adventure for you and the kids. I really treasure some of those memories as mine are teens now.

When they are small it's a case of being prepared, taking plenty of snacks and activities and allowing plenty of time for the journey.

I do it. It's easier than you think. Went to Budapest with 2 of my kids the other month. We had a great time!

I don't drive but take the kids away on the train by myself every now and again. Might that be an option? If you're a car family they might think it's a novelty.

I was the same OP.

I do center parcs now myself every lambing time.

First time I was so anxious but now I love it. No driving once there, plenty to do. Works really well.

We lamb a lot of sheep over four months so a week doing something different is great for kids.

In a fit of pique I took my 3 children to the coast for 5 days. They are all primary aged (10 and under) and youngest is disabled but I thought "fuck it" and we found a cottage and jumped on a train.

If I'd had any time to really think about it, then I wouldn't have done it

It was fine, has really helped with my confidence to solo travel with all 3 them and I feel like I have a bit more freedom.

Go, go, go!!

I think you should just take the plunge and go. I also think you'll be surprised at how cooperative and supportive your kids can be when they see it's only you and that they need to help make things run smoothly. I would love to take my two away, and in fact we had a trip to Iceland pencilled in for this week but other things got in the way. We should have been there now 😪But we will definitely go at some point. I much prefer our days out when it's just the three of us. Do it!

I do it all the time, currently away now with them. Abroad is easier, your kids are old enough to help with the dragging of suitcases. Get them in the pool or beach all day whilst you chill or make sand castles (I've an 11yo who still insists I make her a sand boat). I'm on a uk break with them now and it's rained and been windy for most of the week, so entertaining them has been slightly harder. They're also less inclined to help pack the car up too in case their hair gets wet in the rain. I've been doing it since they were 6 and 9 and we love it. My partner gets very few holidays whereas I get a lot, so no way I'm staying at home!

@VWRabbit 👏👏👏😀

I took my children abroad on my own for the first time when they were 9, 7 & 2 - it was the best thing I have ever done. I was terrified of the travelling but it was fine.

If you are worried about the driving can you get a train instead?

How old are your children?

You can do it if you let go of the "what ifs" a little bit.

And your kids will love it! Travelling with kids needn't mean loading up with backpacks and hitting the remote trails of the world. Jumping on a train for a day trip to another city or the coast is a good start. Find an easy hotel (my lot love a premier inn) and make it an overnight trip next time. Then find somewhere else and do 2/3 nights.

It's so good for kids to travel and see new places and be somewhere else, and your confidence and enjoyment will increase each time too.

Good luck, have fun!