Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not expect to pay excessive amount as we're family.

601 replies

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 14:15

In laws brought themselves a caravan on a haven site a year ago. Decided to spend some pension money on it.
the site fees have renewed and have gone up just like everything else in life.
They don't rent it out and we only use it as family.
Anyway father in law has just charged his own son £75 for 3 nights to use it. He owed me money for ordering him a new tablet and doing him a favour so took the money out of that which I couldn't afford to lose.

Before the season started he mentioned charging £25 a day but nothing else happened and no mention of it again before we went.

He's also charged brother in law £150 to use but they paid upfront.

Am i being unreasonable to feel this is a lot to charge your own children and £10 or so a day would be sufficient. I'm not convinced I spend £25 a day heating and lighting my 3 bed home. They get their passes included with the caravan for 10 people.

Husband won't challenge it because it won't make any difference.

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 12/04/2023 09:06

toomuchlaundry · 12/04/2023 08:59

But aren’t those offers outside school holiday times?

Poster didn't say she also wanted Easter, but I used to do the Sun deals over Easter and they just cost a few quid more pp. Easter isn't actually a great time to be in a caravan in, for example, Wales you might be surprised to hear!

Sun deals run in May and summer holidays as well.

Or pay £2k for Skegness if you prefer full price 🙄

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 09:19

IamKlaus · 11/04/2023 14:25

BOUGHT.

Seems pretty shitty to me, but families are weird. Apparently it's ok to profit off your own children for a crappy caravan that you'd be paying for either way.

I agree who charges their own kids unless it's a needs must. Doesn't sound like it is.

HauntedPencil · 12/04/2023 09:23

They should sell the caravan if they can't afford to let various family members use it for free? That's a take.

HauntedPencil · 12/04/2023 09:25

I've been away in a caravan at Easter loads and each time it's cost considerably more than the £75 it would cost for the OPs caravan. So maybe they should open it up.

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 09:28

Gandalfsdaughter · 11/04/2023 14:50

YABU - my FIL has a lovely lodge in a great UK tourist spot and we’re not allowed to use it . They want access to it at any time in case they feel like ‘driving up’.
Fair do to them but I’d happily pay £25 a night as all other accommodation is so much more to book..

What awful parents. I would not do either to my family.

EnaSharplesStout · 12/04/2023 09:29

@Boop1e My parents own a static- we pay half the site fees annually and use it for 2 weeks a year! And when we do we have to share with whoever else wants to go- family friends/siblings/my kids friends and my parents live in it so we always have to share with them.

They would be happy for us to go much more but work means we can’t.

HollyBerri · 12/04/2023 09:34

Charging you £25 per night us not profiting at all. The site fees are at least 5k per year for a Haven site so they are just recouping a tiny amount of that. Its minimal and you should be pleased with it. If they didn’t have the caravan you would never get anywhere for close to £25 per night.

EnaSharplesStout · 12/04/2023 09:38

@Boop1e so that’s £1100 per week we actually use it. They still don’t make a profit because they pay electricity/gas/insurance/maintenance/ winterising/water/fixtures and fittings.

mybeautifuloak · 12/04/2023 09:45

Yep. You are right. It would seem wrong to expect family to pay excessive amounts. £25 a day is not excessive so all is good. What's your issue?

jannier · 12/04/2023 09:53

nigelthornberry69 · 12/04/2023 01:37

So. He can charge for it if he wants. Duh. You don't have to stay there. That has been established.

But I'd question why he is doing it, if they weren't renting it anyway they aren't losing money by letting you use it. I guess they don't need the money else they wouldn't be out buying caravans. Maybe just trying to make a point? What point exactly I don't know, "things don't come for free" is a bit petty but might be what they want to say. Like, teaching the value of money is what you do to child kids not adult kids so it seems a bit heavy handed. But maybe that's what they want. Maybe they're worried about being taken advantage of (which might be a real risk idk) but in trying to defend themselves they're just coming across stingey.

I don't think they should have set off actual money that you had spent on something for them against money they had basically already spent and wasn't owed to them in the first place. Did your DH agree that was okay?

It does seem a bit petty and odd but it is still a good deal, if you can put up with the family over it. Not sure if there's more going on here. Sometimes stuff that is free or cheap but optional turns out not worth the hassle.

Did you read the post....do you think she sat in the dark with no heating and didn't run water.....because assuming she didn't the £25 barley covered the cost

redbigbananafeet · 12/04/2023 09:55

£25 a night is completely reasonable. We pay the same for using a family holiday home.

redbigbananafeet · 12/04/2023 09:57

Timeforachangeisitnot · 11/04/2023 14:21

It’s really up to the in-laws what they charge, and to whom, and then it’s up to you whether you use it or not. Still seems like a cheap holiday.

As to deducting the £75 from money he owed you, he should have discussed it all first, before you used the caravan, so you could make a decision then. So I would just refuse to order him anything in future unless you were sure you would get paid.

They did discuss it first, they told them it'd be £25 a day

toomuchlaundry · 12/04/2023 09:57

For those saying it is shitty of parents to charge a very much reduced amount to family, could it not also be said it is shitty of adults to expect a free holiday from their parents. I wonder how many of those who think the parents are in the wrong, will be willing to pay for their adult DC for evermore.

For those saying they would never charge their DC, what happens if your circumstances change, will you go without food, heating etc so you can still give your adult DC a free holiday?

Lozois99 · 12/04/2023 10:15

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:21

I think £25 a night to charge your own family is excessive. I wasn't asked to pay upfront.

And i hope you can see that 90% of people don't agree with you, so you are the one being unreasonable, not your in laws. Jesus christ, why are you so entitled!!?

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/04/2023 10:18

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 09:19

I agree who charges their own kids unless it's a needs must. Doesn't sound like it is.

Show quote history

@IamKlaus

@RoyGBivisacolorfulman

you are so right!! £25 quid a night - I don’t now what her in laws will be doing with all that cash! With profit like that the sky is the limit- maybe her FIL will treat himself to a Rolex.

Ktime · 12/04/2023 10:28

Lozois99 · 12/04/2023 10:15

And i hope you can see that 90% of people don't agree with you, so you are the one being unreasonable, not your in laws. Jesus christ, why are you so entitled!!?

Show quote history

Don’t you think PIL are also entitled though? They expect OP to do airport runs, invite them to dinner, help with letter writing, help them move house, find bargains, decorate?

And when PIL want a day out with their DGC, they expect OP to give them money for the child’s ticket and food.

They sound pretty entitled to me.

Skybluepinky · 12/04/2023 11:17

Sounds cheap to me especially as their costs have gone up so much.
If u don’t want to pay don’t go.

Derbee · 12/04/2023 12:27

I can’t believe all the dense people who are saying it costs the PIL nothing for OP to stay there, as he wasn’t renting it out to anyone anyway.

Totally ignoring the service/utility charges that the OP staying there actively increases.

If someone can afford the initial outlay for a holiday caravan/home that the whole family will be able to enjoy, it’s completely reasonable to expect everyone to cover the costs from staying there, so that everyone gets a CHEAP holiday, and the whole thing is easily sustainable

Riverlee · 12/04/2023 13:23

toomuchlaundry · 12/04/2023 09:57

For those saying it is shitty of parents to charge a very much reduced amount to family, could it not also be said it is shitty of adults to expect a free holiday from their parents. I wonder how many of those who think the parents are in the wrong, will be willing to pay for their adult DC for evermore.

For those saying they would never charge their DC, what happens if your circumstances change, will you go without food, heating etc so you can still give your adult DC a free holiday?

i agree. Not many people have pointed out that op could be considered slightly entitled/grabby to expect a free holiday.

Passthechocolatesplease · 12/04/2023 15:15

Well 90% disagree with you OP so I guess that’s says it all really.
Be thankful you have the chance of such a cheap holiday.

postapesto · 12/04/2023 15:17

Passthechocolatesplease · 12/04/2023 15:15

Well 90% disagree with you OP so I guess that’s says it all really.
Be thankful you have the chance of such a cheap holiday.

It really doesn't say it all. 90% can be in the wrong just as easily as 10% can be.

Being in the bigger group doesn't make you any more correct.

nomoredriving · 12/04/2023 15:20

@postapesto it's a voting system, 90% vote that OP is BU.

That's the point of the system.

It's not about right or wrong, it's about what people think.

You can't say my thoughts are wrong (or the other 89%), because they don't agree with you.

postapesto · 12/04/2023 15:21

nomoredriving · 12/04/2023 15:20

@postapesto it's a voting system, 90% vote that OP is BU.

That's the point of the system.

It's not about right or wrong, it's about what people think.

You can't say my thoughts are wrong (or the other 89%), because they don't agree with you.

You're not getting it. 90% can say they think OP is BU. It doesn't mean OP is actually BU though.

I haven;'t given my opinion, you don't know whether I agree with you.

nomoredriving · 12/04/2023 15:23

@postapesto in 90% of people votings opinion OP is BU.

I think anyway you look at it, that's fairly conclusive?

Winter2020 · 12/04/2023 15:50

I think it's interesting that the same people that say "If I had a caravan I would allow everyone to use it for free as that's how families work" and see themselves as hypothetically generous and the inlaws as tight begrudge paying even their own expenses.