Friend cancelled holiday last minute..

[Sortyourlifeout]

Hi all.

I've been let down AGAIN. I genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable here.

Meant to be going to the Lake District with a friend tomorrow, for 2 nights. Apartment booked and paid for; was waiting for friends half of payment.

She sent a text yesterday morning saying that she has a family commitment that she can't get out of so she's not coming. She asked for my bank details and has sent money to cover the apartment (including my half). Obviously I'm really very upset.

AIBU to go anyway?

I am genuinely baffled as to why you can’t understand this.. The friend has paid for the full cost, OP has asked if she should pay half, i.e. her own share. I think if she decided to go alone, then yes she should pay her half of the apartment.

I'd definitely go.

I think I would return her half of the accommodation - maybe less what she would have contributed to shared costs like fuel if you were going together.

It sounds like she could be in an abusive relationship. A husband who doesn't like his wife having a friend who she goes away with?

Go and have a good time!

I wouldn't think anymore of it, just let it go. Concentrate on enjoying yourself.

Definitely go on your own, it'll be lovely to spend time up there on your own just pleasing yourself.

It is really shitty and although you won't have the same experience you had planned for, what would you do if you stayed at home? I say go and enjoy it even if you are alone. It's a free holiday and better than staying home.

She asked for my bank details and has sent money to cover the apartment (including my half).

Ouch, I'm guilty of skim-reading this & getting it wrong.
OP, however it works out, make sure you end up only paying for your own agreed 50%.

I've been let down AGAIN.
So this isn't the first time this has happened? is it the same friend letting you down every time?

if so, definitely keep the money, definitely go and enjoy. Don't ever make arrangements with her again.

Don’t give her half the money back and rethink the friendship. She’s a bitch to let her DP/H dictate what to do on her life.

I had a best friend ditch me for her on/off other half for a longer holiday abroad because he wanted to come instead of me, long story but turned out to be the end of the friendship as I saw her true colours. There had been a couple of other major/minor issues too with our friendship. I made her pay back my deposit ASAP and wasn’t happy at all.

I'll be just outside Penrith x

I would absolutely go, but if you do I think you should return 50% of the total she's paid you. She pays for her half, you pay for your half.

That's unpleasant for you, & potentially a concern about her.

But it's a separate issue.

Have your holiday, pay for just 50% of it, & find out what support she might need when you get back.

I understand that you are upset. I would be too.

But I think the fact that she paid for everything shows that she is not a mean person but genuinely sorry and that she has an actual family commitment and isn't just trying to be cheeky or play with your emotions.

Go and have a nice holiday!

Just because she paid in full doesn’t mean she can afford to, she was waiting for her friends half

Am a bit surprised at the posters saying you shouldn’t give half the money back. If you’re going then absolutely you give half the money back. You’re not out of pocket, you’re going on the holiday that you’ve paid for. To hold on to the full amount of the holiday for both of you and go as well would be CF behaviour in the extreme.

The reading comprehension is very low on this thread. 🙄

Yes OP initially paid, but then the friend transferred over the full cost. So currently the friend is the one that has shouldered the full cost of the trip.

If OP decides she doesn’t want to go alone, then yes of course friend should pay in full. But if OP decided to go alone, the decent thing to do would be for OP to pay her half.

And actually I would be quite concerned about this friend based on what OP said about her husband. I don’t think the friend is being flakey here.

Is this something we should be worried about?

Yes, go and really have a lovely time. Give her your half of the costs back.

Sorry, must be really upsetting to get let down like this.

No. She left you in the lurch. Enjoy the holiday on your own

Agreed, it’s taken another person out of the equation. I wouldn’t like to be left to go on a holiday by myself unless I’d planned it in advance.

The friend knows she’s been shitty so is giving OP her share.

If you’re into spa days and a hotel there has an offer on for that, or when you return then use that money for yourself!

Keep the money and go and enjoy the break. The Lakes are lovely.

Don’t you dare, OP!

Spend the extra money treating yourself.

If it were me, and if I still went alone, I'd give her half of the money back.

I think you need to find out if your friend is in an abusive relationship, OP. Maybe she needs some support to get away from him.

The reading comprehension is very low on this thread. 🙄

Isn't it just?
I'd already posted a correction & apology for getting it wrong.

That just sends the message that you want to keep being a doormat.