Page 25 | Settle my inheritance row!

elfies · 18/04/2023 12:46

Apologies, just read the remaining comments , please disregard my post above

Everanewbie · 18/04/2023 12:54

OP. I have sympathy for you here.

Your parents GAVE YOU the house. They enacted a legal instrument to transfer ownership of their home to you with the caveat that they retain the right to live there for the rest of their lives. The purpose of this is either or both, to 1. Reduce Inheritance Tax liability. If they survived 7 years the gift is outside of their estate. 2. To reduce the risk of having to sell their home to fund care fees.

As long as you weren't the one to make that decision and force it upon them, they did it willingly as a tool to avoid IHT and dodge paying care fees and preserve their asset.

Its your house. Your dad has a right to live there til the end of his days rent free. He has no right to demand sale proceeds.

Peoples responses here would be very different if your mum and dad gave you £250,000 then started demanding that money back several years down the line.

SHOLALADY48 · 19/04/2023 20:48

You are taking advantage of your parents. They made a mistake in signing the house over to you. I guess they thought they'd raised you better.

Queenb3062 · 19/04/2023 21:07

Sounds like you should have stepped up when your mom passed and helped with his finances. I had to take over my mom's bank account and managed all her bills after my dad passed.
If they hadn't trusted you ti take care of them, they would have never signed over the house. 10+ years of equity is NOT your money. It belongs to your parents until they are gone. Then you truly inherit the estate.
You should take the profit and put it in HIS bank account. Have your name added, give him a reasonable allowance for groceries, necessities and entertainment, etc. Pay all the bills yourself from the account.
You'll still have the apartment to sell and any remaining assets when the passes. That is your inheritance.

user1492757084 · 20/04/2023 06:22

If you are the owner of the house then just keep it and make a section of it livable for your Dad.

He knows that community.
Apply for at home carers or cleaners to assist him.

Rent out another couple of rooms to students to hlp pay for maintenance..

justlurkinghere · 20/04/2023 07:03

Did your mother gift you the home early knowing that your father isn't good with money and would just waste it away if she died first?

You're doing the right thing making sure your father has a roof over his head (which I assume you will own in your name too). It's not like you've put him out on the street.

Giving him money is more of a mixed thing. You've raised some valid concerns but, if he paid a substantial chunk of the original mortgage, I'd lean towards it would be fair to give him something to help him out, even if not a huge amount.

StoppinBy · 20/04/2023 07:21

Anything your parents leave you is a bonus.

Sell the house if needed, buy your Dad a flat, give him the leftover money and appreciate thst you'll inherit the value of the flat when he dies.

Don't rip your parents off, they presumably worked to buy the house, it's morally theirs until they both die.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 08:06

StoppinBy · 20/04/2023 07:21

Anything your parents leave you is a bonus.

Sell the house if needed, buy your Dad a flat, give him the leftover money and appreciate thst you'll inherit the value of the flat when he dies.

Don't rip your parents off, they presumably worked to buy the house, it's morally theirs until they both die.

If she does any of this her father will be homeless because he owes more money than the house is worth. If she gives him the proceeds his creditors will take it - same with putting a flat in his name. If you read upthread you’ll see why the house was gifted to OP - her dad is a waster.

Everanewbie · 20/04/2023 08:12

Even if you wanted to sale the house you'd be on stoney ground. You own the house but your dad has the right to stay there. I'm not sure you can sell it while your dad is alive without deeds, assignments and so on.

Often we see threads here where parents have made gifts of large lump sums then years down the line demanded something back, and the recipient is never told they're greedy, grabby, disrespectful. There is no difference here.

pam290358 · 20/04/2023 08:16

Queenb3062 · 19/04/2023 21:07

Sounds like you should have stepped up when your mom passed and helped with his finances. I had to take over my mom's bank account and managed all her bills after my dad passed.
If they hadn't trusted you ti take care of them, they would have never signed over the house. 10+ years of equity is NOT your money. It belongs to your parents until they are gone. Then you truly inherit the estate.
You should take the profit and put it in HIS bank account. Have your name added, give him a reasonable allowance for groceries, necessities and entertainment, etc. Pay all the bills yourself from the account.
You'll still have the apartment to sell and any remaining assets when the passes. That is your inheritance.

He’s in a different country to the OP so difficult to oversee finances. The equity does belong to her, as the house legally belongs to her - it was signed over at her mothers’ insistence because her father racked up debts and she knew he would eventually lose the house. If she puts the profit in his bank account his creditors will immediately take it to cover some of what he owes, and if she puts the flat in his name, the same will happen and he’ll be homeless, so the OP will have nothing left of her mothers’ gift and she’ll have to house him as well. His debts are more than the house is worth and passing any of it back to him will mean the debt will wipe it out.

greenlychee · 20/04/2023 08:18

i would rent out the house, and use the proceeds and any profit to pay for renting a smaller flat for the dad.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 08:22

user1492757084 · 20/04/2023 06:22

If you are the owner of the house then just keep it and make a section of it livable for your Dad.

He knows that community.
Apply for at home carers or cleaners to assist him.

Rent out another couple of rooms to students to hlp pay for maintenance..

Difficult to oversee any of this from a different country and leaving her dad vulnerable with strangers in the house.

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 08:29

Everanewbie · 20/04/2023 08:12

Even if you wanted to sale the house you'd be on stoney ground. You own the house but your dad has the right to stay there. I'm not sure you can sell it while your dad is alive without deeds, assignments and so on.

Often we see threads here where parents have made gifts of large lump sums then years down the line demanded something back, and the recipient is never told they're greedy, grabby, disrespectful. There is no difference here.

Looks like she’s already done it. The question she’s asking is should she give him money from her profit from the sale, as he’s demanding this as his right. Given that he’s in massive debt, any lump sum would be claimed by his creditors. OP owns the house legally so I don’t see why she should provide him with any of the profit, given his track record.

pam290358 · 20/04/2023 08:31

greenlychee · 20/04/2023 08:18

i would rent out the house, and use the proceeds and any profit to pay for renting a smaller flat for the dad.

Doesn’t make any sense to sell a property you own to rent somewhere else - rent is dead money.

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 08:37

SHOLALADY48 · 19/04/2023 20:48

You are taking advantage of your parents. They made a mistake in signing the house over to you. I guess they thought they'd raised you better.

Read the thread !! The OPs mother instigated the signing over of the house because her father kept running up debt. He now owes more than the house is worth, has no money for the upkeep and the OP is doing her best to keep a roof over his head. Any money she gives him as a lump sum from the sale profit will be taken by his creditors.

Everanewbie · 20/04/2023 08:39

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 08:29

Looks like she’s already done it. The question she’s asking is should she give him money from her profit from the sale, as he’s demanding this as his right. Given that he’s in massive debt, any lump sum would be claimed by his creditors. OP owns the house legally so I don’t see why she should provide him with any of the profit, given his track record.

Show quote history

Yes sorry, re-read the OP. I think she was incredibly considerate going as far as she did in selling the home and buying a flat.

The monies raised are not his, he has weakened his position my forfeiting his right to stay in the house for the rest of his life.

People should think really carefully before doing this sort of thing. You can't go back on it down the line, legally or morally.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 08:44

TheHoover · 07/04/2023 07:33

He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

hey everyone loving up to OP and hating on the judgers. I’d like you to read the OP very very carefully. yes there is a back story but the attitude of ‘my inheritance’ in the OP is screaming out louder than anything.

whatever the shit that went on between father and mother and father fucking up his own life there is still this massive presumption that OP deserves the money more than he does. Signing over the house was ill advised and created this mess. The surviving parent usually can do whatever they like with their joint accumulated wealth - travel the world, stick it on a horse and…..in many,many cases pay for their care when they need it (yes, reducing the children’s inheritance possibly down to nothing)

There is only one solution here. Sign the house back to your dad.

Except that he can’t do any of that because he owes more than the house is worth. So his creditors will take it and make him homeless. OK then.

diddl · 20/04/2023 08:44

The idea is surely that Op's father has somewhere to live & supports himself to do so?

If Op has sold the house then that is still the case.

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 08:50

justlurkinghere · 20/04/2023 07:03

Did your mother gift you the home early knowing that your father isn't good with money and would just waste it away if she died first?

You're doing the right thing making sure your father has a roof over his head (which I assume you will own in your name too). It's not like you've put him out on the street.

Giving him money is more of a mixed thing. You've raised some valid concerns but, if he paid a substantial chunk of the original mortgage, I'd lean towards it would be fair to give him something to help him out, even if not a huge amount.

OPs mother insisted on gifting the house to the OP because his financial irresponsibility would eventually have made them homeless. He owes a massive amount of money so anything the OP gives him as a lump sum now would go to his creditors.

Everanewbie · 20/04/2023 08:57

If the dad was a joint owner of the house, he would have signed documents to gift the house to you. If no one coerced him then it was his decision. He did it. Its not OPs inheritance, its her asset now, to use for her enjoyment and her family's security.

You can't just recall gifts when you feel like it because you've got yourself into financial trouble.

Best thing you can do for your dad is to meet with his creditors and come up with a repayment plan. Generally, they'd rather get something than nothing at all because he's bankrupt. Keep your assets out of it.

pam290358 · 20/04/2023 09:00

diddl · 20/04/2023 08:44

The idea is surely that Op's father has somewhere to live & supports himself to do so?

If Op has sold the house then that is still the case.

Yes, she’s bought a flat which he will live in as per the original agreement, but he seems to think he’s entitled to the proceeds from the profit as well. Which he’s not, because the OP owns the house that was sold and is honouring the commitment she made to keep a roof over his head.

An awful lot of people missing the point here aren’t there ? If this agreement hadn’t happened the OPs father would have lost the marital home and made himself and the OP’s mum homeless. Instead of which he’s abdicated the responsibility for his financial fecklessness to the OP, lived rent free ever since, and now effectively wants part of the ‘gift’ back even though any lump sum would go to his creditors. And yet the OP is still being criticised !!

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 09:05

allmyliesaretrue · 06/04/2023 20:45

Not triggered at all. Just call out bullshit when I see it.

Show quote history

No bullshit in the OPs posts, just a very clear indication that you’re putting your own spin on things.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 09:08

DotAndCarryOne2 · 20/04/2023 09:05

No bullshit in the OPs posts, just a very clear indication that you’re putting your own spin on things.

Show quote history

Sorry, quote fail, meant for Complexneedsmum.

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 09:21

to all who are criticising the OP as grabby and greedy. If you were gifted £250,000 by your parents and then years later, after your mother had died, your father asked for it back because his recklessness had run up massive debt, would you just hand it back ? Because it’s the same thing. The OP has profited, yes, but she’s honoured the commitment to keep a roof over her fathers’ head the best way she can. The alternative for him would have been financial ruin and homelessness. Instead he’s lived rent free ever since and the OP is doing her best to make sure that continues by buying a flat for him to live in and not giving i large sums of money to waste further.

Someone upthread commented ‘You are taking advantage of your parents. They made a mistake in signing the house over to you. I guess they thought they'd raised you better.’ I don’t understand where this came from because from where I sit, her mother made exactly the right decision in leaving this in the OP’s hand because she did ‘raise her better’ and she’s honoured the agreement to the letter.

Neverhappyalwayshopeful · 20/04/2023 09:23

Rosscameasdoody · 20/04/2023 09:21

to all who are criticising the OP as grabby and greedy. If you were gifted £250,000 by your parents and then years later, after your mother had died, your father asked for it back because his recklessness had run up massive debt, would you just hand it back ? Because it’s the same thing. The OP has profited, yes, but she’s honoured the commitment to keep a roof over her fathers’ head the best way she can. The alternative for him would have been financial ruin and homelessness. Instead he’s lived rent free ever since and the OP is doing her best to make sure that continues by buying a flat for him to live in and not giving i large sums of money to waste further.

Someone upthread commented ‘You are taking advantage of your parents. They made a mistake in signing the house over to you. I guess they thought they'd raised you better.’ I don’t understand where this came from because from where I sit, her mother made exactly the right decision in leaving this in the OP’s hand because she did ‘raise her better’ and she’s honoured the agreement to the letter.

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