C-section not real birth

[Washingforweeks]

I was just scrollling through Facebook and saw a post about women getting shamed for c-sections. I’ve had 3 vaginal births never a c section so I have never personally experienced this kind of…. Well wtf is it…. Ridiculousness. Is this genuinely a real thing?? Are there women out there being shamed for having c-sections? If so Jesus Christ. Seriously?!

@PoptyPinnnngggg

I didnt think you could choose to have a C Section 🤔

@Midwinter89 is extremely judgmental about it and is trying to dress that up as ‘speaking the truth’ about C-sections.

Sadly, she’s woefully ill-informed, but she is the only that hasn’t realised that.

I remember my MIL commenting that I hadn't given birth properly after I had 2 c-sections due to breech. I was fuming and told her so.

Someone told me ‘if I’d gone to hospital I’d have had to have a c section too.’ Yes that’s right. They do c sections to everyone who goes to hospital just because. So it’s all women’s fault for daring to birth in a hospital. It wasn’t that the baby's heartbeat disappeared and they needed him out to resuscitate him and save his life was it no? I replied ‘if I hadn’t gone to hospital my baby would be dead’. She still didn’t get it. Her heads stuck in some hippy alternative reality where women and babies have never died or been injured as long as they birth on their own, in a flowery meadow, to the sound of whale song, with a band of merry toads to assist with chord cutting (delayed clamping of course!) and a rabbit fur to wrap the baby.

Of course you bloody can!

I’ve had two C sections and never experienced anything like that. When I was a bit upset that I needed my first C section, plenty of mums
told me I wasn’t missing much when it comes to labour though!

Anyway, they were definitely real births. I haven’t been getting up in the middle of the night to feed imaginary babies.

I had two elective c sections. It would be impossible to shame me about them because I’d do it every time and thought they were great!

I was thinking id have a water birth with maybe a puff of gas and air, slightly tongue in cheek but that was my ideal

Actually I couldn't cope with the pain at 2cm, went in to hospital, took the pethadine then over the course of 24 hours where I got to 5cm then back to 4, had an epidural and an emcs. Noones ever shamed me for it and I made the right choice for me and my baby.

I also thought I'd breastfeed exclusively for 6 months but made it to 10 days, 2 bouts of mastitis and an IV antibiotic drip. But although noone shamed me for that either, I carried heavy guilt for months.

You didn’t used to, I had to fight a bit to get my first one but that was a while ago. Apparently you can choose now. I never had any interest in having natural births, so c sections for both. I’m not too posh to push but I certainly didn’t fancy it.

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

Didn’t mean to rile you up

I know a lady who wanted a C Section and was refused as it was for non medical reasons , the DR refused

Totally understand women who have anxiety around giving birth who may opt for a c section

@BellePeppa

I honestly didn’t know that
My youngest is 15 so been a long time since I have had to think about giving birth

I’m pretty sure if men had to give birth, 100% of births would be c-sections. 🤣

I personally couldn’t give a shit what anybody thinks about how my babies arrived. I don’t think most people do, I’ve never heard of anyone making remarks like these.

You didn’t rule me, I was just being emphatic. Women are entitled to the birth they want.

*be that vaginal or abdominal. They can’t guarantee painlessness, whale music, flickering candles, no intervention, birthing pool, helpful husband/partner, kind midwife with tiny hands, etc.

It’s not just c-section shaming. I went to a party when DC1 was about a year old, and a friend of a friend had recently been present when her sister gave birth. She said to me ‘oh birth is just magical isn’t it’.

She didn’t know that I’d had 50 hours of irregular contractions, failed ventouse, eventual forceps delivery leading to a 3b tear, then a very difficult recovery while trying to breastfeed a tongue tied baby, because I was so desperate to get that right since I hadn’t done the birth ‘right’.

DC2 was born by elective c-section. When I told the midwife I wanted one because of what happened with DC1 she was very supportive, but the consultants I saw were keen to talk about the risks of c-sections every time I saw them. For me, the risk of repeating my first experience, with the potential damage and incontinence that could result just wasn’t worth it.

I'm surprised at the number of people who also don't realise this. Since 2011 NICE have recommended that women too posh to push should be offered a C-section if they are informed about the risks and benefits etc. (Link below- scroll down to maternal request for caesarian birth... Although I don't think they use the term 'too posh to push').

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/Recommendations#planning-mode-of-birth

My DH’a ex said exactly that to her children/my stepchildren after my c section with my daughter.

‘My mummy said you didn’t give birth properly’ were the words I was treated with🙄

My female obstetrician told me that nearly all of her female obstetrician friends had opted for elective sections (and voluntary amniocentesis, interestingly. But on that, the miscarriage ‘rate’ is hopelessly out of date from the 70s, it’s about 0.3% by modern standards, apparently), which I found rather intriguing.

Greeted with*

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

As I said didn’t know you could opt for a c section as it’s major surgery and only done in the interest of mum and baby

Not getting into a debate about what women are entitled to

Did you just use ‘too posh to push’ unironically? On a thread about women being judged for CS? (May have misread…?)

Nor am I…? Just sharing information…

I had 2 C-sections not by choice but both babies were breach but not one second has went by where I think my scar is ugly. I'm proud of my scar and has never bothered me, it reminds me of the 2 people who mean more to me than anyone on this earth and yes I'd have opted for natural births given the choice but that's me but never have I thought I was robbed of that choice, my babies are healthy and should women choose C-sections over natural birth is a good thing too. It shouldn't be frowned upon!

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes I can't remember where this was from, but I think I read that midwives choose vaginal and obstetricians choose abominable births. The theory is the midwives are the experts in 'normal' and daily see straight forward vaginal births. The obstetricians are experts in abnormal and see complicated births in the daily. That could definitely alter their perspectives.

Should I have let my baby die then?