My new car is too bossy

[PolkaDotMankini]

I got a new car a couple of weeks ago. It's pretty (if already muddy) but the bossiness is never-ending.

If I change lane on the motorway and there's a car next to the lane I'm going into, it flashes up hazard lights on the dashboard and wing mirror, beeps loudly and nudges the steering wheel away.

When I stop the car, it flashes up a reminder to check the back seats for people and belongings.

And the final straw: it sent me a text reminding me to lock it. I was sitting in it at the time, minding my own business in the car park

AIBU to find this annoying? I particularly dislike it screeching and wrenching the wheel round when I'm changing lanes. It's dangerous!

I took it to the garage last week and it turned out the lane assist was on. So every time I swerved a pot hole it pulled me back into it.

I think it also doesn't help that some of these features are designed in Germany, within the proud context of excellent-by-default, well-maintained German roads. The UK's perpetually-neglected, pot-holed road infrastructure is very different indeed.

Incidentally, with all of this amazing driving technology, I want to know why we still have the same old jarring speed bumps that we have to suffer. I remember reading many years ago about an adaptive, reactive new design, whereby people travelling up to the limit would barely register the bump at all, whereas those exceeding the limit would find it very unpleasant, uncomfortable and possibly not good for their car's sustained integrity. Why has this never become reality? Speed bumps are meant to keep the traffic moving at an appropriate speed; not to force queues of congested vehicles to slow to a tenth of a MPH and still hear a horrible scraping sound on some of the nastier ones.

I drive a 22 yr old car. Basically go, stop and lights are the functions.

I moved a friends new car for her the other day as my Insurance allowed it, and she didn’t have it yet. I have no experience at all of newer cars, no idea of all this. So when it tried to steer me back into the lane, despite a broken down lorry, it nearly succeeded in killing me as I totally wasn’t expecting it.

A nagging, distracting beep because your handbag isn't wearing a seat belt is one thing; but a car actually taking over the steering wheel and removing the driver's autonomy is very concerning indeed.

Out of interest (and I think I can guess the answer), if the car did force you to crash into a broken-down vehicle or other obstacle, by overruling your autonomy as a driver when you were otherwise taking evasive safety action, would it be your insurance record that was affected?

It seems the worst of both worlds when a car will automatically take the autonomy from the human driver, but that driver will still be held responsible for the car's actions. At least if, in the future, you climb into a next-generation fully driverless car and let it do its stuff whilst you have a nice (planned, completely legal) nap in the back seat, and it crashes, nobody will blame you or hold you accountable for it.

I hate Lane Assist! If I need to deviate slightly over lane markings because of a cyclist for example, the steering wheel vibrates and pulls away! So dangerous. Just have to remember to turn it off EVERY TIME I GET IN THE CAR

Mine isn't whizz bang- basic Ford Fiesta but I remember when I used to be with Virgin tge Sat navs had attitude. Sounded thoroughly peed off when I made a mistake. Not good when 'turn around when possible' sounds so dismissive 🤣

Ours doesn't have most of that, just the rear parking sensor which has a very strange idea of what behind me to beep at and sometimes spends the whole time I'm reversing beeping at imaginary obstacles and a forward sensory which flashes up a giant break sign, which causes me to slam on the break wondering what I possibly missed, as it turns out none of the time it's flashed at me did I actually need to break. All that adrenaline and whiplash for nothing. I do like the reversing camera, but the rest I could happily do without.

I hate Lane Assist! If I need to deviate slightly over lane markings because of a cyclist for example, the steering wheel vibrates and pulls away! So dangerous. Just have to remember to turn it off EVERY TIME I GET IN THE CAR

What is the actual point of it? I can see how it could potentially bail out an incompetent, tired, drunk or stoned driver; but the obvious elephant in the room is that none of these people should be driving in the first place.

How does it help a competent, alert driver?

Who are these people who are spending their working lives developing useless and/or dangerous 'features' for vehicles that millions of drivers then have to sigh and mentally note to switch off every time they get in the car? It's like the equivalent of a chef routinely including a bonus dog poo 'sausage' in your bangers and mash by default, unless you 'simply' remember to tell the waiting staff that you don't want it (for whatever unfathomable reasons!!)!

For those thinking of getting a Mazda I wouldn’t. Cant stand the thing. It’s bossy but also the windscreen wipers are the most irritating design I’ve ever had. I know it seems like a small thing but it rains a lot in this country!!! The automated setting is absolute shite and moving the stick gives you either slow or fast. Where the fuck is the intermittent setting? Nowhere. Doesn’t exist 👹👹

@spidereggs complained to DH that our new car was absolutely useless in the snow. He disagreed, took it out, came back and agreed.

Best car I ever had the snow was a 1971 Morris Minor. It was bloody amazing. At the time I lived at the top of a really steep hill and first signs of snow everything was stuck at the bottom.
The mog became Winter ready with the addition of a breeze block for weight in the boot. It sailed past all the wheel spinning modern cars with all their bells and whistles and aside from the odd 4x4 was the only car that could get up there in winter.
I miss that car sometimes.

I am on my 2nd from new Toyota, and I do love it, but it does have some fairly severe anxiety issues and is very judgemental.

Wow, I thought our Skoda was bad but reading some of these it's pretty good. It panics every time we reverse into our tight driveway and bings incessantly when it's cold outside. It does also have emergency brake assist but that's only triggered when we actually did need it and we're braking for ourselves, it just reacted slightly quicker than we did.

These cars would not let you crash in that scenario if everything is switched on. They implement a total stop in the possibility of a crash.

We have everything and I love it. Yes the lane assist can be troubling on narrow country roads which are painted but it's minor overall. I don't have the handbag issue. Collision avoidance, lane keeping, run off road mitigation, cross traffic alert with auto break, blind spot info and surround view camera. It does make me wonder though why we also have auto dial to emergency systems when in an accident but I guess that for all we have others can still impact you.

These cars would not let you crash in that scenario if everything is switched on. They implement a total stop in the possibility of a crash.

They're not infallible, though. Even if they are working properly, do we really want a vehicle that thinks it's better to just stop in the middle of the road rather than let a human driver with eyes smoothly swerve around it, having checked that the way is clear to do so?!

Do yourself a favour and get rid. Treat yourself to a nice little 2003 Honda Jazz. No judgement or bossiness whatsoever.

We're fully electric now and can't go back. I'm going to investigate turning off the panicking though.

*Scepticalwotsits" · Yesterday 07:11

sorry I don’t want to have to go through three root menus just to turn the heating up or down, it’s dangerous

Yes, I don't even like fiddling with the radio, or the heating, as I often start to drive less straight. Mind you, I usually do an over the shoulder look, when changing lanes on dual carriageways and never veer then.

I agree. I hate the temperature control on my car too. I have to press one button on the screen and then another button to actually change it. The volume is done by a little roller on the wheel so why can’t temperature be the same? I want a dial, with red and blue that I simply twist.

Must admit, I do love the temp controls on mine.

You can have a 'profile' linked to each key, and the car knows who's key has accessed it so when you get in, it sets the wing mirrors, temperature and even radio station to that profile.
This means that I don't have to suffer the arctic blast DH leaves behind on a warm sunny day when he has the air con on 😂

@ShiteInNiningArmour my Jeep used to do a variation of that - the seat setting were set for DH (tall) and me (short) and I just had to push one button and it would set them for me (or him). That’s genuinely handy. My new car, for all its bossy irritating things, has none of the actual useful things that I would like, like a genuinely good reversing camera, heated seats or personalised seat positioning.
Luckily mine is only a lease car and I don’t have it forever!

Kia Sportage by any chance?!?! I've just got the new one and it does allllll of this 🤦🏼‍♀️ I took the "Check back seats!" literally at first and was panicking thinking they weren't secured and my child's car seat was going to lurch forward!
The collision warning is Doing. My. Head. IN!!!!!

We had a very early insight into the future of bossy cars - my dad had a Maestro (maybe Montego) MG in the 80s and that was information overload AND completely shit. Constant frozen road warnings in summer particularly stand out, a dashboard like the Death Star control room (actually excellent for when my siblings and I played spaceships in the car).

I saw the future and I did not care for it. I have enough bother with my quite old car telling me seatbelts aren’t being used in the back (because there’s no one there…) and the rear parking sensors now NOT working.

Where I used to live they installed some speed bumps that were supposed to do this but in reality the slower you went over then the worse they were and if you went over then really fast they didn't notice. A complete failure in slowing traffic down and actually encouraged it to speed up🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm glad I've not got a bossy new car as I once took my old car to the garage because the seatbelt light come on. Turned out it was because I had my bag on the passenger seat (as always but must have been a bit heavier that day)
My husband's car is 09 and I get annoyed enough by the front sensor that doesn't actually beep while parking but does beep like a crazy thing when you get into the car and there is something in front of it, usually nextdoor's car as they have parked in front of us outside their own home and I can perfectly well see it there and have in fact just walked past it to get into the car🤦🏻‍♀️
I also struggle with it being automatic as I just keep randomly taking it out of drive so think these new cars would be beyond me. I do like cruse control on the smart motorways with the ever changing speed limits though, I can set it to the last speed limit I saw and not have to worry as much about the hundreds of speed cameras.

We had a very early insight into the future of bossy cars - my dad had a Maestro (maybe Montego) MG in the 80s and that was information overload AND completely shit.

Yes, it's just not just a modern thing! We had a friend with an old Maestro from the early 80s, and that had a light-up thing on the dash to tell you when to change gear. If you're unable/don't want to/too lazy to be able to know yourself when to change gear, and you don't want the freedom/autonomy to decide for yourself according to the road/traffic conditions, why on earth wouldn't you just get an automatic?