To have really struggled with this at work today?

[098j]

I'll preface by saying that I have handed in my notice at work as I know it's not suitable for me, I functioned a lot better in my previous work environment so am looking for a new job that is better suited for me. I also strongly suspected that I am autistic.

This morning I logged onto work feeling really stressed out about a project of mine so I was already feeling overwhelmed. I find Mondays stressful as I have lots of meetings, so it's hard to get actual work done.

My manager messaged me and apologised for the late notice but that it was my turn to do 'show and tell' in our team meeting that morning (where we talk about something interesting we've recently watched/read/seen - usually something like a recent museum exhibit or art gallery they have attended) and they had forgotten to tell me. I had nothing prepared for it, and it just took me completely by surprise and I just burst into tears (I was WFH). I know I would have been expected to just muddle something together last minute but I can't. I get anxious speaking up in meetings that if I had known it was my time I would have spent my entire weekend thinking up something to talk about and preparing for it. If it had been a work-related presentation I would have been ok, but I find these more casual ice breaker kind of things stressful.

I feel silly for reacting like that, and don't know why I couldn't have just got on with it. I don't understand why I'm like this

Oh god I would have put on a brave laugh and said “as no one told me until today I’m not prepared so I’ll treat everyone to a short meeting today.” Smile while tumbleweed passes and they realise you mean it. I hate being put on the spot like that. Happy to be thrown a work related curve ball (my line of work is full of those) but personal unnecessary stuff? Nope. So many people would feel uncomfortable so don’t feel bad.

I watched some Jordan Peterson videos on how to not care what people think of you , they helped me a lot with those feelings of fear/social anxiety.

Perhaps look for some videos or reading material on the topic?
While you have handed in your notice, things like this could crop up again in life so it wouid be a good idea to try to work on it.
Try not to feel bad about it op We all struggle with things but you can get better at it.

So your company gets people to do presentations based on things they did at the weekend? As a regular thing? Have I got that right? That is the maddest thing I’ve ever heard and what a waste of people’s time. Am not surprised you burst into tears. I would have just said I’d been working on my projects so unless they wanted to hear about me playing games on my tablet to chill out, then let’s skip this week. And like you, been looking for another job. Can’t employers treat their staff like grown adults?

I would have said " I stayed home and watched paint dry. I like to keep my private life private."
I bet your colleagues will thank you. It sounds like a twattish policy anyway.

Oh, being on notice I would have had so much fun with this..

"Show and tell" in a place of work? Do lots of companies waste time in this way? Sounds ridiculous unless you are a school child.

it was my turn to do 'show and tell' in our team meeting that morning (where we talk about something interesting we've recently watched/read/seen -

Grown people participate in this drivel?You're having a laugh!

Urgh. I would have been right there with you op. Utterly ridiculous and unacceptable to foist it on you last minute too. Hope you find something that is better for you!

I feel you OP! I’d have done the same. That’s a daft thing to be asking staff to do anyway as part of team meetings, but even more so as you are leaving and clearly have more important stuff to focus on work-wise.

I’d just have told your manager you didn’t know about it and didn’t have time to prepare (on account of having, you know, actual work to focus on) so (polite version of) tough shit.

The only time I’ve worked somewhere with a similar policy was when we did ‘random question time’ at the end of team meetings, but the questions were silly ones like ultimate karaoke song/biscuit etc. It was cringe and annoying but was instigated during lockdown so in fairness to our bosses, I do think they had all begun losing the plot a bit.

YANBU. If that had been sprung on me today they're have heard all about what DS and I did in Minecraft over the weekend. (Built a glass under sea tunnel to an Ocean Monument then a huge glass wall around it and removed the water. Took ages, and I can't blame DS as it was my idea.)

It's not school why are you doing show and tell. Your boss needs to grow up.

What a waste of everyone’s time this sounds, show and bloody tell. You should have shown a list of all the work you’ve got to do and told them you haven’t got time for this nonsense.

What happened, did your manager say it was okay to not do it because you were upset?

I'm junior at work so didn't feel able to say that I'm not doing it. I just said I didn't have time to prepare, so I think I'm going next week instead :(

God I would hate that, especially last minute. I bet everyone else hates it aswell. Did you do it OP?

Wtf??

Show and tell is the highlight of many of my colleagues’ weeks and they plan carefully all week (we have it on Friday afternoons).

I teach 5 year olds.

Show and tell does not belong in the workplace. What a waste of everyone’s time.

We stopped show and tell at my school because a, it was dire and b, it was a waste of time and c, it was massively unfair and (at times) intrusive. Nothing kills a buzz faster than a six year old saying they spent the weekend feeling sad because their mum and dad were arguing or their dog died.

I will go against the grain and say that the OP's reaction in a workplace was over the top and very childish

Yes the icebreaker may not be ideal but it is probably your manager's attempt to get to know the staff beyond their roles and bring a little' 'fun' to the meeting before the main agenda items

Why not pick a book off your bookshelf to speak about, explain why you liked it, give a summary of what it is about etc-ready material at your hands

No one is grading your presentation and you have now been allowed to present next week instead so I assume that had you just spoken to your manager like an adult, and asked to present next week this would have been agreed without the tears

You may find that in your new workplace you are asked on the spot in a team meeting to tell the team about yourself, your interests etc so cannot run away from on the spot discussions/ presentations etc

Maybe think of some general bits that you are happy to share about yourself on the spot, about a hobby, interest etc

As you said yourself, knowing in advance about the presentation in advance would have caused you stress all weekend, now you have a whole week to worry rather than just winging it at short notice and hoping for the best, the expectation of the quality of the presentation that you give next week will be higher as you have now had notice to prepare something better

Don't take yourself so seriously, most people will not have thought any more of your morning presentation beyond the time slot anyway

This reminds me of the episode of Desert Island Discs, when the (old codger jazz musician) was asked what luxury he'd like on his Desert Island, and he said quite meekly really .... "Could I have a load of pictures of pretty ladies not wearing many clothes?"

I mean, this exercise is just asking for a TMI type response, isn't it?

What? Show and tell for adults? I'd have felt anxious too, OP, especially with no notice. YANBU.

I bloody hate things like this. And also when they say 'tell us something about you no one knows'. Well, the reason no one knows is because it's private and I don't want anyone to know!

Sorry it made you feel crap OP. I think these things tend to happen a lot more in the workplace these days. Maybe it's worth having a few scenarios 'in the bank' in case you ever get asked something similar again.

OP, YANBU- at all! I’d have been very anxious too but change and unexpected things throw me off as I’m autistic

I think lots of people would be uncomfortable with this. Don’t worry about how others perceive your reaction, they probably all cringe too when it’s their turn

I don't really enjoy things like this but I do think you've massively overreacted. Surely it's easy to think of something on the spot about something like that - unless you do nothing in your spare time. I actually can't think of anything worse than spending all weekend preparing for something at work, especially something so trivial.

Show and Tell??!!!. What like at primary school.?. I'd have said I, ll show you my ass!!!.

Agreed. Hopefully your tears this morning might encourage someone in management to reflect on whether this expectation is in any way helpful - and conclude that it isn’t.
What a load of rubbish . Some weird idea to waste people’s time.

As you’re leaving anyway just tell your manager you’re not doing it.