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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents shouldnt send their children valentines cards/gifts...

129 replies

Dabbles · 14/02/2008 15:39

Urgh...

Just dont get it.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 14/02/2008 19:19

I agree with JV that the people who find it weird are clearly weird

weirdies

morningpaper · 14/02/2008 19:20

children are in bed now

beautifuldays · 14/02/2008 19:34

my dad always used to send me a valentine when i was a kid, always signed from ? but i knew it was him.

it was lovely, and he stopped doing it by the time i was old enough to get embarrased by it - about 14 or so i suppose. i think it's sweet, i don't get my kids anything cos they're too little, prob will when they're a bit bigger, but ds has been wandering round all day saying 'happy valentines day mummy'

bluenosesaint · 14/02/2008 20:40

I don't get it either ...it doesn't bother me, i just don't get it

Saying that, dh and I don't 'do' Valentines day so its no surprise really ...

Another one that bugs me is when husbands send their wives cards and gifts for Mothers Day (??) WTF is that about? But thats a whole other thread isn't it?

Rhubarb · 14/02/2008 22:32

Well I think that those who don't think it's weird are weird!

I don't care what other people do, I just have an opinion on it, like with most other Mumsnet matters. I might not care if someone breastfeeds their baby or not, but I do have an opinion that I can express.

I don't care if your kids get cards from other kids, or even if they want to make you a card. I just find the idea of parents sending their kids Valentines cards a bit odd. If it was supposedly from some secret admirer then fair enough, but obviously from mummy or daddy then it's just that, odd.

I don't do Valentines Day either. I know we can bypass the commercialism and make our own cards etc, but why would I want to declare my love for dh on a day when everyone else is doing the same? We have our wedding anniversary, that's our special day, and we don't share that with quite so many people.

So you see, I don't really care what you do, but I am entitled to think you all weird for doing so!

CountessDracula · 14/02/2008 22:34

oh god

dd (5) threw a wobbler tonight because i had bought dh a pressie and card and not her

I said you are not my husband! Why would I buy you a valentine's day card?

She was most unreasonalbe and bellowed "you are supposed to give your LOVE" so I can see in a way what she is on about

However I explained that would be like me giving her a mothers' day card

I HOPE that has knocked it on the head

mm22bys · 14/02/2008 22:37

DS1 made a card and little basket (for a biscuit they made today) at nursery. That's cute...and it's half term this week so I guess they have to do something to fill in their time!

Kids (or rather the other parent) buying their parents cards from a shop is completely unnecessary, is a waste of money, and is just for the owners of the card companies....

Who needs Valentine's Day, really? Same as all the other "days"? To quote my grandmother, why don't we love / show we love each other every day? The jewellery / champagnge /flowers/ cards are lovely, guess some of us just need a prompt or reason (or commercially-driven guilt-trip) to prompt us...

booge · 14/02/2008 22:43

Sending cards to your children or getting them from them, that's just wrong.

jenk1 · 15/02/2008 08:16

ds and dd both got cards for each other and got each other a chocolate heart lollipop.

dd made me a valentines card at nursery and some heart shaped biscuits.

i think its a nice way to show someone you love that they are special, it seems to be evolving into today where families can show love to one another which has to be a good thing in this day and age.

Pitchounette · 15/02/2008 08:45

Message withdrawn

thelittlestbadger · 15/02/2008 08:57

When I was little, we used to carefully make valentines cards for my mum and dad at primary school with red crayon coloured hearts and cut up bits of doily(sp?). It was fun making them and they obviously meant something to my mum as I found this whole drawer of homemade valentines and Christmas cards recently. If DD wants to do something like that when she is bigger then fine, although I don't think I'd send her a card unless it is clearly from me and DH and so that she can go into school boasting about how she has one.

I don't think there is anything wrong with putting a bit of extra effort into telling your loved ones that you love them though.

2bulletsformyvalentine · 15/02/2008 09:09

but you have mothers/fathers day. birthdays,easter and christmas.
I just think it is nice for the grown up for once to have a day that doesn't revolve around their dc's.

sleepycat · 15/02/2008 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepycat · 15/02/2008 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brimfull · 15/02/2008 09:22

I think it's weird.But actually don't really give a toss.

davidsatthebar · 15/02/2008 09:25

I make a special dinner for my family an d my girls make decorations and dress up.

To each his own.

casbie · 15/02/2008 11:43

i think it's weird sending your sons/daughters a valentines card, especially as 'they might not get one' from a school-friend or whatever!

why?

does it stop them being envious of the local tart? or get in the way of a 'true' romance, that you don't know of? or does it mean they can then 'lord it' over their friends who haven't got a card?

honestly, my dd is only 7, but there's no way i'd get involved in her 'love-life'... she knows she is loved by us, every birthday, every dinnertime, everytime she falls over!

she wants to send a card to her friend, but i don't think she even anticipates one back!

maybe it's just over-protective parents who do this?

bettybeetroot · 15/02/2008 12:23

Dh and i never exchange cards (I've always thought it very tacky) Some people do seem to take this all a bit seriously. The only time I ever recieved cards was when I was at school (obviously not from lovers!) and from my dd who made me and dh a lovely card at school this week. That was my first card in about 15 years. So when dd got home from school yesterday I had a heart shaped chocolate lolly waiting for her and also a little handmade card from me. I think the people who think this is wierd are a bit wierd tbh. It's no big deal. I'd rather get a card from my dd than from my dh as it's just an innocent gesture from dd. I get spoilt by dh all the time regardless of valentines day. Anyway, there are no rules are there? I'm an athiest and 'celebrate' Christmas and Easter.

Manictigger · 15/02/2008 12:33

My dad has sent me and my sister valentine cards for as long as I can remember (well, since we were about 10) because he didn't want us to get none (perhaps he's over-protective perhaps he's just a lovely thoughtful dad) and now we both always send him one as well. They're always anonymous and jokey and we all deny sending them to each other. It's just a lovely family tradition.

I can't be doing with all the fake romantic stuff on valentine's day and me and dh never give each other presents or do anything special but I guess it depends on how you view the day. If you see it as a sexy romantic day (with full-on gimp suit thrown in) than I guess involving children would seem inappropriate. If like me you think it's just a bit of fun with absolutely no sexual connotations then what's the problem?

If the children are really young and have no concept of valentine's day then I agree, what's the point but once they're older and want to join in I don't see the problem. If your dc came home from nursery etc. with a card or present that they'd made for daddy, would you really say 'no I'm sorry, you can't give it to him because it's weird. Valentine's day is for adults only'.

casbie · 15/02/2008 13:12

no - i would say that's a bit weird because you should have sent the card to your sweetheart!

btw, most kids know what girl-friend/boy-friend means!

Saint Valentine's Day is about lover's love, romantic love. It certainly ain't about loving your child or them loving you (Mother's Day/Father's Day/Christmas/Birthdays seem more appropriate!).

mum2sons · 15/02/2008 16:11

My Dad sends us 3 girls a valentines card every year and we all send him one (all in our 30`s!) I have 3 sons and gave them all a card (even 3 week old baby!) and I got one from each of my DS's as well as DH (although all written by DH). I think it is about love and i will always send my boys one even when they are old marrieds!

mum2sons · 15/02/2008 16:17

p.s I don't think I am weird! I also am a v soppy mum and do tell my DCs that I love them and not just on Valentines day! I think because my Dad always sends us one that I like to do the same

casbie · 15/02/2008 16:34

and if you didn't, would you feel bad?

the commerical pressure to buy something is very difficult to ignore, but why involve kids in that pressure. will they 'have' to send you a card - otherwise it might them feel bad?

still think that sending your own children valentine's cards is weird!

DarthVader · 15/02/2008 16:45

OK, if you want to insist Valentine's Day is purely about romantic love between adults, then good luck to you.

In my house it's an excuse for a fun day themed around love, hearts and laughter. My dd gets heart themed gifts and I send her a valentine with a rhyme I write myself to make her laugh. Dp cooks us all a gorgeous dinner and all of us receive chocolates. Dd and her boyf send each other cards and gifts.

If this isn't "following the rules" it isn't exactly causing anyone else any harm and we are very happy with it. If you want to call me weird then good luck to you!

luminarphrases · 15/02/2008 16:49

my dh saw one for a dog. that was a bit weird

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