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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not expect to pay excessive amount as we're family.

601 replies

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 14:15

In laws brought themselves a caravan on a haven site a year ago. Decided to spend some pension money on it.
the site fees have renewed and have gone up just like everything else in life.
They don't rent it out and we only use it as family.
Anyway father in law has just charged his own son £75 for 3 nights to use it. He owed me money for ordering him a new tablet and doing him a favour so took the money out of that which I couldn't afford to lose.

Before the season started he mentioned charging £25 a day but nothing else happened and no mention of it again before we went.

He's also charged brother in law £150 to use but they paid upfront.

Am i being unreasonable to feel this is a lot to charge your own children and £10 or so a day would be sufficient. I'm not convinced I spend £25 a day heating and lighting my 3 bed home. They get their passes included with the caravan for 10 people.

Husband won't challenge it because it won't make any difference.

OP posts:
angela99999 · 13/04/2023 17:05

Looking at what @dig135 said about site fees, the £25 per day could be about right.

T1Dmama · 13/04/2023 19:50

Of course you should pay. You’d pay Atleast double that privately and your family need to cover fees, passes and cleaners

Teatotal2 · 13/04/2023 20:32

Miajk · 11/04/2023 14:32

They'd be paying it anyway so what's the difference to them?

They're not covering costs their just trying to profit. People on here are weird. Why would you charge your relative 25 a night just to make money off them!

Show quote history

The OP is trying to profit not the in law's. As stated in OP costs have risen dramatically, if they didn't ask for nominal amount they may need to give up caravan, then everyone loses.
Passes alone are far more expensive than they are being asked for.
Some.people are so entitled!

Jackster11 · 15/04/2023 22:52

it’s his pension investment, so he has spent lifetime savings to buy that caravan, of which you have no entitlement, he is not profiteering think of the opportunity cost of that pension pot, he has been generous - £25 sounds cheap and has obviously done it to benefit both himself and wider family

Wiseflower · 16/04/2023 00:32

I wonder if they help with washing the bedding, cleaning toilet/kitchen - properly?
This would help enormously and the owner saves money The holiday residents save money too.
If they literally use, it and expect the owner to clean the caravan afterwards, then £25 is very fair request !

MissingMoominMamma · 16/04/2023 00:41

You’d pay that on campsites where you take your own tent!

Holly60 · 16/04/2023 06:58

My family don't have a caravan but do take us away at other times

@Boop1e so you have been letting your parents take your family (including older children) away for free AND getting a couple of weeks away per year in a caravan for free from the in-laws?

To be honest you sound incredibly entitled. Your respective parents don't owe you free holidays.

A nominal amount of £25 a night is absolutely nothing. Maybe your perspective has been skewed by the freebies in the past but most people would still think this very generous.

Your children must be looking forward to the future when you will buy a holiday home for them and their families to use free of charge whenever they want.

Holly60 · 16/04/2023 07:03

No need for you to be so rude. A set amount per night is a business contract but a voluntary contribution that's appreciated is better

@Boop1e maybe they were hoping you'd volunteer a contribution but I'm guessing you never did so they've suggested an amount that is fair?

Beenalongwinter · 16/04/2023 08:17

@Boop1e

If you don't like the £25 fee towards expenses, just say you have changed your mind and ask for the balance owed on the laptop.

You have a choice, go or don't go.

ReadersD1gest · 16/04/2023 08:59

Holly60 · 16/04/2023 07:03

No need for you to be so rude. A set amount per night is a business contract but a voluntary contribution that's appreciated is better

@Boop1e maybe they were hoping you'd volunteer a contribution but I'm guessing you never did so they've suggested an amount that is fair?

I think a set amount of £25 is better than the voluntary contribution of £10 which never even materialises that you've suggested, op.

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:03

curlywurlylover666 · 12/04/2023 21:47

I think that's very reasonable to be honest and nice of them to let you use their caravan which they have no doubt worked hard to buy.

I know I personally wouldn't charge my children if I didn't need to, but equally as a grown adult I would want to make a contribution to my stay. I wouldn't expect it for free and £25 a night is not even the cost of a takeaway really.

What is naughty is taking it out of what he owed you, if that discussion had not taken place already.

Enjoy your break away

What difference does it make to take it off what is owed or for an individual to hand money to you then hand it back? We also don't know the agreement on the original loan it could be instalments with the first one being due next month so effectively the first payment is early?

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:05

Am I the only one hoping the in-laws get to hear about this thread and decide to revisit their wills.

curlywurlylover666 · 16/04/2023 12:14

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:03

What difference does it make to take it off what is owed or for an individual to hand money to you then hand it back? We also don't know the agreement on the original loan it could be instalments with the first one being due next month so effectively the first payment is early?

Show quote history

I agree there us bo difference, hence why I said

TaLooLaBell · 16/04/2023 13:08

I would never charge my children

Northernsouloldies · 16/04/2023 15:57

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:05

Am I the only one hoping the in-laws get to hear about this thread and decide to revisit their wills.

Here's hoping.

jannier · 16/04/2023 16:15

TaLooLaBell · 16/04/2023 13:08

I would never charge my children

Why? If you had a caravan and the running costs had escalated so much would you rather just get rid of it so nobody can benefit from a really cheap holiday .....and when you walk away be stuck with the debt. Do they get even an hour's swimming for £6.25 ahead let alone 24 hours accommodation, access to entertainment, activities etc.
When there isn't a caravan a weekend at home with one outing would easily cost them £100 plus heating on top.

jannier · 16/04/2023 16:17

curlywurlylover666 · 16/04/2023 12:14

I agree there us bo difference, hence why I said

Show quote history

It sounded like you thought he was wrong to do that.....by the sound of it he had already worked out by the ops behaviour it was the only way he would get payment for the weekend.

TaLooLaBell · 16/04/2023 17:15

@jannier where has op said that they couldn't afford to run the caravan? If I couldn't have afforded it then I wouldn't have bought it, it would give me great pleasure to know my children would have a free holiday. I have a second property and I won't be charging my kids for it

Jackster11 · 16/04/2023 20:31

Would you buy a house on a private road?

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 06:33

TaLooLaBell · 16/04/2023 13:08

I would never charge my children

Why not? If it kept the caravan running, why wouldn't you?

brunettemic · 17/04/2023 07:30

It’s their caravan, if you don’t like it, don’t use and stop being so ridiculous. Failing that, grow up and talk to them.

Teatotal2 · 17/04/2023 11:15

TaLooLaBell · 16/04/2023 17:15

@jannier where has op said that they couldn't afford to run the caravan? If I couldn't have afforded it then I wouldn't have bought it, it would give me great pleasure to know my children would have a free holiday. I have a second property and I won't be charging my kids for it

That is lovely of you!
I am sure your children will appreciate that immensely but should circumstances ever change, and they no longer to be able to benefit from such a privilege, I hope they wouldn't feel so entitled to view it as an injustice worthy of posting about it and you on SM.

Stewball01 · 22/04/2023 13:38

@Shitzngiggles

I agree with you. If I could afford a caravan where I live, I wouldn't dream of charging my family to use it. We are 13 people in the family. It wouldn't occur to me.

Liorae · 22/04/2023 19:05

Stewball01 · 22/04/2023 13:38

@Shitzngiggles

I agree with you. If I could afford a caravan where I live, I wouldn't dream of charging my family to use it. We are 13 people in the family. It wouldn't occur to me.

It's always those who can't afford it who talk about their hypothetical generosity.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 22/04/2023 19:52

Liorae · 22/04/2023 19:05

It's always those who can't afford it who talk about their hypothetical generosity.

Show quote history

We can afford it and don’t charge, so it’s not ALWAYS.