To be so upset? It's a birthday one.

[FuckParkdean]

NC but regular poster etc.

My partner and I both have April birthdays. His at the start and mine today. It is our first birthdays within this relationship (does that even make sense?!). Anyway, for his birthday a week or so back, I spent a fair amount on him, day sitting for a tattoo, took the kids out (both have DD's from previous relationships) to pick him bits, had him a special cake made, went bowling as a family on me, took him out for dinner just the two of us and then spent the next day shopping with him. Balloons, banners etc because I wanted him to feel special and have a great weekend.

Today, nothing. We are away at a caravan resort with the DD's, I have cards from family and a present from DD (bought by her dad) and that's it. He hasn't wished me a happy birthday, I didn't get a lie in, no breakfast, nothing. I got up with the girls, did their breakfast, planned the day as we normally would on holiday (centred around the girls), came back from our first activity and made everyone lunch etc you get the point - business as usual for a mum. His dad said he had sent him some money for us to go out for dinner as a family tonight for my birthday, he's spent that on god knows what so once again I'll be fronting the bill for dinner. He hasn't said happy birthday but has put a card in front of me. But that's it. Not even a fairy cake with a candle in or a cup of tea and 20 minutes in bed whilst he gets up with the girls.

AIBU to feel so upset?? Or is 28 old and birthdays are done now? My marriage broke down on my 25th birthday and left me broken but this somehow tops that, I feel so unappreciated.

Happy birthday 🎂
My fella is not much good these days but even he took me on romantic trips the first years we were together for my birthday.
It won't get better than this. You are so young!! You can do so much better.
(Is his dad single?!- joke) x

He’s done you a favour by showing you what your relationship will be like if you decide to stay with him! Now do yourself a favour and bin him! If he puts so little effort in now can you imagine how miserable your life, should you decide to stay with him, will be? You’re so young, 28 is SO young! In time you will look back and realise how young 28 actually is. Don’t waste any more time on him.

Yes, OP, this shows a real lack of judgement. This man was incredibly ungenerous to you on your birthday, but you have been dangerously stupid and ill-judged in not just introducing him to your daughter, but in going away 'as a family' with both girls. You're not a family. You barely know this man, as shown by his actions surprising you. He should certainly have been kept out of your daughter's life, and not encouraged to play happy families on holiday. You're outraged about the wrong thing. This idiot has shown you who he is, but you're the person who spent a ridiculous amount of money on a new boyfriend who made less effort on your first birthday as a couple than your ex-husband did, while you run about looking after his child and paying for things.

Give your head a shake, end this, take the Freedom course, and steer clear of men until you've learned to raise your standards. What are you teaching your daughter about acceptable behaviour from men towards women?

How can someone sit there and take al those gifts etc AND trouser the money his dad sent him and not do a fucking thing for you?

at what point would it occur to him that he hadn’t done anything for your birthday and to do something about it. He’s had at least a week to 10 days

hes so dim that it’s an insult to your intelligence to be with him. Seriously

tell him it’s over as soon as you’re back home, better yet pack up and leave the moron there.

Happy birthday 🥳! I'd end the relationship over this to be honest. If he wasn't into doing birthdays then surely he would have told you not to bother with his. He sounds like a user!

What an absolute arse this man is. Get rid.

Like others have said, you haven't even been together a year yet so toss this one back. He's not a keeper. And definitely do not introduce your children to the next man. Not until you are certain of who he is.

💐Happy Birthday!have a couple of drinks tonight.

I think maybe you were a bit ott with his birthday,which indicated to him you are soft hearted which very sadly,takers see as weak.
However,you are not weak and are strong enough to walk away from this loser. He will continue to take and give you nothing and you are worth so much more.
ditch him,it will improve your confidence and show your dd that it is not ok to be treated like this.
good luck.

Please don’t be a martyr and stay in this half assed relationship. You deserve so much better.
My BF took me for dinner and hotels and drinks and gifts etc. and what’s with the Dad giving him money! Doesn’t he earn his own money?

Big red flags every whe Re OP. Cut your losses, this one is not a keeper, he obviously doesn't care. He spent money specifically sent for your birthday? What an AH.

Run for the hills once you’re back home.

Why the fuck is his dad giving him money to treat you, how embarrassing.

Does he live with his parents as well? He sounds like a teenager.

Get rid it won’t get any better do you want every Christmas and future birthdays feeling like this? Get rid as soon as and start planning your next birthday treats you name you have it. Even if it takes a year to save. Hugs.

Give yourself a present - single life! Ditch him as he should care but clearly doesnt give a fuck.

Could he be pretending to 'forget' your birthday and then he'll surprise you with something big later? I'm optimistic as I love to surprise people 😁

Put him in the bin. He doesn't give a shit about you, you're the help.

so once again I'll be fronting the bill for dinner.

This is something a person might say after years with a shit partner, not within the first year. He's really next level shit and you surely know it. Ditch him and do some work on yourself to see why you are attracted to and put up with useless men who are using you. Twenty eight is no age to be skivvying like this. We don't need balloons and banners but basic respect and a sense of equality is a prerequisite.

"Eatentoomanyroses · Today 16:09
Sounds like he got himself a ‘mother figure’ to do the heavy lifting for his dd and doesn’t think much of you beyond that."

Yup. Beware the men with ex wives / dead wives who have children - a lot of them want staff and sex.

Do you think he’s forgotten?

By hurting their feelings first?

I think you went way ott for a first birthday &
only his 28th but for the complete lack of effort on his part & you footing the bill again when he’s spent money given to him (why? On what?) shows how things will be going forward & i’d dump him now!

Just adding to the chorus of dump him.

He spent the money his dad sent for your dinner on something else? That's as good as theft, never mind anything else! Does he have any good points?!!

This in spades.

Tbh I think the birthday is the least of your worries.

Sounds like you are doing all the unpaid labour etc and also footing the bill. Sounds like a shitty relationship to me!