To not keep paying?

[Tilllly]

DS is in first year at Uni

I said we'd pay for hall for up to a year whilst he found a job

So we're paying £1500 a term, and his £1500 cost of living grant is just for him
He has £500 a month spending money... and has nothing left, plus he's spent the £500 his GPs gave him "for emergencies" bless them!

I've said we're not paying next year. He's had ample time to find a job, plus wtf is he spending £500 a month on? I don't have that to spend. And whilst we're not desperately struggling, the hall costs aren't easy

There are 2 massive supermarkets, 15/20 mins away and he says there are no jobs
But it seems all his friends have jobs

DH thinks we should keep paying but I think he needs to bloody grow up

Am I really being that unreasonable? DS1 got a job and we'd bail him out when he was stuck. DS2 needs to do the same

But fees have been £9k for over a decade (since 2012)? I don’t think you can use that excuse. The parents with DC in sixth form when the fees tripled in one year, yes, I can buy the shock and being unprepared. But not anyone today. If anything it’s lucky they haven’t tripled again over the past decade but been mostly frozen!

As others have said OP, you are misinformed. As you know there are no grants unless you are on very low income and qualify for hardship direct from the uni or for example you are first one in generations in your family to do a degree (my son got one of these plus a hardship grant one year).

Your son is getting a minimum loan, you need to top it up. This is assessed on your income, so you must have a decent income. They don’t take outgoings into account - blame successive governments for that.

Both my older ones work/worked during term time and holidays too. Plus were given money by grandparents each term. My daughter tutors for a nationwide agency that has the govt contract for levelling up. She earns very well - she paid for a number of holidays last year. As long as you have an A * in the subject at a level, you can tutor the subject and she is easily getting work because she tutors two traditionally very hard subjects that there are a lack of tutors for. In the holidays she works in a nursing home. My son did kitchen portering, bar work and also worked at a football club.

my daughter is studying a not easy STEM degree with lots of lab time and contact time, it is possible to work as well if you are organised.

you’ll also need to consider living costs will rise in year 2/3 as private rentals now often don’t include bills eg energy whereas they often did in the past.

I was aware fees had increased but I don’t believe level of expected parental contribution is well known, lots still assume everyone can borrow/repay same amount of maintenance loan. We have saved and only have one dc.

They don't even seem to take into account whether you have other younger children to support or more than one at Uni or anything. We could potentially have 2 at Uni next year and it is going to cripple us and we are lucky we don't have a mortgage. We are not high earners, very average earnings. Fortunately dd is taking a gap year and going to try to save as much as she can.

If you are getting into debt, it’s not sustainable but it’s not been unreasonable of ds to expect the same income of £9700 as his friends and most students. If this can’t happen then you all need a good chat so he understands that he really does need to get a job and why.

Finances aside, it will be good for your son to get a job. If he's too busy during term time then during the holidays. I had lots of fun working as a student and made many friends. It will help develop workplace skills and instil a sense of responsibility.

It will be interesting to see whether all that free time he has results in good grades at the end of the first year.

@Tilllly

It sounds as though your son has received the minimum loan,did you give your p60 figures last year for the student loan?
If not, your ds2 may have been entitled to more depending on your total household income.
Make sure you complete your part of this year's application.

You are supposed to contribute unless he gets full whack maintenance loan...

Even a job is unlikely to pay his full rent unless he's working a hell of a lot. I worked 16-20th a a week and it wouldn't have covered my rent let alone anything else.

I am quite shocked by some of the people who are expecting their children to work while at university.

DS (1st year) says that he is bored on his course, it's too easy. He doesn't socialise or do sports, instead spends most his time playing RocketLeague.

DD is in the easy year in a long hard course; she leapt to do some work for my company in last few months. She's bored with going out & is told her end-of-year essays (finished months early) are already brilliant.

hth

Being a student does not mean you have a rught to a wonderful social life or free accommodation. If you have kept your promise then it's his turn now,even if u can afford to pay for halls. I think a nominal amount towards food might be a good idea. When I was a student you expected to 'rough it'.

It s 2 more years to show support for your ds while encouraging him to get a paid job in vacations .
If you supported eldest thru uni you should support this one .

What a disgrace it is that university courses cost so much but give so little. I was horrified when my DD said that she only had commitments 2 days a week. She was not that far from us, so it might have been better if she had gone into B&B one night a week then come home the rest of the time! - she was coming home anyway to see her boyfriend. he finished up paying for accommodation that she only used one or two night a week - barmy!

A few years back when I was at university we seriously had lectures/tutorials all day every weekday, bar one afternoon off midweek. It was a lot of hard graft but at least I was getting my money's worth!

Your son should get a job. Keep to your agreement and stop paying for the second year and he will then have to get his act together.

I would love to make some financial contribution to my GC's university education when the time comes - but I have 7 of them so can't afford that!

My child is in their first year at university. She is trying to get a job but to no avail. The bars and cafes say they have no vacancies and the shops want more hours than she can do. She has managed to get some experience with a friend of mine in their shop over Easter so she is hoping this will make a difference.

It is definitely not as easy to get casual work as we are led to believe.

I wouldn't have been able to do as well as I did in university if my parents made me get a job. Also none of my friends had part time jobs while at university. I think OP is being unreasonable.

He needs to grow up fast, silly little boy.

Stop paying halls at the end of fisrt year; he needs to sort his own accommodation for yr 2 ; flat with friends will require a deposit so he'd best start saving NOW. He needs a summer vacation job. Do not host a three month rest under the duvet.

Then he needs to start living within his budget, and get a PT termtime job. Warn the GPs no more handouts.

I actually find it shocking that the loans are based on parental income. These students are adults now and should all be on a level playing field. They should all be able to get the maximum loans and to stand on their own 2 feet, it feels like they are starting their adult lives on an uneven playing field. The loans are paid back by them.

lets face it, some parents could absolutely afford to pay for their children but don't and some parents cannot afford it and end up putting costs on a credit card and getting into debt themselves.

i think meeting the students basic needs is enough. food/accommodation costs is fair. they dont need new clothes as often as some people on here seem to think. if they want to go out drinking etc. then they need to get a job.

your son knew he was only covered for the first year and would then have to get a job for 2nd year etc. this has been no surprise to him. if he really didnt want to do that then he should have saved some of his money from this year. lets face it, students can be very frugal if needed, he just clearly hasnt needed to.

He needs to get a job. If he has time for socialising and X-Box he has time for a job.

It’s been the same for mine. One had to be an unpaid volunteer for a year and that was literally how they beat over 200 applicants for a zero hours contract on NMW averaging 10hrs/week their 2nd year of Uni. And they had been working since age 16, so this wasn’t a case of having no work experience before Uni. They’d been applying constantly to jobs the whole time as well.

There are jobs, the problem is that there are far more students who need/want work than there are jobs.

Exactly. At least your child had work experience and got there in the end. Well done her!
I didn’t think it would be this hard.

There's no legal obligation, but I think there is a moral one to provide if your circumstances permit it. E.g I'm not legally obliged to attend parents evening, but it would be a bit crap if I didn't.

OP it sounds like he is getting the minimum ie £4,500 living grant, £1500 course fees plus extra shops, mobile phone and Netflix = £9,700 or thereabouts.

But without a job, he will have zero to spend in the holidays unless he has saved. I assume he is coming home? Tell him he needs to get a summer holiday job now.
For years 2&3 he may want to live away for 12 months a year meaning his rent and outgoings will increase. He needs to plan his finances now and either frugalise or get a job.

I truly sympathise if you are struggling to pay the £5200 p/a - I agree with other pps that you kind of have to but should stop it at that - nothing more. Can your DH do anything to drop down into the lower pay bracket ie increase pension contributions? Sorry if this is a shit idea (I don’t actually know how it works)

Sorry first sentence should be £1,500 hall fees. Not course fees

DS has applied for 76 jobs over this academic year to no avail - he’s been told there are upwards of 50 applicants per job for minimum wage zero hour contracts and over 100 per supermarket job.

He’s never worked before because he was very involved in volunteering throughout high school, so his plan to offset some costs hasn’t happened.

It might not be as easy for OP’s son to find work as she thinks.

He needs a job!
My daughter is in a course where she is in uni / placement 40 hours a week and still has a job.

This thread is SO interesting - I went to uni in the late 2000's and everyone worked to make up what they needed on top of the loans/grants, yes parents would stock the fridge if they came to visit and christmas/birthdays were always cash rather than presents, but I only knew of two people who got a weekly parental stipend and that was because they were doing medicine so it was considered fairly impossible to work alongside.
I don't think it was a common thing to know what the 'expected amount' was from the government and then parents actually paid accordingly - although maybe someone who also went to uni at that time had a different experience? We used to talk about money a fair bit among us and everyone was always tipping each other off about extra shifts going etc.

Putting all that aside - unless he's got expensive travel costs, £500 for food, socialising etc is plenty? Students don't tend to eat in restaurants that cost you £30 a head anyway... you choose cheap.
Also - surely you work in summers and at Christmas at least (understand for people who live in the middle of nowhere that can be hard) because otherwise how do you fund anything you want to do over the summer?
I think I grew up in a very different tax bracket...