16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

[RedFlags1]

It was my birthday last month and I went round to my new partners house for a meal with my two daughters.

After dinner I sat in an arm chair in the sitting room and my 16 year old came in and sat on my knee and gave me a hug and said Happy Birthday Dad. She was on my knee for about 30 seconds.

My partner was moody all evening and then shocked me by saying that this was because my daughter had sat on my knee. She said that this was abnormal and disgusting, that she thought it completely inappropriate for an adult woman to sit on my knee.

She went on to say that this made her feel sick and about to faint.

I am stunned by this reaction to something that I see as completely natural and not at all controversial.

At home I will often sit on the sofa next to my girls (16, 20+, 20+++) and put my arm around them. I have never for one second thought this inappropriate, nor have they.

Can I ask, does anyone think that it is inappropriate behaviour or disgusting?

This.
Weird OTT reaction.

Wow. Red flag.
The fact she is jealous or disgusted at a display of innocent affection between a dad and his daughter is a huge worry. What next?...

If this is true...dump the new girlfriend

She is bonkers! And probably a bit jealous. My teenage sons often sat on my knee (I would almost collapse but I loved it all the same!).

Your daughters show you love and are affectionate towards you, this shows you are loved and are a good dad to them for them to feel comfortable enough to show you even in front of others, she is the one sexualising it, you probably had those girls on your knee when they were young I don’t feel it should be sexualised just because they are adults. This is coming from someone who never had a dad and would have loved to have been close, they say a girls first love is her daddy. Get rid of that horrid woman trying to come between you and your daughters she is disgusting 🤮

If my dad had stopped me sitting on his knee I'd have been devastated. Nothing wrong with this at all x

That is bizarre on her part!
anyone who sexualises that between a father and his daughter is the one with the problem!
I’m assuming she’s not a mother

While I understand this DP has no right to judge everyone by those standards and calling it disgusting when there was no sexual motive is in itself very strange.

OP hopefully you've had a discussion as to why your DP said what they did and got to the bottom of it and they're not just jealous of your DD.
Would be awful if your relationship development and you went on to have a child of your own and your next post was DP doesn't want my DD visiting my new DC.
Think ahead...

Maybe something has happened to her in her past to trigger that reaction or she’s just insanely jealous, but you are totally not being unreasonable and it’s lovely to share a bond like that.

There may be a reason she reacted so strongly, trauma can cause similar reactions to normal events.
The relationship is over either way and you have done nothing wrong.

I still cuddle my mum and dad and they are in their 80s.

DS (19) is currently sprawled out
On the sofa with his legs over me.

Get rid.
nothing weird or abnormal, be happy you have this rstionship

Ditch the partner.
She's jealous of your children, this will only get worse

That is a horrible thing to accuse you of, and very malicious.
What you described sounds normal. It's good that your daughter still wants to express affection for you, and you shouldn't be ashamed of that- you should be proud. Lots of parents are sad that their kids pull away. You've obviously created a strong, loving bond with your kids.
Don't allow this person to make you or your daughter feel bad or abnormal for having a loving relationship.
How sad for her that she is jealous and has such a warped outlook.

The partner is the disgusting one, what was going through her mind. Get rid, she has a warped imagination of you and you're daughter. Perfectly normal loving father and daughter interaction.

Your partner is mental and you need to get rid of her . There is nothing wrong about a daughter sitting in a dads leg at any age .

She’s the one in the wrong. Please don’t give any credibility to what she said. Whether she’s creepy or overly possessive or has past trauma, none of us can know; but I would’ve actually been so sad if my dad had stopped me sitting on his knee or having a cuddle on the couch at that age because it was “inappropriate”. I think it’s lovely that you’ve clearly been a good and a safe dad and your daughters love you.

Absolutely this! Her reaction is weird and says a-lot about her mindset.

Afraid its your partner with the problem….show her this thread….

Sounds like my step mum. I don't see my dad anymore because his wife was so jealous of me and my sister. We could never be alone with him or she would accuse him of all sorts. Pathetic and disgusting!

I’m in my 40s and often snuggle in with my dad on the sofa. I’ll get in to bed (in pjs) with my mum for a coffee and chat too, and when I was having chemo in my late 20s my dad and I curled up, he hugged me and we watched golf together. Tiger is NOTHING wrong with a consensual close family relationship and she is weird.

It is wonderful that your daughter will still do this, it's your partner that has the problem.

You’re definitely not in the wrong @RedFlags1 I have an adult DS and we cuddle all the time. We sometimes still lean on each other to watch a film, and when he was very poorly in hospital aged 18, I laid next to him at the suggestion of the nurse because she said it would ease his anxiety and in turn, lessen his pain.
Maybe there is something in your girlfriend’s past that has skewed her perspective on ‘normal’ family tactility.

I hope you listen to people here and prioritise your relationship with your daughter over this woman. Whatever might have happened to her in the past can be an explanation for such a reaction, but it doesn't mean you should ever change your perfectly normal-sounding relationship with your family.

This. Run, fast!