Strangers buying us things!

[ChristmasJumpers]

I am going to sound so ungrateful but please stick with me...
We had a baby 4 weeks ago and people have been so generous with giving us hand me downs including bouncers, clothes, a moses basket etc. And we got lots of presents of clothes/medicine/toys/books at her baby shower and from visitors since she was born. I'm really grateful for that and we have been taking pictures of DD in her clothes/with her toys and sending thank yous. We're lucky to be surrounded by people who love us and DD.

The problem is that we also have total strangers buying and giving gifts to us!!! DHs mum works in a big office and her colleagues who we never have and never will meet have been buying and making things for DD like crazy! She now has about 40 hand knitted cardigans, 15 (yes really) chunky blankets, 2 bouncers and so many teddies. We've nowhere to put it all but it just keeps coming! I've just had a message from DMIL with a picture of a pop vinyl toy that someone at work has bought for us and a personalised cushion with her name, DOB etc. on. I'm honestly grateful but it's never ending and we're just getting repeat presents and things we can't or won't use as they don't know us or what we already have. The house is full but DMIL thinks it's lovely of them so I can't ask her to pass on the message to stop. AIBU that it's a bit odd, they'll never meet us or DD. They clearly love DMIL but why not one collection and pass on a voucher or just the one thoughtful gift?

AIBU - People are being kind and I should just accept the gifts and be grateful
AINBU - it's a bit much for total strangers to be showering us with so many gifts

I suspect what they would appreciate is to see baby. If the office is nearby maybe see if you could pop over at lunchtime and see mil for a coffee and say thank you to everyone.

We live about 2 hours away unfortunately which is why we keep receiving the gifts in bulk when we visit!

My mums work did this I just sent thank yous via her. If your getting doubles I would start
Asking your parents or parents in law to start keeping it at there house its extremely handy to have things like blankets bouncers toys at there house for visiting less things to pack think about etc. I know it can feel overwhelming but it's not worth making your mother in law feel uncomfortable with work. If it's your mother in law buying then that's a different thing and you can have a conversation I had to do that with my mum when it came to much. Went along the lines of we want him to love you for you not because everytime he sees you he gets a present xx

Did her mum say thank you at the time?

When friends of friends gave us gifts for our baby we said thank you to the person handing over the gift, but we didn't know the actual gifted to give our thanks to.
it's most likely a communication issue not a rude issue

It will soon stop! It is just newborns that people go bonkers over, nobody cares about a five year old (sad but true).

Just donate anything you don’t want. If these are colleagues of your MIL, they will never know.

I’d just send one thank you card to office with mil with a nice note about how kind everyone was and how you loved all the gifts.

She's probably given loads to other people's kids, grandkids over the years. And is so excited about the new baby she's told everyone who are all repaying her kindness.

Birthdays are more meh!
A baby particularly a first is a life event. I'd don't do leaving or birthday gifts but I'd do a wedding or a new baby if it was someone I worked closely with

That seems unusual to me. Just pass on what you don’t need for free, it’s not like the ‘giver’ will know

Probably happy, proud and excited about the new arrival. Some people weirdly live quite normal nice lives.

People do that where I'm from. I'd be very grateful that you and your family have people in their lives who care for them. I'd just box up what you don't want and give to charity.

If mil has worked in a close knit office with the ladies for years they will have chatted about weddings, babies etc. I’d just accept it as kind and well intentioned. No doubt mil has bought things for their grandchildren.

I thought it was lovely that strangers got things for DD. My cousins partners mum lives in England (we're in Ireland) and she knitted us a beautiful cardigan and shawl. Others from my Dad's church knitted cardigans, I was very grateful. We had loads but she wore almost everything.

Just pass on your thanks and give it to charity. It's really no big thing

Have you even read the post ? Ops daughter is 4 months old, not sure how much help she's going to be "collecting a bundle"
OP is the new mum of the child not the grandmother

this is to do with your MIL's popularity, not yours. We got a couple of bits from my ILs friends for our babies, clearly they don't have as many friends as your MIL ;)

I hate to be that person when you were correcting someone else but DD is 4 weeks old, not months 😉

I'd imagine she's been dating how excited she is to be getting a grandchild. I'm not questioning anyone's motives, I'm just a bit surprised at the generosity of strangers

I would love for this to have been my problem. After my DD was born we got next to nothing. Be grateful. Use/save or donate on.

Ah when I was pregnant a colleague I'd known for a couple of weeks bought me about £100 worth of baby clothes. PIL's neighbours all bought us gifts too. People just get excited by new babies, and MIL has probably been beaming since you found out you were having a healthy pregnancy.

I know it's overwhelming but it'll tail off soon - until her birthday/Christmas/easter

Oh hell, @ChristmasJumpers , it’s me and my mates!!!

In my group of friends (ranging from 45 to 87!) there are several who are becoming first time grandmothers. They have been giddy as kippers about it the whole time and we see regular updates of how it’s all going. For each we’ve made blankets or mittens or jumpers, I’ve bought a board book we give every baby in our family.

I wouldn’t give a stuff if the gifts were passed on as duplicates/unwanted. I’m just sharing my friend’s’ excitement.

And yes, somewhere around menopause, once you hear the Baby Klaxon, out comes the yarn/fabric!

Use, save, or donate is what I did.

A couple of months after we had our first I was coming down with stuff and the guy who does our garden every couple of months was over trimming hedges.

His daughter was pregnant and quite youngish but was determined to keep her baby, his first grandchild.

I asked him to check with her if she wanted a bunch of stuff that I knew I didn't need.

She was delighted as she was saving hard for bits.

I was thrilled to be rid of it all so easily in one go🙏.

People must think an awful lot of your DMIL :-)
Just discreetly move the excess to charity shops who can sell them for funds. Common practice because babies grow out of stuff so fast.

Yeah it's odd but it's also quite sweet. Going out on a limb but is DMIL super excited about baby? Maybe been talking about it a lot? And/or a lovely lady in a lovely office environment will probably mean a lot of presents. I'm a knitter. Everyone's baby gets something. Even a little pair of booties. Grand babies, friends of friends babies... just think it's nice to spread joy. Just take pics with baby with their thing send them back to DMIL and then give to charity, pass on to other new babies...

Accept graciously then donate.