My new car is too bossy

[PolkaDotMankini]

I got a new car a couple of weeks ago. It's pretty (if already muddy) but the bossiness is never-ending.

If I change lane on the motorway and there's a car next to the lane I'm going into, it flashes up hazard lights on the dashboard and wing mirror, beeps loudly and nudges the steering wheel away.

When I stop the car, it flashes up a reminder to check the back seats for people and belongings.

And the final straw: it sent me a text reminding me to lock it. I was sitting in it at the time, minding my own business in the car park

AIBU to find this annoying? I particularly dislike it screeching and wrenching the wheel round when I'm changing lanes. It's dangerous!

Oh I had the complaints about lane changing in a rental car recently, it drove me CRAZY.

It's not always possible to wait for a gap before indicating. I told the car this repeatedly, at increasing volumes, much to DH's amusement.

LTB.

I’ve got an older car imported from Japan. The parking sensors are controlled by a Japanese lady who politely warns me when I am too close to an obstacle. God knows what’s she’s saying though. The kids roll about laughing when she starts with her polite entreaties

Ugh yes. Mine does this too. The only thing I wish it did do was alert me when I leave my keys in it. It's keyless entry and start so I often throw my keys on the passenger seat and just get out, walk up the never ending path to work only to find an alert on my phone from my airtag saying my keys are left behind and anybody could be driving off in my car.

The only Modern tech I loved was my old car (a Yaris so nothing special) had adaptive cruise control so you could set it to 70 and if the car in front braked it would slow you down accordingly. Even if the car in front came to a full stop it would stop you. I did like that. I moved to electric and my Renault Zoe doesn't have that

My new car arrived on Monday after a year long wait. My old car is 13.

now, I’ve never flown Concorde, but I imagine it’s somewhat similar to sitting behind the controls of this. I’ve been driving for 30 odd years, always manual, so automatic was a bit of a change anyway, but I’m also being told off for not putting it in park etc.
I think I spent about two hours on Monday afternoon just trying to figure out where everything was, plus a further hour when it had gone dark so I could set up the ambient lighting 😂

Ive not even gotten into the lane assist settings yet, or the auto dimming lights. That’s for another day.

Every time it reaches a certain low temperature lets out the loudest bing to tell me. I jump out of my bloody skin!

I mean, I know it's cold for fuck sake. In order to get into the car I had to fucking walk outside in it.

Ha ha is it a new Ford? Mine tells me to 'check the rear seat for occupants' when I stop the engine.......I'm not going to wander off and forget to take my kids with me am I? The little fuckers have been screaming in my ear and screaming at each other for the last 20 minutes ha ha.

The last one I had was a new Audi and she would bossily announce 'your mobile phone is still in the vehicle' if you hadn't unplugged it a nano-second after I turned it off.

I've made a suggestion at my job that we should do a drop in, maybe in the evenings where people can come in and ask stuff like
How do I switch off lane assist
How do I do the lighting
How often does my car need a service
What should the tyre pressures be
My car is making this stupid beep what is it
Etc

You just turn up, speak to one of us and we come out to your car and show you how to do it or demo it on the same model car

Good grief, I couldn't put up with that. Can't you turn that feature off?

Now you see, I’m bloody good with cars. I’ve always owned classics (still do). I can change my own oil and brakes and even turn my hand to more complex jobs. I like to open a bonnet and see an engine. A nice, simple everyday engine complete with a dipstick.

This modern stuff is impossible for your average home mechanic to work on. Yes I can hook up a computer to the car and tell you what the fault is, but fix it myself? Doubtful. Some of the more modern cars don’t even possess dipsticks anymore and you’re relying solely on the car knowing the oil is low.

I miss that. It’s all a bit complex. Though under the bonnet of my new one is a bloody big battery and a washer bottle.

Anyway, here is hoping for a dry weekend so I can look at a 35 year old fuel pump 😂

we bought the volvo 🤣

No-one halfway competent needs these things, it's just that manufacturers think we like them.

@ShiteInNiningArmour I still drive a manual so..
Work comment I need a new car a lot. It's 2014, 43,000 miles and I've had it since new. Nothing wrong with it
Was reminiscing with a customer the other day about manual chokes!

I have one of these too. She sits in her car seat reading the speedometer over my shoulder and asking for snacks.

I'm not allowed to drove dh car as I ruin his eco driving score apparently 🙃

Hmmm. What if you moved out to avoid something? Do the wheels kindly nudge you right back into hitting it?

My automatic that I had for over 20 years and loved 😭 (was luxurious model which still had a tape recorder in it😂) died recently and my new non automatic one's dashboard keeps telling me to shift...............now I think that just plain rude😳

Mine beeps at me for going over the speed limit. The trouble is, it's not as clever as it thinks it is, so it quite often misses when the speed limit has changed and carries on telling me off for going above 40 when the dual carriageway has merged onto a motorway. Or it picks up a 10 mph limit sign on a side driveway and goes bonkers because I'm still heinously doing 30.

One of my old ones still has the manual choke. It’s the listening to the engine tick over to know when to push it back etc isn’t it? I don’t think people listen to engines anymore 😂
I had a mog as my daily driver for many years, so many people asked my why I didn’t have a normal car but there was nothing wrong with that. It was cheap to buy, easy to maintain and when we did part ways I made a profit. the kids were horrified by it as well which was an added bonus.

The only reason my 2010 car is going really is it’s a big diesel 4x4 which is now costly to tax and with local ULEZ etc, and too big for my needs. DHs work green scheme was so good it would have been daft not too. I don’t blame you for keeping it. My best mate has a 1991 escort she’s had from new that she refuses to replace as it’s still going strong.

Don’t get me wrong I love my new one and all it’s very complex ways, but I’m the weirdo who really needs something to tinker with on a Sunday afternoon.

Wow. And I thought mine was annoying just for telling me when to change gear. Think I'll count myself lucky lol

Oooo that's interesting as we get this every winter but only on one tyre!

My car gets upset every time I start it when there’s less than 100 miles of fuel left in the tank.
The vast majority of my journeys are less than 15 miles so there’s no need for the fuss.

Can you? Thank god. I was having kittens. We are looking getting at a new car later this year but I could not cope with that. I have ADHD and it would be sooo distracting and stressful. Really dangerous!

Any tips on makes or models of electric cars that DON'T do this. Or ones where it can be FULLY turned off. I actually think this will make it unsafe for me to drive.

We've got a 6 year old Volvo V 60, which isn't too bad, the most annoying thing is the seatbelt warning, which means you can't have a bag on the passenger seat.

Mind you, the speedo display is a pain in the arse, too many colours and variations. My wife decided to set it to some scheme, which meant that it went almost black, in the dark. What fucking moron thought that that was a good idea?

After hours of fiddling over several days, referring to the manual, I asked a friend, who's a mechanic. After about an hour of cursing, he said,

"Right, sorted. Don't fiddle with it again, cos I don't know what I did and I'm not going to do it again."

There’s something to be said for driving an old banger rather than a computer on wheels.
I can’t imagine how annoying that would be.