Page 24 | Settle my inheritance row!

marzipansux · 07/04/2023 03:46

HomeTheatreSystem · 06/04/2023 21:35

All the best @LetMeExplain , I think you're an absolute bloody Saint still trying to do right by a man whose behaviour must have been a source of endless heartache for you and your mum. He's incredibly lucky to have you but will probably never appreciate that fact.

This is all lovely.
Though as I understand the situation.
Your parents owned a home somewhere ( he is your father not a stepdad)
They gifted it to you ( obviously with the approval of your horrible father).
Your mother has since sadly died.
You own the home but do no maintenance ( garden etc)
Your father wants some of his money back.
You don't like him and want to keep it as he is a wastrel.
You offered to buy him a flat ( presumably in the same country) but he will still have the same problems with money.

Solution 1 - sell the house and give him nothing
Solution 2 - sell the house and give him half - you then have your "inheritance " and if he blows his half you can sleep well at night.
Solution 3 - keep the house, pay for maintenance and all bills until your father dies or has to move to a home.
Solution 4 - Sell and split a different way ( 75/25) for example.

user1492757084 · 07/04/2023 04:34

Does you father mean to back pay rent to you?
If so, he should attend to that.
Is he paying rent in the new place? Is he capable of managing his own affairs?

I would seek legal advice. It sounds quite complicated.

TheaBrandt · 07/04/2023 06:42

Allmylies you do know that if you are married with children and a house you only pay iht on the second death on your estate above £1m? If your estate is beneath that threshold you don’t pay it.

ttcat37 · 07/04/2023 07:09

HallieM93 · 06/04/2023 23:56

Sounds like the opinion of someone that has never been through inheritance trauma, try to be a little more sympathetic.

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“Inheritance trauma” 😂😂😂 don’t be ridiculous. There are many things that are traumatic. The potential to inherit zero is not one of them!

As a family we’ve been disinherited previously without explanation, it really was not traumatic… we never had the money, so didn’t miss it, I still missed my family member though. I didn’t require paying for loving them!

TheHoover · 07/04/2023 07:33

He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

hey everyone loving up to OP and hating on the judgers. I’d like you to read the OP very very carefully. yes there is a back story but the attitude of ‘my inheritance’ in the OP is screaming out louder than anything.

whatever the shit that went on between father and mother and father fucking up his own life there is still this massive presumption that OP deserves the money more than he does. Signing over the house was ill advised and created this mess. The surviving parent usually can do whatever they like with their joint accumulated wealth - travel the world, stick it on a horse and…..in many,many cases pay for their care when they need it (yes, reducing the children’s inheritance possibly down to nothing)

There is only one solution here. Sign the house back to your dad.

MrsCarson · 07/04/2023 08:11

Depending where OP lives some places have no inheritance tax or only tax if you have millions. SHE'S NOT IN UK!
To me it sounds like her mum knew he was unreliable and this was a way he wouldn't end up homeless. So if OP owned the house he couldn't loose it. Sell the house get a flat and let him live there. Pay his moving expenses, don't give him money to piss away.

AFlockOfTigers · 07/04/2023 08:26

MrsCarson · 07/04/2023 08:11

Depending where OP lives some places have no inheritance tax or only tax if you have millions. SHE'S NOT IN UK!
To me it sounds like her mum knew he was unreliable and this was a way he wouldn't end up homeless. So if OP owned the house he couldn't loose it. Sell the house get a flat and let him live there. Pay his moving expenses, don't give him money to piss away.

Actually I think she is in the UK, it's the father and house which are elsewhere. She would presumably have to account for UK CGT, but the UK rules on deprivation of assets for the purposes of care homes and IHT would not apply.

Ohhoho · 07/04/2023 08:33

It’s the warning in King Lear isn’t it, father gives away inheritance before he dies assuming daughters will look after him in his dotage and daughters refuse. That is the tragedy.

HomeTheatreSystem · 07/04/2023 09:08

TheHoover · 07/04/2023 07:33

He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

hey everyone loving up to OP and hating on the judgers. I’d like you to read the OP very very carefully. yes there is a back story but the attitude of ‘my inheritance’ in the OP is screaming out louder than anything.

whatever the shit that went on between father and mother and father fucking up his own life there is still this massive presumption that OP deserves the money more than he does. Signing over the house was ill advised and created this mess. The surviving parent usually can do whatever they like with their joint accumulated wealth - travel the world, stick it on a horse and…..in many,many cases pay for their care when they need it (yes, reducing the children’s inheritance possibly down to nothing)

There is only one solution here. Sign the house back to your dad.

I think OP is struggling with the temptation to do just that vs trying to help him keep a roof over his head which he has just enough income of his own to run.
Were she to give him the money from the sale of the house, his creditors would take it all leaving him homeless. Is that a desirable outcome in your view?

GnomeDePlume · 07/04/2023 10:10

If you read @LetMeExplain 's posts you will see she is well aware of the various tax implications.

This is not some kindly old man being diddled out of his assets. If he had kept the house he would already be homeless. His debts exceed any assets he has ever had.

'D'F is now wanting to change the terms of the agreement. He wants the cash profit on the sale of the house. To do what with? I would doubt he is planning on paying his creditors. It will be for more booze/bitcoin/3 legged racehorses.

If she gives him the cash he will burn his way through it then he will be back to @LetMeExplain for more.

I have a brother who squanders any money he has. Always on 'brilliant' moneymaking schemes. Every time they cost him more than he has and he is back to DM with sad eyes and a tale of how he was done down.

smiffy73 · 07/04/2023 10:51

Rigsby2023 · 05/04/2023 15:48

OP does.

OP may have a large capital gains tax bill if they sold the house now, if the value has risen in the past 10 years. They wouldn’t have had this bill if the house had been kept by the parents.

I expect this was all about trying to evade any potential care home costs.

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This is exactly right. My parents had this in their wills, should either of them die I would get the house with a lifetime rent to the surviving parent. This was so that they wouldn't be forced to sell the house to pay for care home costs and to secure my inheritance. I sadly lost my mum 5 years ago and my Dad still lives in the house. To be honest, I don't see it as my house at all just now, my Dad lives there and is free to do whatever he wants to anything on the property. If he ever decides that he wants to downsize, we have agreed that we will sell the house, buy whatever he wants and split any profit that is left.

HomeTheatreSystem · 07/04/2023 10:54

GnomeDePlume · 07/04/2023 10:10

If you read @LetMeExplain 's posts you will see she is well aware of the various tax implications.

This is not some kindly old man being diddled out of his assets. If he had kept the house he would already be homeless. His debts exceed any assets he has ever had.

'D'F is now wanting to change the terms of the agreement. He wants the cash profit on the sale of the house. To do what with? I would doubt he is planning on paying his creditors. It will be for more booze/bitcoin/3 legged racehorses.

If she gives him the cash he will burn his way through it then he will be back to @LetMeExplain for more.

I have a brother who squanders any money he has. Always on 'brilliant' moneymaking schemes. Every time they cost him more than he has and he is back to DM with sad eyes and a tale of how he was done down.

Agreed. I also think that at these rare junctures where assets are being liquidated to clear the latest lot of debts, the exasperated financially prudent partner says to feckless partner, "I'm not signing any paperwork to help get you out of your latest lot of debt unless we transfer the roof over our heads safely out of your reach." Just about the one and only time they can be persuaded to do the right thing. I'm guessing that's what happened here.

Pepsi2001 · 07/04/2023 12:15

Your so funny well maybe in your own head 😘

Messyhair321 · 07/04/2023 22:18

DotAndCarryOne2 · 05/04/2023 21:32

But it’s not a question of him not wanting it any more. He can’t afford the upkeep. It depends on whether the OP can afford to take that on and whether there was anything in the agreement compelling her to do so. She can’t win here can she - if she passes ownership of it back to him, she will be making him homeless as it will be sold to pay his debts. If she sells it and moves him into a flat that he can afford to maintain she’s not honouring the agreement, and if she doesn’t give him whatever’s left from the sale, she’s grabby - even though she knows if she gives him money he’ll waste it, and that was what her mother wanted to avoid.

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Then they need a legal 3rd party to help them with it. But OP won't want that because she's probably been trying to avoid inheritance tax

ReallyTryingTo · 07/04/2023 23:28

If it was still in your parents name and he sold the house, he'd have plenty of money to spare in the difference of the flat vs house to live on I'd imagine. Your moral compass needs recalibrating

Mossstitch · 08/04/2023 00:08

ReallyTryingTo · 07/04/2023 23:28

If it was still in your parents name and he sold the house, he'd have plenty of money to spare in the difference of the flat vs house to live on I'd imagine. Your moral compass needs recalibrating

No he wouldn't, people should really read and understand before commenting. Op has already explained that he's been bankrupt in the past so the house would have gone and neither he, nor op's mum before her death, would have had a roof over their heads! She has also stated that his debts are worth more than the house is worth!

All the best @LetMeExplain 💐

Justdontbejudgy · 08/04/2023 01:21

Please look after an old man properly. I hope you're not avoiding tax or care home fees , but I suspect that was the original intention. However "bad" he is with money, just make sure he has access to what is his and his needs are met.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 08/04/2023 14:49

Messyhair321 · 07/04/2023 22:18

Then they need a legal 3rd party to help them with it. But OP won't want that because she's probably been trying to avoid inheritance tax

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Her DF isn’t in this country and there’s no mention of how much the house is worth. IHT is only payable on death and if her DF has been living there for over 7 years and paying for the upkeep, that won’t be payable providing he’s paid the market rent, which hopefully she’s declared to HMRC. Lot of if’s though.

Somersetgirl1 · 09/04/2023 00:40

allmyliesaretrue · 06/04/2023 21:42

Unless you see IHT for what it is? DH and I have paid tax on our income all of our working lives, and used some of what was left of our salaries to pay for the mortgage on our family home. So, we kick the bucket at some time (hopefully far in the future) and we pass on in our will the home we've spent a lifetime paying for, living in and maintaining, but, our children have to pay tax again on what we've already paid tax on? Fuck that! And you think that's fair, why? Millionaires and billionaires can circumvent the tax system in so many ways - now I am presuming there's not a lot of multimillionaires posting here but WTF would average working people not try to find a way to stop the greedy fucking bastarding government from getting their grabby hands on more of what these people have spent a lifetime as the custodian of their property, in order to pass it on to their children?!

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Absolutely nothing wrong with legitimately avoiding tax but the super rich have the means to both pay for very complex advice and to set up such schemes, whereas many 'ordinary folk' are simply unable to do this

Nicklebox · 09/04/2023 16:16

You will need to pay Capital gains tax on any profit between the time it became yours and when it was sold. Also i think your dad deserves to have enough money to live on until he passes away

Xenia · 09/04/2023 19:02

The thread screams out for the poster needing both an English solicitor and a lawyer in the country where the house is located. However it does seem the house is owned by the poster so it doesn't matter what is morallyright or not. Her mother's wishes were acted on and the house is hers with the father simply having a right to live there for life (presumably rent free).

HomeTheatreSystem · 09/04/2023 19:27

Nicklebox · 09/04/2023 16:16

You will need to pay Capital gains tax on any profit between the time it became yours and when it was sold. Also i think your dad deserves to have enough money to live on until he passes away

Maybe read the OP's posts so you avoid going over old ground?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 11/04/2023 13:06

Nicklebox · 09/04/2023 16:16

You will need to pay Capital gains tax on any profit between the time it became yours and when it was sold. Also i think your dad deserves to have enough money to live on until he passes away

This may not apply as the OP’s DF is in a different country, but under UK law it’s the person gifting the property who is liable for CGT and it’s not payable if it’s the main home of the person who gifted the property and they have lived in it without letting it out. As DH had lived at the property up to gifting it to the OP and has lived there since, I don’t think CGT applies.

Throwncrumbs · 11/04/2023 13:14

LetMeExplain · 05/04/2023 16:39

He is beyond ridiculous with money and has accumulated a lot of debt, more than the house is worth.

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So he gave you the house to avoid paying his debts….you both sound awful!

elfies · 18/04/2023 12:43

Dear God , your dad bought the property ...its his . any profit is his .
Till he dies, its not yours .
How have you survived childhood, if he didn't provide for you ?
Have you no sympathy empathy or love for someone who cared for you.
Could you not have helped him before it came to this ?