DSD doesn’t want to go to Russia (I don’t blame her)

[CatherineEarnshawsGhost]

Hello,

Just wanted to see what others think about this situation.

DSD (11) has three passports - A European one from her dad (not British, an EU), an Australian one and a Russian one. My DH’s exW is Russian and is planning a trip to visit family in the Urals during the Summer holidays. DSD’s mum is now in the process of renewing their Russian passports as I guess they have both lapsed.

I suppose it’ll be a bit of a rigmarole to get there as they’ll have to fly via Turkey to get to Moscow. When they do get there I think they’d have to rely on cash (Rubles) as western bank cards won’t work and their British phones will probably have to be switched off in advance because when the Russian phone company detects a UK phone number on their network they are likely to become highly suspicious and track that phone (I work in telecoms, this isn’t unfounded paranoia they can do this so probably will).

Now that DSD is aware of the plan she’s voicing the fact that she’s feeling a bit nervous at the prospect of going. Honestly I don’t blame her. DH is also quite worried and would rather they don’t risk it, but doesn’t want to stop his DD from seeing her GPs and GGM who is 89 (I think). Overall DH wants what’s best for his DD so that would probably mean not going to a hostile country which is currently at odds with the west. He’s just needs to diplomatically approach his exW for the best outcome (no idea how he does that so I’ll leave it to him).

AIBU for being a bit nervous about seeing DSD go off to Russia?

Anyone else experienced this (unlikely but just checking)

Thanks!

It is a frightening situation, and I would be worried too. My experience of family members visiting Russia was before the war, but it was difficult even then, and there was not a good outcome. My relatives on UK passports came back, but their travelling companion on a Russian passport still hasn't.

Does she speak Russian? I'd say get her a PAYG phone and a local SIM card card on arrival.

That said, I'd probably advise against her going at present, as the Russians may use her as a political pawn.

I’d be looking at what the travel advice is in regard toRussia currently.

Can your DH apply to court to prevent her from being taken out of the country? If his ex wants to go ahead without his permission

What @RudsyFarmer said. The USA recently advised against travel to Russia. What is the UK's position?

I don’t think she should go at all.

I wouldn’t want to visit a dictatorship with such a repressive system even if my GPS were there.

www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/russia

I agree, I would be doing this immediately.

'The Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office (FCDO) advises against all travel to the whole of Russia due to the lack of available flight options to return to the UK, and the increased volatility in the Russian economy.'

Your DH needs to say no. Absolutely no.

I’ve just looked at that UK Gov page. No way would I let a daughter of mine go. Nope. Insurance won’t be valid surely if UK Gov advises against it?

Yes me too. I don't pretend to be an expert but if they're travelling on Russian passports will they be allowed out?

I think its a difficult one. I don't see how he can stop them though, as his ex is Russian and his DD has dual British Russian nationality. It isn't a country where its own citizens are at risk as such, its just difficult diplomatically, and if anything happened he wouldn't be able to go out there to them.

Are you in the UK? Am I right reading this that your DSD doesn’t have a UK passport? Your DH needs to get legal advice quickly as to the likelihood of his dd being allowed to travel back to the UK if she does go.

I lived and studied in Russia. No way would I be going anywhere near it now. And as a PP said, you wouldn't be insured or have any consular assistance if something did go wrong.

An awful situation for Ex with her parents and GM there but they can't go 😥

I can't see where you say you live (uk or Australia) but I'd be worried she might not get back

I think your DH needs to put his foot down and just say that the UK advises against all travel to Russia and has advised anyone without an essential reason to be there to leave. Far too dangerous for an 11 year old to visit just for a family visit. We have no idea how the war might escalate!

God no. An awful situation but not one which justifies DSD going there. Travelling against government advice is a terrible idea. He needs to advocate for his DD and if that means an awkward conversation and/or an order stopping her being taking out of the country then that’s what’s got to be done.

Thanks @Newyeardietstartstomorrow She’s not actually a British citizen but a Russian one and a European one (dad from an EU country. Yes not getting in there would be a major concern if things go south. So hard.

If I were your DH i would apply to the court to stop ex taking her to Russia and also to stop her renewing the Russian passport. I wouldn’t want my Dd to have any connection to Russia under any circumstances.

She might not get home again. Absolute madness to go there under the current circumstances.

Oh sorry everyone - yes we are UK based. London specifically.

Without going into too much detail, I’ve been to Russia this year to visit elderly (dying) relatives. It’s not easy, or recommended but actually once you’re over the faff of travelling, it’s perfectly safe within the country. I think any notions of being used as a political pawn as very exaggerated unless your daughter happens to be someone of international importance.
Of course it’s not recommended but I sadly don’t see the situation improving for a long time, so had to make a call whether to see family or potentially never see them again, and I’m happy with the choice I made. She will be able to get back on her EU passport (as I did).
I can understand your nerves, and to be honest I’m not sure I would be happy if a child of mine was going, but I was happy to take the risk myself.

I wouldn’t want them to be able to claim my child as a citizen, or for another other government to treat her as one

I might be inclined to report this as a safeguarding concern. I'm not sure what they could do but I know schools get involved when it's suspected travel is being arranged for FGM or forced marriage. Not the same but still a significant risk to the child.