To be offended by friends comment

[yellowbricklane]

Hello,

For the past couple of years, I have been considering getting a family dog and have looked across many dog rescue shelters and gone through the appropriate verifications. I have fallen in love with a French bulldog and currently going through the process in getting the dog into our home. I told a very good friend of mine, who has always known that I've always wanted a dog (since growing up with them during childhood) and has been supportive. But she disapproves of our chosen dog. She said the following "I don't regard French bulldogs as proper dogs, they are more like designer handbags. I have never seen one run around or behave like normal dogs do. They are quite pretty to look at but that's all they are. A walking deformed handbag . If that's what your after- go ahead and add it to your bag collection. But if you want a normal dog then I suggest you look elsewhere".

I find her comment very offensive. She has always been blunt, which I love her for and she is the only friend that tells me how it is. I honestly did not understand what she was trying to imply with her comment. At times, I feel like she drains on my happiness, any good things or opportunities that come my way she always puts a downer. How should
I respond? I didn't say anything when she said, but I want to tell how I truly feel. What do you all think

Well is it true? Do they behave like normal dogs, playing and stuff?

I think she was lying about the pretty part though🤔.

Do you agree with her or not? If not, does it matter what she says?

There are concerns with over-breeding of French Bulldogs and it's a fair point that some people regard them as a fashion accessory. But you're getting a rescue dog - one that needs a home - and you have researched your choice of dog, so your friend is directing her ire at the wrong person.

I would suggest responding that the dog needs a home that you are going to give, and that you'll be meeting its needs and encouraging its natural canine behaviour as much as you can. If she doesn't like it, tough on her.

What’s so offensive?
French Bulldogs d9 have deformed airways due to over breeding

I would reply something like, oh, definitely not the right dog for you then! I can't wait though.

I wouldn't put it like your friend has at all and find the comparison ott but she has a point. I believe the breeding of French bulldogs should be totally overhauled, its utterly cruel to the poor creatures and I think anyone who opts to get a puppy Frenchie is contributing to - and continuing- the cruelty.

The breeding is only done because of aesthetic trends hence where her comments of designer handbags come in.

I'm sorry, but I actually find the continued breeding of these dogs with their dreadful disabilities offensive.

Well they do have breathing problems and vets do not condone breeding, so she's not wrong really.

I imagine that your friend is referring to the fact that French Bulldogs have short noses and this causes breathing issues and health problems in the breed. There is a reasonable amount of stigma around flat-nosed breeds but your friend was unreasonable to be so rude and obnoxious about your choice.

Great that you’re adopting, but I sincerely hope you’ve done your research and know what problems you’re potentially taking on.

Apologies, I'm so tired and misread your post - of course you're getting a rescue so no judgement. In your shoes I would agree with the sentiments but point out that you're giving a loving home to a rescue dog.

Blimey, did she really say all that ? I agree that they are overbred but at least you're rescuing one which is a good thing.

You are rescuing a dog. That's very different to supporting the over breeding of French bulldogs. As long as you know the potential difficulties your dog will face you are going to be fine. Well done for giving a dog a home.

I have a Frenchie,she runs - seriously fast, she plays with kids and other dogs. She has a long nose, so she doesn't snort like most. No breathing problems.she is a wee bit stubborn though and she has no concept of personal space but she has hasn't had any health issues so far and she's 3.5 years old. There are a few rescue places on Facebook. She's a great family pet. I would have another but I'd be really careful about choosing one with a decent nose! They are all graded by the kennel club I believe.

Frenchie mum here! Also a foster family for a frenchie rescue.
I love the breed, they have personalities like no other but SOME of them do have significant health concerns.
Our adopted frenchie, is very very healthy, he’s super fit and can walk / run for miles. He’s only ever been to the vets for his vaccines and to get the snip. They also common on how healthy he is.
Some of the foster dogs we’ve had are not so fortunate. Usually due to poor and / or over breeding.
As long as you’ve done your research and you’re prepared they are very rewarding dogs.
Well done for going down the rescue route. So many of them needing homes.

You may not have him long and prepare for vets bills. New Scientist gives their life span as under 5 years.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2318084-french-bulldogs-are-the-shortest-lived-dog-breed-in-the-uk/

Agree.

She's not wrong, really.

Her points about the issues with the breed are correct.
And although you are rescuing the dog, maybe she thinks you having one promotes the breeding of them?
Poor dog can't win.

I am inclined to agree with her.
However my good friends and I can disagree about stuff and still be friends.
If you really think she is wrong, then why didn't you laugh at what she said at the time, or challenge it with whatever argument you think is right at the time?

I don't understand people who can't just talk to their friends, but who come on here to ask what they should say, when it is supposed to be to someone really close to them - sometimes a sibling, but in this case a long standing friend . This isn't a situation where you would want to think carefully about how to phrase something - perhaps if you were new in a job or something. It is a long standing friend who you have noted is straight talking / say what she thinks sort of a person. So why don't you say what you think when replying to her ?

Have to say, her comments are pretty spot-on, even if you don’t like them. Would you not rather be very clear what you’re asking on before you choose this breed to rescue? You will certainly need to make sure you have very good insurance, which won’t be cheap.

(The thing I find interesting is that dogs don’t even seem to recognise French Bulldogs as dogs - very odd.)

I think this is due to how many die young that brings the average age right down. If they have got past the first year or two. Then they are likely to live to 7-9.

I kind of agree with her although no need for her to be quite so blunt if you've already made the decision to adopt this specific dog

I have a few friends born without any notion of tact and never learnt it either.

I mean a lot of her points aren't wrong re the breed, even if she phrased it badly.

I wouldn't take offence because my blunt friends are as offensive as they sound. I know what they mean and I value their honesty. I'm also comfortable telling them to wind their neck in or teasing them about their lack of tact - or better their incredibly clumsy attempts at it (which are often hilarious in the ineptitude.)

Enjoy your new dog!

She’s right, but if it’s a rescue dog you aren’t doing anything wrong. Pointless being so offended when she’s right about the breed though.

They're overbred dogs with physical deformities that will result in a pretty short life span.
But you're taking on a rescue so it's one less animal whiling it's life away in kennels and I hope you enjoy your dog and have a lovely time together.
I think your friend is actually pretty unkind to say this to you in this way though. If it's a pattern then maybe the next time it happens, pause and reflect it back - why does she think that? Say you're happy with the decision and would prefer her either to support your choices or keep her negative views to herself..

I think the 'handbag' comment is rude, as it is suggesting that she thinks you are getting a dog as an accessory, not that she feels that the breed itself is problematic.

My daughter has one, and as others have said, he has a lovely personality and is a great pet. He has had spinal problems however, and her insurance premiums are £130 a month after a corrective operation saved him.

I understand you're being annoyed by your friend's comment, and would ask her how you have given her reason to make such an assumption about your reason to get a dog. If you just want a 'designer' dog, there are more appropriate breed with far fewer probable issues than a Frenchie.

She is right about the breed, but you are rescuing the dog so her comments were rude.

Please make sure you do your research on this breed though.