To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

I agree with the person who recommended applying to the university hardship fund. If you tell them you may have drop out they will try to help. I assume your course will lead to a qualification that may help you find work? In that case, don't give up unless you really must. While you study, why not look for something part time? I worked as a waitress two nights a week and with tips, that paid the grocery bill. Depending where you live, hospitality jobs might not be available but summer is coming and seasonal jobs do start cropping up.

Most actually do people do realise if you choose to do everything topsy turvy by having dc before completing education and being financially secure, decide not to work and be a SAHP, then return to education it is going to be financially very tough, especially if you have to run two cars etc as well.

Two people earning £20k each brings home a more money than one earning £40k.

I don't know anyone who would have thought your decisions would have been easy, and it is nothing to do with being a "middle section" of people who struggle more. You have too adults capable of working full time and earning a living and they are not.

But, fair dues to you, you are improving your prospects and hopefully it will be worth it all in the end.

This is so true..all skewed and very unfair

Lost interest the moment the ‘that London’ comment was made. If you decide not to work and be a student, then I don’t know how you can be surprised things are harder.

@wentworthinmate I wonder if you'll still consider care work to be menial when it's you who requires care. Your attitude's disgusting.

Plenty of people in London earn joint incomes of £35000 and struggle massively- i live there and personally don’t know many people earning £85.000 joint incomes. Get mighty sick of the everyone in London is rich- it’s simply not true

Well I lived in London for many years and 85k is a lot more than many people I know earn. You can survive without feeling on poor on 85k in London unless you want to live in certain areas or have more children than you can afford.

Yes, it's worth it. I definitely wouldn't get more if I couldn't afford it but my cats make me so happy. I'd be lost without them.

Not married

Times are so tough right now across the board. We have a combined income of around £35k and it’s tight (we do qualify for some UC due to childcare costs). Last month was especially bad and we had £9 in the bank to pay for fuel nappies and electricity the week before payday😖. Since you both drive have you considered doing deliveries for takeaways ? I used to do these over a weekend and it really helped. Could you possibly look into setting up your own wee cleaning business. If it’s what you’ve done before (correct me if I’m wrong I’m sure I seen it posted somewhere). Get a wee Facebook page set up and build up locally.

My point was that this was affordable for us a few years ago and now it's not. Hence why I'm trying to find a job.

Lots of us realise and understand, but make different choices and have different outcomes. Life throws hard times and good times and times in between. We can always choose a path, but sometimes it's a difficult choice. You have two pets, and two cars and one of you is undertaking HE - these are all choices. There was a thread on here recently with two extremely high earners (over £100k each IIRC) planning on reducing their income so they could keep their free childcare hours - it seems that no matter how much you earn, it's never enough because you live up to your means when you have more.

Two cars is a necessity in some households not a luxury if you need to get to work/study it can be more expensive to use public transport or it isn’t reliable. Husband and I were only saying yesterday how when we fell on hard times we would have a budget of £5 a day that had to buy everything needed food wise for us 2dc, pets etc, we couldn’t possibly do that now with todays prices, electable gas was under or around £100 now £400, everything is so much more it is so difficult to cut back or shop around for low prices as everything everywhere is more, I hope things get easier for you x

Can I ask is this £40k earned before tax or after? Sorry if you’ve already mentioned. May not help you now but martin (money dude I forget his name) says there’s a neat thing you can do with credit cards. Instead of paying things monthly and getting charged you pop it in an interest free credit card and pay that off over the year saving a lot.

i know asda do £15 pound boxes in some areas (my friend does that and it helps her)

vinted for clothes (when needed) I love it. You get so many good things (I’m always amazed at how every parent keeps clothes in good quality and I just can’t.)

take a mortgage holiday (I think you can do 3 months no questions asked)

finally your overdrafts. If you’re getting interest in one of them (I don’t know if you’re in a student account for one and getting it interest free) what you can do is “financial restructuring” it may have a different name now. Basically call your bank explain the situation and they may convert your overdraft to a loan and you could end up paying less in interest. I did this about 10 years ago I was paying 200 in interest, did the restructuring and ended up paying 159. But I was actually paying it off.

you will find work. It will get better.

if my post didn’t help I’m sorry.

I agree op. I'd be living in a box with my cats before I got rid of them! 😅😅

No if she is indeed receiving benefits then you are subsidising her employer.

Well, people would have to be a bit stupid not to realise that there is a huge amount of people with less than £50k, seeing as it takes a 1 second google to establish that the median household income in the UK last year was £32,300 - so £50k would cover nearly 80% of the population.

to be fair OP, it doesn't seem you have a huge grasp on the average income yourself. As a household you already have a significantly higher than average income and once your DP gets his new wage, on £48k you will be in the top 25% of households in the UK yourselves (I had to make a guess at your ctax but assumed if you are a student you wouldn't pay it so went with a reduced Band D as the average).
https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in#tool-results-section

So yes, YABU to assume most people won't get it, because actually the vast majority (although maybe not on MN!) are in the same boat, or worse off!

I don't know what outgoings you could cut back on but we've been in a similar siuation for the last couple of years after the company I worked for closed in lockdown and I'd already committed to being a SAHM to 2 dc.
We went through the bank accounts and cancelled all non-essentials like magazines, extra TV subscriptions, Amazon etc.
I meal plan every week now which saves me loads on the food bill and I buy food online so it's much easier to stick to budget.
All the kids clothes except shoes, PJ's & undies are bought from vinted.
Not bought new clothes for ourselves in a couple of years.
No pets. One family car (a nice one, but we'd paid off the last one so could afford it) No expensive days out unless we save Tesco vouchers etc for them.
Zoo passes etc are bought as birthday presents by family.
I do online surveys to top up by £30-£40 a month and enter every competition I'd be happy to win.
I sell everything the kids have outgrown to go towards what they need.
We grow our own veg in the summer and use the hob rather than oven to cook where we can.
I've also just restarted a small ebay business which only earns me a few hundred a month if that, but I do use the cashflow to borrow from if needed, as it's now regular enough that I know it'll be topped up in the next couple of days.
Our total income is c.50k and our mortgage & council tax payments come to £1350 a month. I drive as little as possible and always shop around for the best deals.
There are loads of great threads on here about ways to cut back or make a little extra, even if you think you can't, and MoneySavingExpert has some really good suggestions and a great budget planner.

Totally! 😄😂

Partner earns 30k before tax. I get a 9k student maintenance loan so there's not tax on that.

Thanks for the advice. Definitely going to look into a mortgage Holiday :)

Just be very careful with a mortgage holiday and only use it as the very last resort.

Yeah, I'm sure we had one during the pandemic and they asked so many questions. If I can avoid it I definitely will. Still waiting to hear on a couple of jobs I applied for so hopefully I'll get lucky with one of those!

2 cats … 2 cars … sorry but seriously … some people have to use shank’s pony and eat their cats !!!

You’re down to your last £5 and you say your cats are worth it. How on earth??