DS doesn't want to invite my close friend's son to party

128 replies

Notherenotnow · 11/04/2023 20:33

I have a school mum friend who I have been close to for 5 years now. As a result, our sons became very good friends and have always been in the same class at school.

Over the past year, my son has tried to distance himself from my friend's son somewhat, as he annoys him at school and DS has found other friends that have similar interests. We still all walk home together etc, and they both have the same friendship group, so he hasn't cut him off completely.

It's my son's birthday soon and he is adamant that he does not want to invite my friend's son as he will ruin it. He will only be inviting 5 children anyway, but my friend will definitely be expecting an invite.

I just don't know what to do...my friend is so lovely but this will put a huge strain on our relationship if I don't invite him. However, if I do, then I have ruined my son's special day.

Just so I'm not drip feeding - I have experienced my friend's son's behaviour towards my DS when I pick him up from school sometimes. He can be quite unruly, shouting out of the car window, annoying my son. I let it go because my friend has a difficult life and she is very defensive of her son, so there's no point rocking the boat as such.

OP posts:

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 12/04/2023 22:53

Op I completely understand been there as a very close friend had a son same age as my 2 dss who was a bully to my much younger dds so consequently my dss disliked him.

Sadly it made a break in our friendship as she couldn't see his behaviour snd we couldn't tolerate it. Took a while though.

My advice support your son snd family. You probably won't know your 'friend!' In 3 years time as your dss and her dss go different paths

TheaBrandt · 12/04/2023 23:04

Breezy confident matter of fact tone “think the boys seem to be developing other friendships well it was always going to happen we’ve had a good run” change subject.

Don’t make him invite the lad and why on earth do people keep suggesting a separate one to one outing?!

Blinkingheckythump · 13/04/2023 06:47

UsingChangeofName · 12/04/2023 18:51

He isn't.

He isn't in the OP's ds's friendship group.
It is right there, in the opening post.

Over the past year, my son has tried to distance himself from my friend's son somewhat, as he annoys him at school and DS has found other friends that have similar interests.
The ds is still pleasant to the boy - they presumably live near one another and the OP and her friend walk home together, and they are in the same class, so they get on for that time, But the OP's ds has grown up. He isn't 4 or 5 anymore. He must be 10, and has formed a newer, closer friendship group with some other boys who share the same interests. As is normal and healthy.
He wants to invite those 5 friends to celebrate his birthday with.
No, he hasn't invited the whole class except for this one boy. He has chosen a small group of friends that he likes, gets on with and shares interests with. As is very, very normal for 10 year olds celebrating their birthday.

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I think you might not have read the full opening post. It goes on to say "We still all walk home together etc, and they both have the same friendship group".
Anyways this whole debate is pointless as the op hasn't come back to confirm if they are in a small friend group where the boy will be the only one left out or not

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