Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Settle my inheritance row!

677 replies

LetMeExplain · 05/04/2023 15:41

Long story short, my parents signed their house over to me 10+ years ago, under the caveat that they could live there until the end of their days. This house is my inheritance, as stated in their will.
My mum passed away and my dad can’t afford to stay in the house or manage its upkeep any more. He has a disastrous relationship with money and is basically destitute.
I agreed to sell the house and buy a flat for him, to live in rent free, all he has to pay is his cost. He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 05/04/2023 16:04

Well aren't you a gem!

SwishMyCape · 05/04/2023 16:04

There are also laws against this, its called elder abuse and involves the overt taking of Property under false pretences.

He could go to the Police. I would be advising him to contact Citizens Advice for legal support.

This

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 05/04/2023 16:05

If the house was signed over to you it's your job to manage the upkeep. Bloody hell, this is your dad you're talking about. Unless there's some massive back story about him being an abusive arsehole then you do what's needed to the house and make sure your dad's ok.

sandyhappypeople · 05/04/2023 16:06

Take heed of this people!!

it’s quite a common thing to hand down an asset to avoid inheritance tax/care home fees, seeing as the government want to shaft you for every single penny you’ve ever worked hard for, but it’s important to have a proper legal agreement in place or at least trust the person benefitting from it completely!

I don’t understand why your dad has to pay to stay in his own house though, why are you not covering the bills out of the ample equity, and putting support in place for him so he CAN manage to stay there?

Chickpea17 · 05/04/2023 16:07

SwishMyCape · 05/04/2023 16:04

There are also laws against this, its called elder abuse and involves the overt taking of Property under false pretences.

He could go to the Police. I would be advising him to contact Citizens Advice for legal support.

This

Agreed. Is not her money until her dads dies and she get what ever left!

Lweji · 05/04/2023 16:09

If I understand this correctly, your mum and dad worked and bought a house with the money from their work. The house belonged to both.
They decided to put it in your name, and you basically got it for free, from BOTH of them.
Would you get any part of the house if they didn´t pass it on to you and your dad was still alive?
If yes, then work out how much and give the rest to your dad, or at least arrange a regular transfer if he´s bad with money.
If not, then you are not being fair to your dad. The house was never yours, it was put in your care until both died.

My only concern would be that if he has no money at all, and he needs old age care, eventually, he won´t afford it. And if you spend that money, you won´t either.

So, I would talk to him and put most of the money in a savings account for him, in case he needs that money for care.
When he dies, then you could spend this money.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/04/2023 16:09

Really quite horrified by this!

Tax avoidance, avoiding care home fees and elder abuse all in one.

It’s not your inheritance- it was their property and they gave it to you. That mean you were responsible for its upkeep. You should have kept paying for that throughout your dads lifetime.

It’s also not your inheritance but (morally at least) his money. He and your mum paid for that house over years of paying a mortgage etc. You’ve basically trousered his money and left him high and dry.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/04/2023 16:10

No one has an automatic right to “an inheritance” - especially when the person they would inherit from is alive!

Christmascracker0 · 05/04/2023 16:10

From a tax perspective, he should actually pay rent to live in the current house. If not, the property remains in his estate for IHT until he moves out or dies. It’s an anti avoidance rule basically. Can be a bit of a nightmare but it doesn’t sound like there are many other assets to take into account on his death?

Greentree1 · 05/04/2023 16:11

It's the problem with gifting the property you live in to children to avoid inheritance tax and care home bills. Once you give it to them they can do what they want, how much do you trust your children?

In this case the OP is sort of being reasonable, but pocketing any of the sale money when their father still needs it is a bit bad (the gift of the house or the house value was meant to be final when he dies). I assume the OP will get any remaining cash when their father dies.

Ginmonkeyagain · 05/04/2023 16:11

If your parents genuinely did give you the house then you have to treat your father like any other tenant otherwise it becomes a gift with reservation of benefit and HMRC might become VERY interested.

If you are the genuine owner then:

  1. you are responsible for the maintainance and upkeep of the house, not your father.
  2. He is responsible for the bills (water, energy, council tax etc..) and if he cannot afford them he needs to seek help to maximise his income or move to a cheaper to run property.
  3. Whether you decide to sell your property in order to release capital to help your destitute father rent or buy a cheaper property is for your conscience.

If it is a gift with reservation (eg the property is in your name but your parents continued to live in and maintain the property as if it belonged to them) then it has been a terrible, wrong headed venture to evade tax/care home fees and your father has unintentionally made himself destitute by giving away his biggest asset and you should give it back to him so he can sell it and fund a comfortable lfe in his final years.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 05/04/2023 16:11

So it was a gift, not an inheritance, but it's her house. If she sells it it's her money.

She is going to buy him a home out of her money and let him live there rent free.

Perfectly fine imo.

strawberry2017 · 05/04/2023 16:12

Well technically it's your house and it's yours to do what you like with it.
But do you really want to leave your dad destitute?

Rachie1973 · 05/04/2023 16:13

LetMeExplain · 05/04/2023 15:41

Long story short, my parents signed their house over to me 10+ years ago, under the caveat that they could live there until the end of their days. This house is my inheritance, as stated in their will.
My mum passed away and my dad can’t afford to stay in the house or manage its upkeep any more. He has a disastrous relationship with money and is basically destitute.
I agreed to sell the house and buy a flat for him, to live in rent free, all he has to pay is his cost. He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

You are truly awful.

AspiringMermaid · 05/04/2023 16:14

I am very low contact with my dad, because of emotional abuse and childhood trauma, sometimes I feel fleeting sense of guilt of not being more involved in his life, then I remind myself why and it passes.

Genuinely curious op how do you have the heart to do this??

The house was technically a gift? For tax avoidance/care home fees, with the understanding it would be your inheritance after your parents are dead? Your father is alive. You are choosing to see him destitute... also you will still have an inheritance because you can sell the flat after your poor dad passes.

I hope this isn't real, how greedy are you

Marmight · 05/04/2023 16:14

If you sell it now, you will have a lovely capital gains tax bill too possibly on the whole value of the house as the buying cost was £0. Therefore minus the £6k allowance, you will be paying 28% of the rest of the gain in tax.
Enjoy.

glasshole · 05/04/2023 16:15

If you own the house surely you should be paying 100% off the cost to maintain it. It's actually shocking that you HAVEN'T paid to maintain it. If your dad wants/needs more money then he can rent a room out at a reduced rate and get help with house work etc in exchange for reduced rent.

AFlockOfTigers · 05/04/2023 16:15

Unless the house is really big, I suspect you've landed yourself with a CGT bill far larger than your IHT bill would have been - as well as a huge moral and personal mess.

fortheloveofflowers · 05/04/2023 16:16

But if it’s your house surely you pay the upkeep for it and he just needs to pay bills??

Babsexxx · 05/04/2023 16:16

What a piece of work if I where your dad is be selling/blowing everythingggggg! It’s not yours!!!

WindUpPenguin · 05/04/2023 16:17

If you own the house, why can he no longer afford to live there?

Ginmonkeyagain · 05/04/2023 16:17

If you maintained the house as if your duty as the owner, could your dad afford to stay there?

You are your dad's landlord - I hope you have complied with all your other legal obligations - smoke alarms, EPC, gas safety checks etc..

Ginmonkeyagain · 05/04/2023 16:18

Also if you buy him a flat the issue will still be there - flats are not maintenance free and there will be yearly service charges, sometimes running in to the thousands.

RedemptiveThursday · 05/04/2023 16:18

It's been a while since I did trust law, but I think that a trust has been established here. You are the legal owner of the house, but will not have the beneficial interest until your father dies. He has the beneficial interest until then. He is the life tenant, you are the remainderman (which means you get the beneficial interest when he dies).

You can't sell the assets of the trust and take the proceeds for yourself. Any proceeds of sale will remain for your father's benefit.

You really need formal legal advice here. Also perhaps a functioning moral compass.

OldieButBaddie · 05/04/2023 16:19

Well if it was done to avoid care home fees and your parents continued to live there that would be deliberate deprivation of assets and the property could be required to be transferred back to them and sold for care home fees.

If it was done to avoid IHT and they continued to live there without paying you the market rent that's a gift with reservation of benefit and remains part of the estate, so you would still have to pay IHT if the estate was large enough.

If you also own your own home, then you will also be subject to capital gains tax on the increase in the value of the property since it was gifted to you when you sell as it is not your primary residence.

Technically if the property is yours then he has no legal claim over any profit, however I am very glad I'm not your daughter, you sound very greedy and ungrateful