DSD doesn’t want to go to Russia (I don’t blame her)

[CatherineEarnshawsGhost]

Hello,

Just wanted to see what others think about this situation.

DSD (11) has three passports - A European one from her dad (not British, an EU), an Australian one and a Russian one. My DH’s exW is Russian and is planning a trip to visit family in the Urals during the Summer holidays. DSD’s mum is now in the process of renewing their Russian passports as I guess they have both lapsed.

I suppose it’ll be a bit of a rigmarole to get there as they’ll have to fly via Turkey to get to Moscow. When they do get there I think they’d have to rely on cash (Rubles) as western bank cards won’t work and their British phones will probably have to be switched off in advance because when the Russian phone company detects a UK phone number on their network they are likely to become highly suspicious and track that phone (I work in telecoms, this isn’t unfounded paranoia they can do this so probably will).

Now that DSD is aware of the plan she’s voicing the fact that she’s feeling a bit nervous at the prospect of going. Honestly I don’t blame her. DH is also quite worried and would rather they don’t risk it, but doesn’t want to stop his DD from seeing her GPs and GGM who is 89 (I think). Overall DH wants what’s best for his DD so that would probably mean not going to a hostile country which is currently at odds with the west. He’s just needs to diplomatically approach his exW for the best outcome (no idea how he does that so I’ll leave it to him).

AIBU for being a bit nervous about seeing DSD go off to Russia?

Anyone else experienced this (unlikely but just checking)

Thanks!

I'm a dual national (not Russian though) and thought you could only get consular assistance if you travelled to one of your countries on the other passport, if that makes sense. So eg if you have a Polish and a UK passport, and you enter Poland on your Polish passport, the UK won't intervene if you get thrown in jail (but they would if you'd travelled on your UK passport.)

So if the worst happens and she couldn't leave, her other nationality's govt would only intervene if she had travelled in on that passport, not if she'd travelled on her Russian one.

Nightmare situation for you. Personally I'd be against letting her go.

Nor me I'm afraid. Human life is clearly worthless to the Russian government, start with prisons to avoid protests then send general population off to the front. .. if I was Russian I'd be avoiding returning.

He needs to tell her advise is not to travel to Russia and he would really rather neither of them go. However he understands she might want to go herself but offer to take care of DSD while she is gone or contribute to the cost of bringing family members here so DSD can see them.

He could if she doesn't agree go to court for a prohibitive steps order to prevent her being taken to Russia, I can't see it not being granted considering government advice, but I'd leave as last resort.

There was a point in time where traveling to Russia was on my bucket list. I am not fluent in the language but this is something I have really worked towards.

Unless something radically changes, I don’t think I’m going to ever be able to go. I missed my window.

I would follow all government advice to cease travel. if this means souring the relationship with the ex-wife and getting a court order, I would risk the fallout.

As things stand at the moment for those Russians who have EU/UK passports the issue with travel is not safety as such, but more the cost and the time it takes to get there. Once inside the country, it is fairly safe, if you don't attend meetings and are careful about what you say/do in public.

Women are not being mobilised (yet) unless they are medical professionals.

I would personally monitor the situation and be prepared to change plans and abandon the trip at the last minute, but as things are right now, I would be ok to go.

Hi, @CatherineEarnshawsGhost - the Russian government doesn’t recognise dual nationality for Russian passport holders, so if the child goes to Russia, the authorities could keep her there and there would be little to nothing that anyone could do about it, as she is a Russian citizen. (It’s also not beyond the realm of possibility that her mother may well have this in mind…)

In addition, it’s not that unlikely that she would be barred re-entry to the UK, unless you are absolutely sure that she has residency rights in the UK. You really don’t want her stuck somewhere in the EU!

Nope, no chance in hell would I be allowing her to go if I was your husband.

Not a good idea to go at all

Thanks for your responses everyone - my feelings align with what almost everyone else is expressing so it just confirms that my fears are not an over reaction. Same for her dad.

So for people asking if her GPs can come to the UK or if they can all meet up in a neutral country like Dubai or Turkey, they can and they do! Her GPs came over to the UK on a tourist visa not that long ago and for a chunk of time (not sure how they swung it, but they did) and have no problem moving around and through borders etc. (going via Turkey etc) In fact, I was just chatting to DSD a few minutes ago and there’s even a plan to meet up in Dubai before the summer holidays anyway so it’s not even about going to see them as they can do this safely and so it’s low risk. I think it’s that DSD’s mum really wants to see her GM (DSD’s GGM) as there’s the feeling she’s not long for this world.

So in my estimation, this trip is a complete folly.

Not surprised I wouldnt go anywhere near Russia at the present time. Better safe than sorry.

I have got 3 friends/neighbours who are Russian citizens with dual nationality. None of them will set foot in Russia. One of the younger ones has met up with their parents in Turkey once in the last 2 years. It is hard for all of them, but they consider it to be too dangerous to visit.

There's no war within Russia , DSD holds russian nationality and can travel on her Russian passport. The risk is towards foreigners not russian citizens. They are females so no risk of being conscripted. I think assess the situation is DSD in anyway close to relatives is there a possibility she may never see them again ?

Do you mean that the person that hasn't returned has been held in Russia against their will?

@Nimbostratus100

My relatives on UK passports came back, but their travelling companion on a Russian passport still hasn't.

Shoot, that is worrying. I’m so sorry. Can you share any more details about the whys and wherefores? Don’t worry if not, you don’t have if it’s delicate / traumatic etc. thanks for your insight.

Also could she even get travel insurance?

sorry, I dont really want to say any more than that about what happened- we dont think they are "safe and well" though. This was an adult, not a child.

@Nimbostratus100 I understand, I’m so sorry. That must be terrible for the person in question, their friends and loved ones including you.

wishing you well xx

I doubt that her great-grandmother would want the child to take a risk, big or small, on her account. It’s not something she needs on her conscience at the age of 90-odd if something untoward happened to your DSD.

@Dahliass I get you, but there is tension, suspicion and paranoia on both sides which can have serious consequences

Even when I was studying Russian and living there in the 00s, I remember MI6 and the FSB keeping a v close eye on each other to a comical degree (spy cameras disguised as rocks, secret spy holes surreptitiously drilled into the walls of the British consulate in Moscow etc.) which we all thought was hilarious. I don’t find it so funny any more….

Wouldn't it make more sense for the husband to just talk to his own ex wife before going to court to sue her into submission..... And I also don't think the child's mother is going to force her to go if she's completely unwilling. Are people assuming the ex wife is completely insane just because she's Russian or something?

If DSD doesn’t want to go, her Dad should support her and that should be the end of it. Her mum can choose to take the risk for herself but your DH should put his foot down. DSD will no doubt feel pressured by her mum to go, so your DH should take any legal steps needed to stop her being taken out of the country, if it comes to that.

@Teado that’s my assessment too.

Problem is, and take this for what is as it comes from a biased source (my DH), but DSD’s GPs aren’t the most reasonable or with it people from what I’ve heard. GM is a complete narcissist who thinks the world and everyone in it should bend to her will, while the GD is on a completely different planet to everyone else (so maybe not his fault). If they have any sway over whether this plan goes ahead I’d be concerned 😟

I would definitely not allow this to happen. I agree with others suggesting applying to the courts to prevent her being taken there. They may not be able to stop the passport being renewed, but if there is a safeguarding risk to the child, they can confiscate it.

It’s always best to follow FCDO published advice. This is also what travel insurance companies adhere to.

@candieland

Going to court should be a last resort, but if it all ends up boiling down to a choice between going to court or letting the child go to Russia, I know which option I'd be going for.