My new car is too bossy

[PolkaDotMankini]

I got a new car a couple of weeks ago. It's pretty (if already muddy) but the bossiness is never-ending.

If I change lane on the motorway and there's a car next to the lane I'm going into, it flashes up hazard lights on the dashboard and wing mirror, beeps loudly and nudges the steering wheel away.

When I stop the car, it flashes up a reminder to check the back seats for people and belongings.

And the final straw: it sent me a text reminding me to lock it. I was sitting in it at the time, minding my own business in the car park

AIBU to find this annoying? I particularly dislike it screeching and wrenching the wheel round when I'm changing lanes. It's dangerous!

Or someone with a nice Bristol accent maybe, or any of those friendly sounding voices. I was in Stafford last week and was called “duck” three or four times and would happily be told “oh watch out duck, you’re changing lanes without indicating”

My car doesn't like the hedgerow on a bend I drive past regularly, it has a panic attack thinking I've not realised it's a bend and I'm just going to plough into it 🤣

urgh, kick him out. Immediately. 😂

Glad mine doesnt have all this stuff. My previous one did( a work car) and I didnt know what half the buttons did.

I do miss the heated seats,windscreen and steering wheel though

I love the Tesla smart stuff, though. It actually mostly tends to make sense and work when you need it.

David Attenborough or William Hague. That purr would never get annoying.

Mine does it when there’s a line of tar or similar in the middle of lane because it senses it being the middle marker lines and it’s so bloody annoying!😂😂

I turned off the lane control and brake alerts in the settings

Mine refused to move as I hadn't put 'my seatbelt on' (I was moving forward about 6 inches in a driveway - my door was open at a 90 degree angle).
I appreciate seat belt safety but it's farcical. Next Alexa will be telling me what to do......

Thank god my car doesn't judder or pull me out of my lane when changing lane but it does shout at me if I don't break when it thinks I should or if I get too close to another car.
It also won't let me move if I don't have my seatbelt on or open the boot or rear doors if the engine is running.
I'm an advanced driver with 32 years driving experience. Ffs!

Mine can actually manage 3 levels of beep simultaneously if it's a little perturbed by its neighbours in the car park, it's a delicate little flower.

It also flashes a little picture of a steaming coffee after two hours and suggests that I stop. If a coffee actually popped up from the dash board I might be impressed.

I tried to read the book about switching off the bloody sensors, but I got as far as how to adjust the mood lighting at the passenger side and lost the will to live.

It does allow me to fan my arse with cold air and waft farts around the car so it's not all bad 🤣

Oh and the previous owner set the sat nav to speak in Australian and I haven't worked out how to change that either - it constantly talks about stopping at the 'servo' and wearing sunnies ....

That sounds annoying. I thought mine was bad enough, the sat nav asks 'Are you sure' whenever you give it an instruction.

I love interacting with my car - it makes me feel like Michael Knight from Knightrider!!

Who makes these bossy cars?

I just switch them all off including the automatic lights. Drives me mad the number of people who have become brain dead due to their cars taking over their thinking for them (all present company excluded of course!)

Ours rates our driving!

Men!

And it's such a wimp- it makes a massive fuss if it gets within a meter of a gate post! I was so pleased last week when I had to squeeze past a tractor and all 4 of it's pathetic, needy sensors went off at once!

I have got a new car that is also bossy. My old car was so old it had no tech at all so it's a bit of a shock. It tells me to change gear about every 2 metres. I surely can't be driving in the wrong gear all the time!! And yes to all the bleeping and flashing when reverse parking. It makes me start panicking despite the fact I've managed to park in my drive or carparks just fine for the past 15 years by simply using the mirrors and my own observational skills!

Yip it will be telling you to check for people.

I guess it's an attempt to stop people walking away forgetting they have a child in the backseat. Every year kids die in cars because they have been forgotten about.
Usually it's when the parent who doesn't normally do drop off, takes the kid, goes into autopilot drives to work, gets out the car forgetting the LO.

OMG I will stick to my older car
i have turned off everything in current car apart from auto lights and auto windscreen wipers
everything else I want to be boss

Have you recalibrated it? It won't go off unless you do. If you have recalibrated it and it still doesn't go off, you have real problems.

Mine is panic stricken every time I go down our driveway - house one side, stone wall the other, and about 15cm to spare each side. But otherwise it's an angel compared to all these.

Mine is apoplectic if I get too close to a leaf, tells me I need a break on the motorway, interrupts my audiobook to tell me there's roadworks and irritatingly announces I need to check the rear seat whenever I park.

😂LOLZ