Partner shoved DD this morning

[Hairymaery]

My 18 m/o DD and I always sleep in bed together as she's a bad sleeper, my partner sleeps in his own bed.

Were on holiday with family at the moment in a big house so are sleeping altogether in the same room.

This morning my partner woke up in a bad mood as he'd had an awful nights sleep (as had I as I had to keep settling our dd back to sleep).

She wakes up and is all 'Dada dada' as she's excited to see him. All he says is 'Yes I've had an awful nights sleep because of you'. A few minutes later she's trying to interact with him, he tried to hug her but shes very clingy with me so moans about it. At this point he shoves her and says in a nasty tone 'go away then' or something of that jist.

He has a history of nastily shoving me in the past, before she was born. This has shocked me as I never thought he could show this kind of behaviour towards our daughter. She is my world and I just can't look at him, thinking he could be like that with her.

Am I being unreasonable? Is this him just grumpy dad behaviour or would you say this is unkind and out of order to be like this towards a child?

I am saying this as a parent of two children that were born a year apart and were terrible terrible sleepers – neither me or my husband has ever shoved them in this nasty way.

She’s a baby.

I know what it’s like to be severely sleep, deprived and frustrated with small children… But a violently and nastily shove a baby? And to speak to her like that. I’d be livid and would have taken her home without him.

what is he going to be like when she is three years old and having tantrums?

He’s been abusive to you and now he’s going to be abusive to your daughter unless you leave

Imagine when she starts shoving back.
it’ll escalate , it always does, leave him.

He's dangerous and abusive, you need to leave to keep your DC safe. At the very least, he needs anger management courses to avoid any physical interactions with you or your child again

Bye bye partner.

Have you got somewhere to go?

Ignore @alexdgr8 ‘s utterly ignorant and idiotic remarks !

Don’t make excuses for an arsehole and don’t turn it around onto op.

Physical assault on a baby is more unhealthy don’t you think?

Check your post again, did you really mean it the way it came across?

Despite lots of sleep issues and however grumpy we were we never shoved dc. Maybe a grumpy word but never a shore. Lots of musical beds over the years esp when staying away. Even if he is feeling left out shoving a child is never ok!

Yes do make sure you carve out couple time ( needs both of you on board to create a plan) but that doesn't need to be at night

Physically assaulting a baby is never OK. Leave now and save yourself and DD years of abuse from this man.

He has a history of nastily shoving me in the past, before she was born. This has shocked me as I never thought he could show this kind of behaviour towards our daughter
this makes absolutely no sense at all. He likes shoving women around. He shoved you around. Now he is shoving his daughter. A baby. How is that a leap in your mind? He is disgusting. He cannot be trusted not to hurt his own child.

Honestly OP, sleep deprivation is awful, and I say this having had three kids under four at one point, but neither DH or I would ever ever have done this to any of our three. Even the cross tone he took with her is unacceptable and the shoving is inexcusable. She’s a baby. Please don’t stay with someone like this.

What an absolutely disgusting comment. He feels rejected so poor man had no choice but to be violent towards his wife and baby? Fuck off back to the rock your crawled out from.

Given that you mentioned your partner has also displayed physical violence towards you in the past, this is concerning. You shouldn't be with this man and you and your child are potentially at risk of serious harm.

I know it's not as easy as all that to just leave but please seek some help - Women's Aid, talk to a friend you can trust to keep this private. Start to make safe plans to end this relationship and get away from him - sorting out your finances, arranging for a place where you and DD can stay that. It may take you some time to get there mentally, but this man is not a decent partner or father.

The first time he hurt you, he showed you who he was. I won't blame you for choosing to stay as I know situations are complex and you were likely hoping for the best, but for the sake of your child, please seek help and think about leaving him when you can.

Well abusive men do tend to abuse people. He has been physically abusive to you and now he’s going to physically abuse your daughter as well. Sad but hardly surprising. It’s like saying ‘my dog bit me, now it’s bitten my cousin - I never thought it would bite somebody even though it did before!’

If you stay with him, you're telling her that it's ok to be treated that way.

Get rid of him. Fast. He pushed and shoved you, an adult, and now he’s starting on a tiny baby. He’s not safe to be around.

I'm used to the constant explain away of violence against women.

But excusing violence against a toddler is a new low.

OP he has started to abuse your baby. He's violent to you and didn't even wait until her second birthday to start on her.

BTW DD didn't sleep properly until 2. No one ever shoved her.

Is this his actual DD?

God I would of packed his bags so fast he needs to get gone.

I would have left when he shoved me. No way would I let him do that to a child.