To think this is a serious error and the resolution doesn’t really cut it

[Myinterestingnewpath]

Visited a well known chain restaurant, early in the week so it wasn’t busy, only about six tables tables taken. I was with my daughter, asked if I could have a table instead of a booth, as I have an assistance dog. My dog is a small/medium size, and was wearing his harness. I got asked if he was a guide dog, I said no an assistance dog. He then asked what that meant. I explained that the dog helps me with tasks that help me live my daily life. He then asked what exactly that meant. So I explained I have neurological damage after breaking my neck, and I can’t feel my fingers so drop things and the dog retrieves them. I also explained I have balance issues, so bending down without falling over is a problem. I then got asked if it was a guide dog again. I said no. He then said you can’t come in because it’s not a guide dog and you’re not blind!! I am not a confrontational person so I just said ok, we’ll just go the restaurant next door, (which is owned by the same group) as they always welcome me. The next day I rang head office and they admitted that what he did is unlawful, and they would do some staff training. Turning away a disabled person because of their equipment is a serious issue. Dogs are classed as auxiliary aids same as wheelchairs. I have been offered £20, I think they’ve got off lightly. What do mumsnetters think?

YABU-restaurants can choose who dines
YANBU-it’s discrimination

Why? The harness / jacket is all you need to know. You don't need to know anything else.

The opinions on here are very interesting. The overriding opinion seems to be that if you are disabled it should be blatantly obvious. It’s been questioned how I pick poo up, I gave an answer to that and then was told they feel sorry for my dog, because I ask it to go toilet before going out. It is this very training that stops a trained assistance dog from fouling in an establishment. It’s been questioned how I even can have a puppy and train it, I have three adult children who consecutively booked time off work, to help with the very early stages. They have seen how I have worked hard to learn to walk again and make it look normal. The neurological symptoms I experience are still there. I have just kept trying to improve and now at least people don’t think I’m drunk, when I walk. My dog picks things up a lot for me because I drop things a lot, on account of having incorrect feeling in my fingers. I probably drop more things in the six hours I can be on my feet, that most people drop in a month. The feeling in my fingers cause nausea and sometimes triggers dizziness. The opinion seems if you’re disabled you shouldn’t do anything that appears normal or your disability isn’t real. I’ve been accused of lying on here, my dog is registered and has passed exams and is owner trained with the guidance of an assistance dog charity. My dog helps me do the everyday things that most people take for granted, that I also took for granted. My life changed from an accident in my home, there’s been a lot of loss, most of all my three horses, as I couldn’t care for them. My dog gives me purpose to keep trying and helps with the difficult bits. I think society as a whole needs more empathy.

Sorry OP, I've seen other spiteful posts towards disabled people on MN but I don't think these posters would dare to vocalise such thoughts in real life or in public. Quite hypocritical

People do vocalise these thoughts though. In real life too.

Oh yes for sure, but I don't know if the sort of posters on MN would dare to say such stuff to someone's face, eg in front of other school mums. Ignorance or inadvertent rudeness is one thing, but I've seen blatantly spiteful posts before

I think it's appalling, OP, that you've had to disclose so much personal detail on here in the face of so much ill-informed opinion and straight-up spite.
Let's just hope none of those having a pop at you or your dog ever find themselves on the other side of things and having to negotiate through a disability on top of the associated bureaucracy and the (manifestly still rife) ignorance and bile that is displayed by so many on here.

I can buy a harness on Amazon for a tenner, can’t buy a blue badge there. That’s the whole point, anyone can pretend their dog is an assistance dog and they do.

Oh, people do vocalise these thoughts in real life too.

My daughter has a disabled bus pass (unfortunately it’s bright orange and not very discrete) and she’s forever being questioned by randoms as to why she should have it, that she “doesn’t look disabled”, that she’s “too young to be disabled”, that she must be faking, that the bus pass is fake, why can’t they travel for free, etc, etc.

We had to provide proof of her disability to the local authority, they accepted that proof and issued it based on her meeting their criteria. She shouldn’t have to explain herself to self appointed busy bodies - and she generally doesn’t, but you know, people are arseholes and won’t give it a rest.

Jesus this thread is an eye opener! Clearly the OP should just always stay at home, how dare the injured and disabled try to find enjoyment and meaning in life.

I don’t think this poster was intentionally minimising racism - the point was a valid one. As a disabled person I am routinely discriminated against because of my disability. Yet I have less recourse than someone discriminated against on the grounds of race, religion or sexuality. The Equality Act 2010 is there to protect the disabled but it’s widely contravened and little is done to address it. Why should disability discrimination be the poor relation to other types of prejudice ?

Yeah, you're right. Non-white people get a really easy ride and police are always extremely keen to prosecute all of those who racially discriminate against and abuse us.

I’ve had this with my blue badge. When these arseholes say ‘you don’t look disabled’ ask them what they think a disabled person should look like. Alternatively tell them your condition is between you and your doctor, and if the relevant authorities have seen fit to issue a bus pass, what business is it of theirs. I find that shuts most people up.

Agreed. Discrimination on the grounds of disability is no less of an issue than discrimination on any other grounds. Yet it’s routinely minimised.

Don’t twist my words, that’s not what I’m saying. Why is my experience as a disabled person any less valid than yours as a non white person ? I’ve been verbally attacked and threatened because of my disability and the police weren’t interested in classifying it as discrimination or a hate crime. We should be united in our experience shouldn’t we ?

So that excuses the OP’s experience does it ?

l was told by my neurologist that with my injury I shouldn’t be here, let alone walking and talking. I feel that I have been given a second chance and I am not going to waste it by naming and shaming or persuing court action, that is negative and potentially a load of hassle, that I don’t need. I am very lucky to be alive, and that’s why I try not to engage with negative people. My lesson has been learnt, in that respect, I will not post on MN again. Thank you to every one who showed understanding and to those struggling with disability, stay strong, you’re not alone. I will walk myinterestingnewpath with my head held high (as I can) and with dignity.

It's isn't 'less valid' It's you, and multiple other posters on this thread (and I've seen the same thing, often, on other threads) who ALWAYS have to start comparing disability discrimination with racial discrimination and always feel so confident in declaring things like:

it’s the one that seems to carry the least in the way of penalties.

Disabled people are attacked, abused and ridiculed and the police are reluctant to prosecute as hate crimes.

it's the only acceptable form of prejudice

they would come down like a ton of bricks if it was racial discrimination

All of which is absolute bullshit. I don't tell you what your life is like as a disabled person, but you and multiple other posters on this thread have repeatedly (and it is repeatedly, it's in at least 15 to 20 different posts on this thread if not more) stated that disabled people 'have it worst', 'are treated worse', 'there would be an outcry if it was racial discrimination'.

Fucking bullshit.

@DotAndCarryOne2 The shorter version of that is that there is no fucking need for posters to constantly try to 'compare and contrast' forms of discrimination and, in doing so, implicitly devalue and deny the actual experiences of racism which non-white people live through every day. It's a thread about assistance dogs and disability discrimination. There is no need for a load of white people to start mouthing off about how much better they would be treated if they were at risk of racial discrimination, rather than for being disabled. Leave racism out of it. It is completely inappropriate and insulting to use this false comparison to try to make a point about being 'the most oppressed'

Can you imagine if the restaurant had turned away someone because of the colour of their skin? Or visibly of a certain religion? Everyone would be up in arms and heads would be rolling at head office.

from page 3 of this thread. Absolute fucking minimising bullshit. Yeah right. Because no one of a visibly different race or religion is ever refused service, and if it ever were to happen, 'heads would roll'. I mean, if you are unable to see how massively stupid, ignorant and offensive this is, I don't know where else to start.

Are you disabled? Are you speaking from lived experience? Because if you’re not, then telling disabled people what their experience is, and where you think it ranks, is as offensive and unacceptable as it would be for a white person to tell you how you experience racism.

No, I'm fucking not.

I've not said one single fucking word about what the experience of being disabled is.

That is the entire fucking point I am making

Unlike the many, many white posters on this thread who feel confident in saying things like:"Discrimination such as this is actually a human rights issue and I can't help but feel that there would be far more outrage if the discrimination was aimed at other groups im society."

I don't go around claiming to know what other people's lived experience is, but many posters on this thread are so fucking confident that they know what it's like to experience racism. (Or not experience it, because as far as they're concerned, it never happens and if it did there would be outrage.)

This is where I was (clumsilly) going (and today I cannot spell either)

As there are avenues where people can take advantage by pretending something they are not, sadly official passes are needed.

I cannot buy a blue badge, and therefore cannot park in a blue badge bay
I can buy a harness, or make my own and pretend I am disabled to gain advantage.

So surely having a pass to say "yes this is an official assistance animal" could be a good thing?

Because she’s clearly not blind, so rather than there being no hassle, it would create more hassle as to why a guide dog was necessary for a seeing person.

Want to share who you registered it with?

So you think that disabled people being attacked, abused and ridiculed, and the police doing nothing about it is fucking bullshit do you ? You have that lived experience do you ? Because I do. I am judged every single day, not by who I am, or what my capabilities are, but by my disability. I have had to fight to be included in education and employment on equal terms with non disabled people, despite being equally or better qualified. I have been discriminated against in healthcare and denied entry to various establishments as a ‘fire hazard, among other lazy excuses for people who can’t be bothered to respect my legal right to inclusion.

People see the disability first and foremost. Everything else that I am comes second until I prove myself. I could go on. Is any of this familiar to you ? Do you not see any similarity ? I can’t possibly know the full impact of discrimination simply because of the colour of my skin, just as you can never know the same because of a disability. But there is common ground. And at no point did I ever state that disabled people ‘have it worst’. What I said was that there seems to be the least amount of recourse for this type of discrimination, because despite there supposedly being laws in place to deal with it, it’s routinely disregarded and when disabled people complain, they’re treated as a nuisance. Why do you insist that in asserting my rights as a disabled person, I’m denying you yours as a person of colour ?