Page 10 | C-section not real birth

Washingforweeks · 2023-04-12T18:27:42+00:00

I was just scrollling through Facebook and saw a post about women getting shamed for c-sections. I’ve had 3 vaginal births never a c section so I have never personally experienced this kind of…. Well wtf is it…. Ridiculousness. Is this genuinely a real thing?? Are there women out there being shamed for having c-sections? If so Jesus Christ. Seriously?!

Inabind · 12/04/2023 21:57

I had an emergency c-section with my child. Afterwards, I felt a bit weepy because I had wanted to do it naturally, maybe it was post baby hormones? But at the time when they decided they needed to get her out, I was unbelievably relieved! Pain relief !!!! But I think I do still feel a bit sad that I couldn't deliver her naturally, particularly as my friends who have had natural deliveries talk about how it felt and obviously I don't know what it feels like to actually push the baby out. ....... but I'm not complaining, please don't think that I am! A healthy baby and mum is all that matters in the end.

Nicecow · 12/04/2023 21:57

Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 21:26

To say it’s the most ‘natural’ thing for us to do. None of it feels natural- we need a lot of interference and help. The thought of going through pregnancy and childbirth again knocks me sick

That is though because many get induced and have intervention. I did so much research when I was pregnant and it's quite shocking how much intervention there is, much of which are unnecessary. Once they start to intervene, it usually leads to more intervention. Even lying on your back is the worst position you can be in, yet that's what we all see on TV and in movies. C sections do have significantly more negative outcomes for babies and mothers, both short and long term. Obviously if it is necessary then it needs to be done, and no one should be shamed for that, but people shouldn't be choosing one because it's convenient for them. I don't think they would if they properly knew about the risks.

PoptyPinnnngggg · 12/04/2023 21:58

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 21:54

Did you just use ‘too posh to push’ unironically? On a thread about women being judged for CS? (May have misread…?)

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Nope... As a person who has had a c section for personal choice only, I was referred to as too posh to push earlier.

Suzi888 · 12/04/2023 21:59

Never experienced it.

I would say an emergency c section is quite a brutal procedure having listened to some friends experiences. Another friend literally says her children’s births (vaginal) were like shelling peas! She was lucky. Others have had PND afterwards…torn vaginas, arseholes, infected c sec incisions. The things we go through..

As long as baby and mother are safe that’s all that matters.

Questionquestionqu · 12/04/2023 21:59

I am too posh to push ,💅

lookluv · 12/04/2023 22:00

After 4 miscarriages, multiple personal health issues and a child with cardiac defects , my first was an elective c section.

Mother and baby group post delivery - I was asked if I was disappointed, did i feel the birth had been medicalised and me disempowered. Get real!

I had a baby for the first time, I quite frankly did not give a damn how that happened - it happened. There is nothing wrong with what ever method you choose or need - when the end result is the healthy child you want

RamsayEaster · 12/04/2023 22:01

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

Maybe have a look at the NHS guidance on C sections they happen mostly for medical reasons not just because you decide you don’t want a vaginal birth

Ingrowncrotchhair · 12/04/2023 22:02

IcedBananas · 12/04/2023 21:31

Someone told me ‘if I’d gone to hospital I’d have had to have a c section too.’ Yes that’s right. They do c sections to everyone who goes to hospital just because. So it’s all women’s fault for daring to birth in a hospital. It wasn’t that the baby's heartbeat disappeared and they needed him out to resuscitate him and save his life was it no? I replied ‘if I hadn’t gone to hospital my baby would be dead’. She still didn’t get it. Her heads stuck in some hippy alternative reality where women and babies have never died or been injured as long as they birth on their own, in a flowery meadow, to the sound of whale song, with a band of merry toads to assist with chord cutting (delayed clamping of course!) and a rabbit fur to wrap the baby.

Legit don’t understand why some women want to give birth in the 1700s when we have access to so much in terms of medicine

snowday01 · 12/04/2023 22:02

My daughter died during child birth as an emergency C-section was delayed, after a completely healthy pregnancy I carried her for 41 weeks and laboured for almost 20 hours... the hospital were negligent and by the time they noticed the complications and ordered a crash csection they had left it too late and she died during the csection.. had the section been 20 minutes earlier she would be alive today... I had had two more children both born by elective C-section both alive and healthy today.. I would give ANYTHING to go back and have had a planned csection with my daughter, I am completely unapologetic about not even attempting labour with my subsequent two children. Csections save lives and had my first midwifery team recognised that and called for a C-section when it became apparent one was needed I would have3 children up in their beds tonight instead of two. If anyone ever shamed you about having a C-section hold your head high - a healthy baby and healthy mum is the only outcome that matters and in a few years time no one will care at all about how your child was born - do you care about wether your friends or DP were a vaginal birth or a C-section.. no of course you don't. Honestly even the notion someone would judge a person for that is completely and utterly ridiculous!

lochmaree · 12/04/2023 22:04

I had a cat 1 emcs with DS1. 24hr induced labour, baby back to back, delirious with pain, got to 10cm, failed forceps then section in which the epidural hadn't worked properly so I could feel the operation so put under GA once DS was out. Suspected sepsis after that. Horrendous recovery, really awful. Nerve damage meant I felt a crawling sensation up my left side for about a year afterwards.

DS2 I had loosely aimed for a vbac but discovered he was unstable lie at 39 weeks so had an elcs 2 days later. a vastly different experience but still not pleasant by any means. Recovery much much quicker too. Still got the nerve damage, but this time it's a persistently itchy/tickly shoulder blade. only 9m pp so hoping it dissappears soon!

Not had any comments I've noticed in particular but I certainly felt like I'd failed after DS1 birth, but I think a lot of that was the trauma - my community midwife was concerned about ptsd. After DS2 I felt different, a bit sad to know ill never experience a vaginal birth but not like a failure.

curlywurlylover666 · 12/04/2023 22:06

Try telling people you had a planned c section, then them telling you, that you were clearly too posh to push and had it easy. Um no, my consultant recommended a planned c section for reasons you're not privy to, to make sure that my baby got here safely. Not to mention the recovery afterwards, so no it wasn't an easy route.

Oh and then throw the other hand grenade in, when they realise you breastfed for a 'mere' 8 weeks. That brings on a whole other level of shaming.

People need to be a bit more accepting of others choices, which aren't always their first choice either.

PoptyPinnnngggg · 12/04/2023 22:08

Nicecow · 12/04/2023 21:57

That is though because many get induced and have intervention. I did so much research when I was pregnant and it's quite shocking how much intervention there is, much of which are unnecessary. Once they start to intervene, it usually leads to more intervention. Even lying on your back is the worst position you can be in, yet that's what we all see on TV and in movies. C sections do have significantly more negative outcomes for babies and mothers, both short and long term. Obviously if it is necessary then it needs to be done, and no one should be shamed for that, but people shouldn't be choosing one because it's convenient for them. I don't think they would if they properly knew about the risks.

Show quote history

I knew the risks of c section. I was also aware of the risks of vaginal birth. I weighed them up. I was actually part of a research looking at how women can be best supported to make decisions based on evidence. Most of the evidence comes from csections that were planned due to medical factors which increase the risk of negative outcomes. The risks of negative outcomes for purely maternal request csections are are lower.

Vaginal birth isn't risk free. It has different risks, some of which can be much worse or much better than a c section.

For me and baby c section was straightforward as it comes with no negative outcomes. But I wanted it. perhaps if I didn't want it or if it was an emergency/,planned due to medical factors it would have been different.

curlywurlylover666 · 12/04/2023 22:09

snowday01 · 12/04/2023 22:02

My daughter died during child birth as an emergency C-section was delayed, after a completely healthy pregnancy I carried her for 41 weeks and laboured for almost 20 hours... the hospital were negligent and by the time they noticed the complications and ordered a crash csection they had left it too late and she died during the csection.. had the section been 20 minutes earlier she would be alive today... I had had two more children both born by elective C-section both alive and healthy today.. I would give ANYTHING to go back and have had a planned csection with my daughter, I am completely unapologetic about not even attempting labour with my subsequent two children. Csections save lives and had my first midwifery team recognised that and called for a C-section when it became apparent one was needed I would have3 children up in their beds tonight instead of two. If anyone ever shamed you about having a C-section hold your head high - a healthy baby and healthy mum is the only outcome that matters and in a few years time no one will care at all about how your child was born - do you care about wether your friends or DP were a vaginal birth or a C-section.. no of course you don't. Honestly even the notion someone would judge a person for that is completely and utterly ridiculous!

I am truly sorry for your loss and I cannot possibly imagine the pain you felt. I'm so sorry you went through that 😔 xxx

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 22:10

PoptyPinnnngggg · 12/04/2023 21:58

Nope... As a person who has had a c section for personal choice only, I was referred to as too posh to push earlier.

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Oh I see! I was called that too. I agreed with them, I had no intention of pushing!

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 22:12

RamsayEaster · 12/04/2023 22:01

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

Maybe have a look at the NHS guidance on C sections they happen mostly for medical reasons not just because you decide you don’t want a vaginal birth

What are you telling me that for? I thought you weren’t getting into it? You can ask for a C-section if you want one. It’s a valid birthing choice. And the nhs will facilitate it. You may have to make your case a bit to some, but you will get it if that’s what you want.

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 12/04/2023 22:15

I haven't had a c section but a bitch of an acquaintance, who happens to be a midwife, said my forceps delivery was 'the cheating route' to giving birth

RamsayEaster · 12/04/2023 22:20

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

Only getting into because tbh cant
believe so many people have one due to
personal choice when NHS guidelines only advise for medical terms / extreme circumstances
Why anyone would consider medical surgery the best choice for them / baby when not necessary I simply can’t understand

PoptyPinnnngggg · 12/04/2023 22:20

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 22:10

Oh I see! I was called that too. I agreed with them, I had no intention of pushing!

Show quote history

Personally I don't mind it being referred to ironically as too posh to push (perhaps because no one has shamed me for it??). But perhaps I shouldn't have said it as it keeps the phrase alive.

StrandedStarfish · 12/04/2023 22:21

Well a real baby has been birthed during the caesarean section , so it’s real birth

Tessisme · 12/04/2023 22:23

Not a real birth? Well, there's sure as hell a real baby at the end of it. Some people just need to feel superior in a weird, incomprehensible way.

PoptyPinnnngggg · 12/04/2023 22:23

RamsayEaster · 12/04/2023 22:20

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

Only getting into because tbh cant
believe so many people have one due to
personal choice when NHS guidelines only advise for medical terms / extreme circumstances
Why anyone would consider medical surgery the best choice for them / baby when not necessary I simply can’t understand

Medical guidelines don't advise not to have a c section for personal choice. It's the opposite and NICE (body that writes guidelines) recommended for people who want it.

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/chapter/Recommendations#planned-caesarean-birth

Tessisme · 12/04/2023 22:23

Crossposted there!!

YirumaFan1 · 12/04/2023 22:24

Flittingaboutagain · 12/04/2023 20:19

I do think the people who opt for planned sections and never attempt a vaginal delivery don't give birth. They don't experience contractions, dilation etc and technically don't know what it is to give birth or labour. They have an extraction I suppose. Nothing wrong with it, not lesser or unworthy but obviously not the same.

So those children are never born and they don’t have birthdays or birth certificates and no one registers the birth? @Flittingaboutagain

neslop · 12/04/2023 22:24

DC1 emergency cesarean, DC2 vaginal with forceps, DC3 ventouse- I always joke that I should have kept going as I might finally have had a 'natural' birth! But seriously, was just happy all 3 were delivered safely, however they arrived.

RamsayEaster · 12/04/2023 22:26

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes

NHS guidelines also don’t advise you to have one 🤔