To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

Well said, Jassy!

I think what people don't understand is how much money has depreciated as everything seems double the price of yesteryear.

We are a 2a 2c family and ten years ago I earned 32k and my hubby 23k. We did fine, ate what we liked, holiday most years, even paid for a 12k wedding in 2015. I replaced my wardrobe constantly and was always buying shite I didn't need

Now I'm on 54k and he's on 28k and I feel guilty shopping at tesco rather than aldi and I'm trying not to buy any new clothes this year and if I do it's sales only.

Not what I would have expected in my 40s mud career

Wtf happened?

This is a fascinating thread. We’re struggling on about £90k a year household income in the SE. Two adults, a baby and a toddler. I truly loathe my full time job but have to stick with it for nursery and mortgage reasons. It does feel like a race to the bottom and makes me sad.

It's tough at the moment, yes but hard to know
your personal full ins and outs without knowing what your outgoings are and if anything has changed in that time.

However for your London comment YABU. 85k in London, with a medium sized family, is a struggle. You're looking at around £200k+ to be OK in "inner" London. By inner, I don't mean Zone 1, you'd need a much higher salary to live in Zone 1. I'd say zones 2-3 or 4.
It's not just the rents that are higher. It's nursery fees, school clubs, birthday parties, restaurants, the list is endless. Anything that can be more expensive, generally is.
As an example, a Sunday roast in my local pubs is anything between £18-30 per person. This is for the roast alone.

As an example, a Sunday roast in my local pubs is anything between £18-30 per person. This is for the roast alone.

I live in the North West and that's fairly standard for a decent roast.

Either/both of you can get evening job/s - there are plenty available.

It’s all relative. YABU

If you aren't working, have you transferred your tax free allowance to your husband?

www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

However for your London comment YABU. 85k in London, with a medium sized family, is a struggle. You're looking at around £200k+ to be OK in "inner" London. By inner, I don't mean Zone 1, you'd need a much higher salary to live in Zone 1. I'd say zones 2-3 or 4.
It's not just the rents that are higher. It's nursery fees, school clubs, birthday parties, restaurants, the list is endless. Anything that can be more expensive, generally is.

The residential part of zone 3 here, and agree to some degree, though I would say you can be OK on c120k quite easily. That said, we don't live in a super glam part.

It depends when you got on the housing ladder too

Me too because we don’t have mortgage or rent but our rates and bills are high and we would definitely struggle on £22000 before tax .

Agree with this, OP has chosen not to work and then to study and thinks they shouldn’t financially struggle…
OP- YABU, what is it you expect exactly?

I often see people that are struggling that have pets... I know there is nothing you can do about them now but they must cost you a bit per month. Is it worth it? Don't plan on getting any more after if it's not.

If you live in the South East the price differential in some areas is the same as London property wise. The point is property and rents are much higher in the SE. If i were you i would aim for any job that pays £15k or similar…you will still be much better off.

It’s all well and good people saying ‘well, there are loads of vacancies where I live’, the op has said she is in an area with low turnover and lots of applicants and is trying to find work. Op, keep looking and apply for anything and everything. Sell old bits and bobs on facebook/vinted. Look for reduced food in supermarkets. Can your dp ask for an advance on his salary for this month? Some workplaces allow this. You can get through this part, you will be ok. Soon your husband’s salary increase will start and you will be bringing in some money yourself. Better times ahead. It’s a shame people try to drag others down and race to the bottom - ‘look at me, I live off a 2p salary!’. Other people suffering are not the enemy and this is not a competition.

Two cars for example is for the vast majority of households a luxury.

Well if you live outside London and actually want to be able to get to work it’s a necessity.

This is where all the ‘poor Londoners’ stuff is properly grating, they can just use very cheap public transport, the rest of us cannot. It costs £££ if it exists at all.

@Flubadubba restaurants are not more expensive either.

I don't think yabu , no. But if you are struggling on 40k & the benefit cap is 26k (to play devil's advocate) imagine how much the people below you are struggling. I work full time, witn a disabled husband who can't work & he gets no help in terms of disablity benefits. I have a son with sen , and additional needs (adhd/depression) despite being intelligent this holds me back slightly though i often do extra work on top of my full time hours in casual jobs...i can only do so much. I do sympathise. Some immediate advice maybe :
-do u have any forgotten nectar /clubcard /other loyalty points that could help with food etc or other costs (even if not v much ...)
-do u have anyone that could help you re food /loan u money temporarily eg relatives /friends ?
-foodbank?/ Help for households grant that has gone out recently ?
-can u get child benefit paid weekly? I did. Pleaded poverty (it was true and we were both full time workers then) but it helped...
-can u grow ur own food to help cut costs ?
-could u join mse and look at the guide for making extra dosh on there ? Valued opinions has helped me over years...but it isnt instant. Also food coupons are on there too...
-are u getting all the benefits u r entitled too ? Turn to us has a good guide on there re benefit checker....
Erm ...i have written a lot and its all advice i would give a friend & i am so tired but i hope it helps.

Ps if u married theres a marriage tax levy guide on mse but i am not so dunno full details...

I didn’t see it mentioned anywhere but you said 20k would replace the loan and give you some left over, as far as I remember you will still receive the loan next year if you’re working, the student’s income won’t be taken into account while you are still studying, just your partners.

The £2 single bus scheme is running until June in England.

If you live elsewhere in the UK bus passes can be bought weekly or monthly.
Some NHS trusts also doing a 30% discount.
Not sure how it is more expensive than buying, taxing, insuring and fuelling a car?

I get the feeling everyone thinks they are hard done. Either paying too much tax or not getting enough help. At the end of the day, we can't change the system. We can only try and improve our situation or find away to make it work. I live on very little by being extremely frugal, plan for everything and budget. I stay in a small property in a rubbish area and never buy anything new. I don't have holidays or even haircuts. I don't feel deprived because they are people in the world that don't eat from one day to another. I know some people might already do this, but there is no point being resentful of others, of what they have or get. There some people don't have a home at all. We need to be proactive in changing what doesn't work and when we can put more focus on this we can move forward.

get rid of one of the cars for a start.

what are your quals and what sort of job are you looking for?

Have you checked re benefits...as a lot of people are eligible to UC and don't know. Double check figures on entitled2.org..Google the address as its something like that..

What dont you think people realise?