Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpectedly late lunch at friends house, wibu to expect to feed the kids some dinner?

252 replies

SquigglyGum · 09/04/2023 06:36

Genuinely not sure if iabu.

Went to a friend's place for lunch on good Friday, 4 families including the host's. 9 kids 3-8yo. It was a seafood lunch, we all brought dishes to share and the host provided lunch for the kids.

Kids ate their hot lunch around 1.30pm. Adults grazed on prawns and chips/dips and for some reason the hosts didn't start cooking the hot parts of our lunch until gone 4pm. The kids were happy playing. We sat down at around 5pm, by that time I was starving (breastfeeding), and half an hour later the kids were all saying they were hungry. The host seemed to either ignore them, or say she'd given them dessert (I.e. stop asking for food, you've had loads), but that was at lunch time and it was coming to dinner time.

Obviously we hadn't come for two meals, but I was surprised she didn't either raise it with us or offer some cheese toasties or something simple. I found some leftover rice from our lunch and offered it to some of the kids but it wasn't enough really. It was clear the host didn't want to feed the kids, but she did want the fun to continue with the adults.

The other parents there didn't seem bothered that their kids were hungry either.

I called time at 7ish when I realised the others were kicking on and the kids wouldn't get fed, so we came home and gave our kids beans on toast, all sorted.

Was ibu to think it was odd not to even acknowledge that the kids needed something for their tea? In that situation I would have rustled up something simple, really to be able to keep on socialising with my mates having kept the kids fed and happy.

What would you have done in this situation? Note that we couldn't have chipped in for a takeaway pizza or anything as it was good Friday and nothing was open.

Interested to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
Singapore4 · 09/04/2023 10:20

What's really odd is the meal. Pizza, nuggets and potatoe waffles. It's all dry not even beans or anything? Really odd post.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/04/2023 10:20

BarbaraofSeville · 09/04/2023 10:18

It sounds like the OP isn't in the UK? The late lunch and closed takeaways suggests a Mediterranean country, eg Spain. Would make sense then.

But what doesn't make sense is how people will sit hungry for hours with friends (or family on the other thread) and not say anything or offer to solve the problem by making food themselves or go to a shop or takeaway.

Seems they would rather sit and seethe, then post on MN about it instead.

If it was Spain they wouldn’t be eating lunch until about 11pm Grin

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/04/2023 10:21

BakewellGin1 · 09/04/2023 08:03

They are unreasonable. If you are not going to feed your adult guests until around 4 hours after children have been fed then you need to cater for children again. It's not hard. A few frozen pizzas, ham sandwiches, Nuggets and Fries would have done it easily.

@BakewellGin1

or maybe just ham sandwiches?
all the other stuff you suggest- not needed

Original poster
SquigglyGum · 09/04/2023 10:27

Singapore4 · 09/04/2023 10:20

What's really odd is the meal. Pizza, nuggets and potatoe waffles. It's all dry not even beans or anything? Really odd post.

Eh? That wasn't the meal at all! Where'd that come from?

OP posts:
Houseyvibe · 09/04/2023 10:31

I would have put some pasta on for the kids with some pesto or tomato sauce and some cheese. Wouldn’t have given them nothing

waterlego · 09/04/2023 10:35

There was a thread this morning about an inadequate meal involving pizza, waffles and nuggets so I think that poster has got confused @SquigglyGum.

Climbles · 09/04/2023 10:36

I quite often end up in this situation and we always make sure no one is hungry, even if it’s just cheese on toast, fruit, crisps etc. If there is literally no food we pop to the tesco up the road and get frozen pizza or something. If everything was closed there would be a conversation and an apology at least. Kids like to be fed regularly and it would be really rude not to provide food but expect the adults to carry on. My guess is your hosts were drunk.

Singapore4 · 09/04/2023 10:38

waterlego · 09/04/2023 10:35

There was a thread this morning about an inadequate meal involving pizza, waffles and nuggets so I think that poster has got confused @SquigglyGum.

Sorry yes my mistake OP

watcherintherye · 09/04/2023 10:38

SquigglyGum · 09/04/2023 10:27

Eh? That wasn't the meal at all! Where'd that come from?

Show quote history

There’s another (lack of) food related thread, where 10 chicken nuggets, four waffles and a pizza were served up between 8 people, or some such (don’t quote me on numbers or quantities!) I imagine the poster meant this for that thread.

CovertImage · 09/04/2023 10:39

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/04/2023 07:33

Eh? It sounds like you were all grazing on food all afternoon so no idea why you'd need to eat again! As you were invited to LUNCH the host obviously hadn't bargained on people staying so late hence no plan to "rustle up" an evening meal as well. She was probably hoping you'd all take your kids home and feed them yourselves. Also it's OK to experience hunger. Some people seem genuinely terrified to be hungry, miss the odd meal or dine later than advertised.
And surely anyone with kids never leaves the house without an emergency banana just in case???

Agreed

Poorlittlepoorgirl · 09/04/2023 10:47

Why didn’t you leave then? I think maybe they had no other food and that’s a lot of extra food to prepare for all those kids. She’s probably thinking you are a CF for not chipping in or you could have driven to find a corner shop which are mostly all open when everything else is shut.

Forever42 · 09/04/2023 10:50

Eh? It sounds like you were all grazing on food all afternoon so no idea why you'd need to eat again! As you were invited to LUNCH the host obviously hadn't bargained on people staying so late hence no plan to "rustle up" an evening meal as well

They were invited to lunch which wasn't served until 5pm. Hosts then continued opening wine and offering drinks. Doesn't sound like they wanted anyone to leave. OP had to make excuses at 7 to get away.

Just sounds like hosts were very disorganised. They probably weren't expecting everyone to stay for dinner but it reached dinner time (for the kids who had eaten at 1.30) because they were so disorganised about serving the adult "lunch".

Original poster
SquigglyGum · 09/04/2023 10:52

Poorlittlepoorgirl · 09/04/2023 10:47

Why didn’t you leave then? I think maybe they had no other food and that’s a lot of extra food to prepare for all those kids. She’s probably thinking you are a CF for not chipping in or you could have driven to find a corner shop which are mostly all open when everything else is shut.

Why didn’t you leave then? I did I think maybe they had no other food nope and that’s a lot of extra food to prepare for all those kids. She’s probably thinking you are a CF for not chipping in we did all contribute equally or you could have driven to find a corner shop which are mostly all open when everything else is shut not where i am. Literally crickets. Hardly any shops anyway but nothing is open on good Friday.

OP posts:
OMGitsnotgood · 09/04/2023 10:55

The few takeaway places around here were all shut.

Guess you're not in the UK then and no Just Eat type services available either?

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 09/04/2023 10:55

You shouldn't have expected 2 meals for the kids if you were invited for lunch, but it sounds a bit disorganised, so you and the other parents should have just ordered pizzas in for the kids so you could carry on the party.

SkyeBlue28 · 09/04/2023 10:56

I don’t blame the host for not planning a second meal for kids, however if they were asking for food she should have fed them.

onwardsup4 · 09/04/2023 10:58

Phoebo · 09/04/2023 07:08

I'm confused, if you went for lunch (and had lunch) why did you stay and expect dinner? Have I missed something?

Yes , the entire point of the thread. Lunch was served at dinner time.

Phineyj · 09/04/2023 11:05

I think it would be easy to cause offence by taking catering into your own hands. It really isn't as simple in a social situation as just ordering in a pizza or helping yourself to the host's food.

Some hosts (who may be genuinely nice people) don't seem to realise that others' eating habits/appetites/needs are different to theirs.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 09/04/2023 11:13

I think your hosts were probably just overwhelmed by the numbers. I take my hat off to anyone who is able and willing to cater for such a large party, especially nine kids.

Newname221 · 09/04/2023 11:15

Phineyj · 09/04/2023 11:05

I think it would be easy to cause offence by taking catering into your own hands. It really isn't as simple in a social situation as just ordering in a pizza or helping yourself to the host's food.

Some hosts (who may be genuinely nice people) don't seem to realise that others' eating habits/appetites/needs are different to theirs.

I really don’t understand this type of friendship.

At my house, my friends wouldn’t even ask, theyd just tell me they are ordering a pizza/grabbing some crisps for the kids. And I’d do the same at theirs.

I can’t imagine being friends with someone who would be offended by me feeding my kids. Maybe I’ve weeded out all those pearl clutchers though. I encourage others to do the same.

chopc · 09/04/2023 11:18

So no other parent said anything when their kids were saying they were hungry? I find that bizarre.

If it was 5pm I would have gotten annoyed as the kids had been fed but not if they expect you to stay until a normal dinner time.

zingally · 09/04/2023 11:22

I read this whole thing with a shrug - you all overstayed your welcome/what the host had planned for.

It's not easy to just "rustle something up" for 9 kids, when you hadn't planned to. And also not while you're busy doing something else.

Fair enough, throw a bit of fruit at the 3yo, but it won't kill an 8yo to be a bit hungry for a while. Have a drink of water.

waterlego · 09/04/2023 11:26

I don’t see how the OP outstayed their welcome. They left at 7pm having been served their ‘lunch’ at 5pm. Two hours from the serving of the meal to leaving isn’t at all excessive.

OMGitsnotgood · 09/04/2023 11:29

you all overstayed your welcome/what the host had planned for.

The adults sat down for 'lunch' at 5pm, the children had eaten at 1:30. They didn't outstay it hier welcome. I don't think the host had planned very well at all.
I cannot believe the host had nothing at all the kids could have eaten, but not sure if hat the OP handled it particularly well either.

PoBaFla · 09/04/2023 11:32

waterlego · 09/04/2023 11:26

I don’t see how the OP outstayed their welcome. They left at 7pm having been served their ‘lunch’ at 5pm. Two hours from the serving of the meal to leaving isn’t at all excessive.

This^
Had the adults lunch hit the table at say 2pm, they would have left couple hours later and been home in plenty time for kids tea. It's the fact the pissed hosts didn't serve lunch (which everyone had brought food for) until 5pm that caused the issue of kids being hungry again

Swipe left for the next trending thread