To think this is very odd for a 8 year old to say?

[imsoverytired83]

Today DD8 said to my husband ‘Mummy is having an affair, she told me and she doesnt love you anymore’. DH was telling her no, she couldn’t eat another Easter egg and it was getting heated, DD has a bit of an issue with chocolate (doesn’t know when to stop) and had eaten enough.

DH knows i am not (I am not) and told her off for lying and saying something to try and hurt his feelings. I have also explained to her that its not nice to lie but also to say something like that but I cant stop thinking about it.

I have no idea why or how DD knows what an affair is and why she would say something like that with venom to one of us.

Should I be concerned? The lying to be spiteful is a bit worrying!

Totally sounds like she has been discussing things with her friend who’s parents have split & that is where the words have come from.
Her friend has probably told her that now mum & dad have split they are both being super nice to her & buying her everything she wants & your daughter may be trying to get the same.

Totally behind you on removing all the chocolate. She is old enough to deal with consequences from her words/actions & what she said was really not nice or necessary.

Like any of us have the time or energy for an affair 😂

Bertie is, as ever, being extremely sensible and wise. No pearl-clutching, she's trying to see if it gets a rise out of you.

Haven't read the full thread, so sorry if someone else has said this, but have you asked her what she thinks it means? My step son made some comments when he was younger with no understanding of their meaning, and was mortified when he was enlightened.

Oh FFS! That nasty idea had already been dealt with! Read the OPs posts at least?

What makes you think that?

Fucking hell DD is being silly.... dad is having an affair.

Missing the point somewhat! Op knows that too much chocolate isn’t good - that’s why it was being limited! Not the issue here…
if it’s a one off Op, I wouldn’t worry and your response seems appropriate.

Don’t suppose she is learning about King Arthur at school?! 😂 my 8 year old is and was watching some you tube videos on King Arthur and Camelot and it spoke about “the affair between Genevieve and Lancelot” multiple times! & this was a kids history you tube!
that said, my 8 year old did not question me about it so maybe she doesn’t understand.
i think you tackled it in the best way - explaining it was a mean thing to say.

My nephew went to school and told his teacher he wouldn't be making a Mother's Day card because his mother and grandmother had just died in a car accident. Cue call from school offering deepest sympathy and asking if there was anything they could do. I was appalled and thought there must be something terribly wrong for DN to say such a thing but then heard it's really quite common.

I remember being around that age and my toddler little brother climbing up me and being toddler-pully. I was doing the whole:"ooh look, he's attacking me! Help! Help!"
Then followed with:
"Help! I need assistance! Attack! Rape!"

I'd seen it on Are you being served, mrs slocombe being dramatic, and thought it was another word for being pestered. My mum did not.

She’ll have picked it up at school, I wouldn’t give it any more thought as to the origins - it isn’t “strange” or “odd” - kids sometimes say mad things.

She needs a punishment though as she needs to learn that lying can be very damaging. Ask her how she would feel if daddy had believed her and you split up? She needs to have a think on this one.

Nothing to worry about.

Oh dear! Kids do say the funniest things lol

I Think at that age they listen and pick up everything. My 8 year old asked Alexa how you get a divorce my dh saw it on the history and thought it was me! 🙄

Why are you allowing an 8yo unfettered access to social media?

She wants chocolate and isn't allowed it. In her mind her mummy is being mean to her and it hurts. So she wants to hurt her back. Maybe saying this will make mummy feel bad like she does at the moment.
I reckon she's just hitting back with something she has picked up as being a 'bad' thing between mums and dads.

I remember aged 10 or 11 hearing a joke in the playground that seemed funny and telling it to my family round the dinner table that night.
Punchline was "mummy mummy put Ur headlights on, there's a snake in the hairy jungle"
Anyway it was met with stony silence.
I had no idea what it meant🤣

Kids pick up stuff and repeat it. Just life.
.

Where does it say that?

Could she be telling the truth?

One thing I do think is important is that kids can find their way back from a lie and 'fess up if it goes too far.

I'm going to be extremely vague here, but a child in my DD1's class made an allegation against another child last year. It was fairly unlikely to be true, because of time/place/opportunity, but the school had to treat it seriously because it could potentially have been a safeguarding issue.

Child 2 almost became a pariah - they weren't allowed to be alone with other kids. Others picked up on it and began to make complaints (albeit more mundane ones) to teachers about Child 2.

Child 1's parent then told all the parents on the class WhatsApp in EXPLICIT detail what Child 2 was alleged to have done. Cue absolutely vile parent witch hunt against Child 2.

Social services got involved - with both families. And at that point, it was learnt that Child 1 had made a very similar allegation 2/3 years back.

Child 1's parent totally kicked off - "are you calling my child a liar?" - and of course Child 1 won't go back on what they alleged because it's now just gone way way way too far.

Child 2, more than a year on, is still being treated like a sex offender and has all these safeguarding rules in place so that they can't "attack" other children. And all because adults made it absolutely impossible for Child 1 to confess that they (probably) said something that wasn't true.

Well op is hardly going to admit that on here is she? Yes I'm hacking nag an affair and my DD outed me to my DH!

Yeah, I’d be worried about the spitefulness of this. It’s the “doesn’t love you anymore” that’s the worrying bit - she would know what that meant and I’m not sure it is acceptable to let this go as a comical childish input. She needs to learn that her words have consequences.

I would not ignore this. You are very lucky that this lie was easily dismissed. What if her next lie results in an arrest or a visit from social services. Lies to manipulate are not ok.

Sounds awful and very odd to me. I have four daughters and none of them knew what an affair was aged 8 nor would they say something like that if they were annoyed at me?! Maybe your daughter heard it from a television programme or something or heard the word affair and thinks it means something else? So in answer to your question yes I'd be concerned and try to find out where she learned this from 😳

Haven't read the full thread but I think your husband's reply
He laughed and “oh is she now?”. is perfect. At 8 she really won't understand the full ramifications of what she said, and it sounds like you and your husband are an excellent team, so I wouldn't worry about it anymore OP.

It seems a strange thing to say for a little girl TBH. She seems to maybe be upset by her friends family break up maybe ? She may have watched a soap like East Enders or maybe overheard a snippet.Sounds a bit odd .Perhaps take her for a day out together and see if you can chat to her and what is at the bottom of it

@Nightynightnight -seriously??

It seems obvious that it's come from her friend's parents splitting up. She knows it's something bad but not really what it means. She might have been throwing it out to see if you would explain it to her. Sometimes DCs do that.