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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents shouldnt send their children valentines cards/gifts...

129 replies

Dabbles · 14/02/2008 15:39

Urgh...

Just dont get it.

OP posts:
Remotew · 14/02/2008 18:33

I remember my two friends who were twins always received flowers, chocs, teddies etc from secret admirers when they were in their twenties and boyfriendless. We couldnt understand this. When they did meet partners the secred admirers dissapeared so I guess it was mum and dad. Still it cheered them up but I'd never to that to my DD. I did send her a text saying happy valentines as she's in France.

RubberDuck · 14/02/2008 18:37

Re: commercialism - surely it's as commercial as you make it? Ours is slightly commercial atm, but have plans to take a bit more care about making stuff once ds2 is school age too (as I'm going to have ALL this extra time in the day... don't disillusion me ), but fundamentally for us it's to think about the other person and do something nice/special.

Yes, my kids know that their little gift is from me, just as I know that the badly cut out tissue paper hearts stuck on a slighty squiffy red card and scribbled over in crayon is from ds2.

We do stuff on other days too to make the year a bit more special, like pancake day, for example.

We don't do Lent. I have no intention of having that any part of our family rituals at all. A great many people do, though. Do I think them weirdy? No. Would I stop either of the dses giving up something for Lent if they spontaneously chose to? No.

I honestly do think it's really weird to be so wrapped up in what somebody else celebrates in their family. I also find it really sad that Oblomov is questioning her beautiful card made for her by ds.

It's the same with Christmas. You know, if you hate it and think it's over commercialised and don't want to participate... fine. Just don't piss on everyone else's parade.

wildwoman · 14/02/2008 18:38

what rubberduck said

RubberDuck · 14/02/2008 18:41

Oh and February is a bloody miserable time of year... I takes all the celebratin' I can get

wildwoman · 14/02/2008 18:42

We made pancakes and we don't go to church...I am a commercial whore!

JeremyVile · 14/02/2008 18:44

Valentines day is just a load of old trollocks, but putting that to one side for now, it can be about the people/ person you love and choosing to make an extra effort on this day to express your feelings or it can be about plastic, glittery handcuffs and banoffee pie flavour lube.

If, for you, it is the latter - then I can see why you would be uncomfortable involving your dcs in the whole valentines hoo-ha.

Twiglett · 14/02/2008 18:45

agree with thread title

wildwoman · 14/02/2008 18:45

where can I get bannoffe pie flavoured lube?

ALMummy · 14/02/2008 18:47

Who cares? As long as they dont ask you to send your kids one?

stoppinattwo · 14/02/2008 18:47

I made my DC's one each from their secret admirers. they thought it was hilarious, It made DD's day, she thought it was very romantic

expatinscotland · 14/02/2008 18:51

DD1 gave Valentines to everyone in the class and a bag of Mars fun-sized.

So neeerrr.

The absolutely lovely wee boy whose father owns and runs the garage who who is having chemo again - the boy - for his leukemia gave DD1 a Valentine, and she him.

Their daddy gave each girl a bar of chocolate and a wee box from the grandparents in teh UK.

I had my V-day decs are out and we are enjoying the day.

BAh humbug, all you killjoys .

expatinscotland · 14/02/2008 18:51

DD1 gave Valentines to everyone in the class and a bag of Mars fun-sized.

So neeerrr.

The absolutely lovely wee boy whose father owns and runs the garage who who is having chemo again - the boy - for his leukemia gave DD1 a Valentine, and she him.

Their daddy gave each girl a bar of chocolate and a wee box from the grandparents in teh UK.

I had my V-day decs are out and we are enjoying the day.

BAh humbug, all you killjoys .

expatinscotland · 14/02/2008 18:52

Oh, the cards DD1 took in were designed by child patients at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas.

morningpaper · 14/02/2008 18:53

blimey you lot are all a bit SERIOUS about this

It's just fun

My dd's made cards at school and nursery which were SWEET and biscuits and school - and me and DH bought them two big fluffy Valentine's teddies to surprise them when they came in this evening

It's just an excuse for a bit of a love-in - I don't think it has to be specifically about sexual love - yes it is ESSENTIALLY about that, but why not include the children as well? It's just a bit of niceness before they go to bed and you get out the gimp suit

Twiglett · 14/02/2008 18:54
wildwoman · 14/02/2008 18:54

rofl I think dp would rock the gimp look

Cam · 14/02/2008 18:55

My dd thinks its about love, don't think she discerns between kinds of love (yet)

Anyway she doesn't like being left out

ALMummy · 14/02/2008 18:56

Agree with morning paper.

Personally DH and I do and are quite happy about it. We all get a card and all feel special and DS brought me his very first bunch of flowers for me today - helped by DH - and I was chuffed to bits.

morningpaper · 14/02/2008 18:57

That's a very good point cam - little children don't DISCERN the different kinds of love

So why not include them at a level that they can understand? It's just ... NICE

expatinscotland · 14/02/2008 18:58

It's a bit of fun!

She's 4.

She's a very immature 4, too, with delays.

It's a bit of magic in this cold, dark and isolated place. Her class loved it!

It's one day for some fun and so where's the harm in it.

MrsCarrot · 14/02/2008 19:01

It is a tradition in Norfolk though I've never done it. I know lots of people who do.

"it is unclear when this mystery figure first emerged but children are as likely as adults to receive a visit. During the early 20th century, youngsters would probably be given an offering bought from the village shop while lovers would be more generous.

Although little is known about the history of Jack Valentine, it is a popular custom. We have even had an e-mail from a Norfolk expatriate living in America who says she plans to continue the tradition for her eight-year-old daughter. If you know more about this Norfolk ritual then send us an e-mail.

In the 1800s, Norfolk children would set out before dawn to sing rhymes in exchange for sweets, cakes and pennies. One favourite local verse was:
small rose

Good morrow, Valentine,
God bless the baker,
You'll be the giver,
And I'll be the taker.

Once it was light, their requests could be turned down because they were said to be sunburnt.

Local customs"

Spink · 14/02/2008 19:02

my parents sent me valentines cards when I was at Uni. Had to pick up my post from the porter's office. From home I would get one from ma, pa and the cat. I think the porter knew, the little smirker. You know, they have that kind of parent-handwriting....

but I do like the idea some people have written about - that it can be a day about love, and special people. Especially if it isn't about buying stuff but making some kind of token of that love...
feel a bit warm and fluffy at my parents now, and not so

BarcodeZebra · 14/02/2008 19:07

I agree with Dabbles.

It's weird.

wildwoman · 14/02/2008 19:08

ok

madamez · 14/02/2008 19:11

We made valentine cards at P&T today. As we were meeting my parents for lunch I said to DS that he could make a picture for Nana and Grandad. And then pointed out to the rest of the group that if you stick on a heart upside down it looks a lot like an arse, doesn;t it?
But I don't see why people shouldn;t make it a bit of fun for their DC if they want to. Little 'ritual' days are no bad thing for DC as they help to demonstrate the passing of time and the cycles of the year - it just doesn;t do to take them too seriously.