To think this is very odd for a 8 year old to say?

[imsoverytired83]

Today DD8 said to my husband ‘Mummy is having an affair, she told me and she doesnt love you anymore’. DH was telling her no, she couldn’t eat another Easter egg and it was getting heated, DD has a bit of an issue with chocolate (doesn’t know when to stop) and had eaten enough.

DH knows i am not (I am not) and told her off for lying and saying something to try and hurt his feelings. I have also explained to her that its not nice to lie but also to say something like that but I cant stop thinking about it.

I have no idea why or how DD knows what an affair is and why she would say something like that with venom to one of us.

Should I be concerned? The lying to be spiteful is a bit worrying!

My daughter has an ongoing story that I’m having an affair with the postman! She so deadpan! It started at about the same age as your DD. I wouldn’t worry too much unless it becomes a pattern/ regular thing. There’s some good advice here about the chocolate- I wish an adult had taken some action with the chocolate I ate when I was a little girl! Very bad habits developed!

Just to clarify, the postman story became a bit of a joke (she’s 16 now!) which is why we still have it, so not an actual concerning regular thing!

So I wouldn't ban chocolate or make it a punishment because you then inadvertently make it a 'reward' for good behaviour which is partly what can make an unhealthy relationship. I'd do some cooking etc with her instead and try to teach her that there are no good or bad foods but there are some foods that are better for our bodies and what they do, eg make us strong, help us heal cuts etc etc. I'd serve sweets in appropriate portion size along with other foods she'd be having for lunch/ dinner anyway and when it's done I'd say, the chocolate is done now but you can pick xy or z to have instead and just be very neutral about it.

I wouldn't worry too much about what she said, she's not of an age yet where she can fully regulate her emotions and children will toy with their power to use their words to elicit various reactions from other people. I'd be inclined to pay down any reaction to that type of behaviour at the time and then go back to her later and explain that lying is not acceptable and why. Maybe read a few books together with a life lesson in them because of lying. I imagine she's seen/ heard about this on TV or maybe a friends parents have been going through it etc. I wouldn't worry I think this is actually fairly normal behaviour for that age.

I agree with PPs that she has probably heard from school or tv.

I remember my sister telling her daughter (about that age) that she was expecting another baby child #3. Daughter came home after playing at a friend's house & told my sister that 'Angela's mum has tablets to stop her having too many babies, she could lend you some if you like.'

I would definitely be having words about that. Not necessarily the content - as others have said it could have come from anywhere - but why she thought that saying something hurtful might get her dad to do something she wants? We know as adults she's pushing boundaries, but I think it's important to address it so she can learn from it.

A chocolate treat after a meal and at no other time will help with demands to eat sweets etc constantly. It instills self control and adds a sense of yummy anticipation for meal times.

OP hasn't asked for unsolicited advice on chocolate eating.

I would just talk to her about it. Might just be testing a boundary. The most important thing is it didn’t work. She didn’t get more chocolate for saying it. If it keeps happening I would worry and possibly use some form of punishment.

When I was around that age I wanted to stay at a friends house and was told no. For some bizarre reason I told my friends DM that I had to stay there as my grandmother was ill and needed my bed. Basically I would have said any old nonsense to get what I wanted. The mothers obviously discussed it, i did not stay there, had an appropriate punishment and no more was said. I know what I did was not hurtful, just disrespectful, and as an adult seems particularly ridiculous, but I am posting this response as an example that sometimes small people will use whatever they have heard of to try and get what they want. Your DD wanted more chocolate, I wanted a sleepover. I doubt he had any thoughts about hurting you, just hoping to achieve her goal! I hope you can all laugh about it in the future.

Yeah you're right, he's been busted

🤦‍♀️

Kids come out with some weird stuff. She’s only 8 after all. Present a happy, strong, united front as parents to her and don’t overreact. Big reactions empower children in the wrong way. OP, you and DH seem pretty sound to be fair.

There’s always one idiot on a thread 🙄🙄

I spoke with a developmental peds doctor about something similar mine was saying to me and I was told it’s all about how you react to it. If you don’t pay it any mind, it’ll surely diminish. It just seeks reaction.. any. But if I don’t press the red button, how am I s’posta know what it does?!” kind of thing.

My son has always done this, he has autism and thinks it's funny to get a reaction. It can get me really upset though, like the time he told his teacher that I hated her.

Oh bless you. I'm sure the teacher understood.

If that's the case it shows why there is an age restriction on social media

Strange unpleasant vindictive child. Does she have friends.

What a strange unpleasant, vindictive thing for an adult to say about a child! Do you have any friends?