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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be offended by friends comment

118 replies

yellowbricklane · 09/04/2023 17:49

Hello,

For the past couple of years, I have been considering getting a family dog and have looked across many dog rescue shelters and gone through the appropriate verifications. I have fallen in love with a French bulldog and currently going through the process in getting the dog into our home. I told a very good friend of mine, who has always known that I've always wanted a dog (since growing up with them during childhood) and has been supportive. But she disapproves of our chosen dog. She said the following "I don't regard French bulldogs as proper dogs, they are more like designer handbags. I have never seen one run around or behave like normal dogs do. They are quite pretty to look at but that's all they are. A walking deformed handbag Confused. If that's what your after- go ahead and add it to your bag collection. But if you want a normal dog then I suggest you look elsewhere".

I find her comment very offensive. She has always been blunt, which I love her for and she is the only friend that tells me how it is. I honestly did not understand what she was trying to imply with her comment. At times, I feel like she drains on my happiness, any good things or opportunities that come my way she always puts a downer. How should
I respond? I didn't say anything when she said, but I want to tell how I truly feel. What do you all think

OP posts:
SardineStitches · 09/04/2023 20:21

You can be as offended as you want but Frenchies are riddled with health problems

And you can make up whatever shit you want doesn't mean it's accurate.. So clueless but you do you.

SardineStitches · 09/04/2023 20:23

Are they the breed that looks as though it's walked into a bollard?

No more than I'm sure you do.

Most of these comments highlight why dogs are better people.

choccytime · 09/04/2023 20:30

She s right dont get it, if people stopped buying these poor dogs maybe there might be an end to the awful suffering they have to endure . Theres plenty of other breeds you could consider

Atethehalloweenchocs · 09/04/2023 20:35

As well as their health problems they are notoriously hard to train. So she is not wrong, but perhaps not tactful.

ActDottie · 09/04/2023 20:36

I wouldn’t want one personally, but if you’ve found one in need of a home and you’re happy with your choice then go for it. The little one is alive and needing a home regardless of what others think.

Mincedpies · 09/04/2023 20:46

SardineStitches · 09/04/2023 20:21

You can be as offended as you want but Frenchies are riddled with health problems

And you can make up whatever shit you want doesn't mean it's accurate.. So clueless but you do you.

Absolutely zero reason to be so rude. I’m 100% certain you wouldn’t talk to me like that in person so stop with the bravery that comes from sitting behind a keyboard thinking you’re sounding clever.

Do your research. Frenchies are riddled with health problems. The only person being clueless is, sadly, you,

mbosnz · 09/04/2023 20:50

Frenchies are riddled with health problems. Please do not get one if you are on a budget.

Grumpusaurus · 09/04/2023 20:52

She is absolutely right so!

VintageThoughts · 09/04/2023 20:57

Your friend is talking nonsense.

They're not remotely pretty.

Buildingthefuture · 09/04/2023 21:11

She sounds horrid. And no, she is not correct in her assessment. You aren’t “buying a designer handbag” you are giving a home to a dog who needs one. Which frankly, is more than most people bother to do. Brachycephalic breeds are in the spotlight at the minute but the fact is, a lot of dogs have massive breeding issues (Daxies, GSD, Cavaliers to name just a few, the list is endless) and all the while people keep buying puppies, and the Kennel Club continue to be utterly useless, those issues will continue. What would she prefer you to do? Leave the dog in a shelter? I would never buy a Frenchie but I would adopt one and providing you’ve done your research and know what you are taking on, then go for it. And tell her to mind her manners!

xsquared · 09/04/2023 21:18

A French Bulldog is a brachycephic breed, so they are more likely to suffer from medical conditions because of restricted ability to breathe.

I am with your friend, they are more like a fashion accessory, bred for their appearance. Up to you of course.

Have you posted about this before?

shutthewindownow · 09/04/2023 21:21

I do think this breed of dog is cruel and breeding needs to be stopped However you are rescuing so that is different. You arnt encouraging the breeding so I see no issue. Well done for rescuing. Adopt don't shop

VagueSpirit · 09/04/2023 21:22

more likely to suffer from medical conditions

This is key. More likely to, not guaranteed to as some of the posters who have no personal experience with the breed indicate. Many seem to believe the generalisations as gospel on the breed but that's their issue. Enjoy your dog op. Ignore the uneducated idiotic comments that know nothing about the individual dog you're adopting.

IcedBananas · 09/04/2023 21:23

I wouldn’t be offended. Sounds like she’s questioning the ethics of how certain dogs are bred. It’s her opinion and she’s not going to be the only one to feel strongly about this kind of thing so it’s worth thinking about. You’re not breading, you’re giving a rescue dog a good home so I’d respond with that. I think she’s just trying to highlight something to you although maybe she’s been a bit blunt about it.

shutthewindownow · 09/04/2023 21:28

VagueSpirit · 09/04/2023 21:22

more likely to suffer from medical conditions

This is key. More likely to, not guaranteed to as some of the posters who have no personal experience with the breed indicate. Many seem to believe the generalisations as gospel on the breed but that's their issue. Enjoy your dog op. Ignore the uneducated idiotic comments that know nothing about the individual dog you're adopting.

I don't think people are idiotic to make comments given these dogs have so many health problems and this is part of the reason so many end up in rescue Vets bills are so expensive and insuring a French bulldog is also very costly Of course not every dog will have health problems but most of them do !

whynotwhatknot · 09/04/2023 21:38

yeah they ar eknown for their health problems but you are rescuing not buyung so i dont understamnd her desinger handbag comment

ChamonixSky · 09/04/2023 21:41

I think she's right. They're overbred and have significant health issues. I judge people who have these breeds. It's great that you want to rehome a dog, but it's definitely not the type of dog I'd go for personally. It sounds to me like your friend may have hit a nerve, possibly about vanity and wanting a cute looking dog? Try to unpick what it is about her comment that you find offensive and then let her know.

Iwasafool · 09/04/2023 21:45

Mincedpies · 09/04/2023 18:50

You can be as offended as you want but Frenchies are riddled with health problems. As a breed it’s cruel to continue breeding them. I know you’re rescuing rather than buying but your friend is right in her assessment.

PP have commented that their Frenchies have no health problems but trust me, they will. I wish I was wrong writing that but I’m not 😔

My friends is 9, just checked as I couldn't remember exactly how old, and she is very healthy and very well behaved. They had her as a rescue whens he was coming up to two and they've had no problems with her at all, she has a lovely nature and is very active.

SemperIdem · 09/04/2023 21:51

She’s right about the issues with the breed but if my local rescue is anything to do by, there are so many of the poor little things that need a home.

I wouldn’t buy one from a breeder but I would rescue one. They seem to have lovely natures despite their health issues.

SemperIdem · 09/04/2023 21:52

Posted too soon -

So I think your friend was a bit of a twat tbh.

ZephyrsTake · 09/04/2023 21:54

PP have commented that their Frenchies have no health problems but trust me, they will. I wish I was wrong writing that but I’m not 😔

How much would you like to put on that?!

My friends is 9

I know a few like the above ranging from 5 to 11 who have had no health issues... Including my own. So at which age are you guaranteeing me I'll have health problems with them? If course as they get old they will have declining health from old age as any dog would.. But I'm sure even issues due to old age any dog would experience you'd still say it's because of their breed.

Some of the posts are weird. It's like you can't have a dog unless you rescue (around here the only rescues available are pit bull mixes that wouldn't suit my lifestyle) and even if you rescue make sure it is only an approved by mumsnet breed. I'll take the company of a dog any day over some of the ridiculousness posted here. I'd guess many of the posters don't even own a dog let alone know anything about the breed in question apart from the internet generalisations... Fancy advising someone against adopting a rescue based on what you've heard about a breed...

ZephyrsTake · 09/04/2023 21:57

Adopt don't shop

This saying grates on me, and seems to be the go to for those with no clue.
Doesn't always work out for everyone and it's more responsible to find a reputable breeder of a breed that suits than to adopt one that doesn't just for the sake of adopting..

I wouldn’t buy one from a breeder

There are reportable breeders around. Research is everything.

Im99912 · 09/04/2023 22:06

I have a Frenchie
hes 14 months
yes he snores like a pig on steroids sometimes but he is very healthy
annual check up a few weeks ago and the vet said it was nice to see a Frenchie who was very well behaved and not overweight

he’s very well trained & we can take him anywhere with no problems , pubs shops the park to visit family and trips in the car he is just mr chilled out . No problems with other dogs .

he’s walked 3 times a day so he’s never gets bored and destroys stuff in the house which can be common with frenchies

insurance is expensive renewal came in at 80 a month which is crazy but he he’s worth it

Phoebo · 09/04/2023 22:28

Well she's right. Anyone who gets an oevrbred dog is quite selfish, given all the issues they have.

IntheJingelyJangelyJungle · 09/04/2023 22:43

Phoebo · 09/04/2023 22:28

Well she's right. Anyone who gets an oevrbred dog is quite selfish, given all the issues they have.

She is looking to adopt from a rescue shelter (from the OP)… Genuine Q: what do you think should happen to healthy overbred breed dogs who are in shelters?

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