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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

522 replies

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:38

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

OP posts:
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ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 19:12

turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly · 03/04/2023 19:09

Next stop on this journey brother gets jailed,tops himself,queue PS documentary on suicide in prison followed by a book deal...I can see it coming.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Despicable little worm that he is.

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:13

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 19:05

Not in the eyes of the victim who has been unable to prove the abuse because these things generally happen without witnesses...but as long as it's ok in the eyes of the law?

He admitted it before court ffs. I have seen first hand the devastation of not having enough evidence causes the victim in a work capacity. The first thing I say is it is not about believing innocence - it is just there isn't enough evidence.

Show quote history

Maybe read the context to this comment? Someone asked if PS would've stood by his brother IF he had been found not guilty - and I said he would've done, because in the eyes of the law not guilty means innocent.

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 19:16

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:13

Maybe read the context to this comment? Someone asked if PS would've stood by his brother IF he had been found not guilty - and I said he would've done, because in the eyes of the law not guilty means innocent.

Show quote history

Sometimes the law is unable to prove things beyond the threshold of reasonable doubt. This does not mean the person has been proven innocent. There's actually no such thing.

Ellie1015 · 03/04/2023 19:19

Yes i would disown a family member who abused children. I couldnt look at them again.

I find it surprising you can understand no contact (which is basically the same result) but you can't relate to disowning someone.

The only difference i see is no contact is because of how they treat you where as in the case of a paedophile/murderer they have done something awful to someone else.

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:19

ReadersD1gest · 03/04/2023 19:16

Sometimes the law is unable to prove things beyond the threshold of reasonable doubt. This does not mean the person has been proven innocent. There's actually no such thing.

Show quote history

No, it doesn't meant they've been proved innocent but they would be within their rights to say 'I've been found innocent of the charges'. That's what acquitted people do. That's how the law stands.

Again, the context was someone asking if PS would've stood by his brother after a NG verdict and I was saying he would've, and he'd use the above justification.

But it's a moot point. The brother's guilty, going to jail and PS will forever be tainted by assocation.

JKTrolling · 03/04/2023 19:20

dayswithaY · 03/04/2023 19:04

How much longer can Smug Phil cling on to This Morning? I’m surprised Holly’s advisers haven’t told her to bail out quick.

She’s not going to come out of it squeaky clean herself.

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 19:21

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:13

Maybe read the context to this comment? Someone asked if PS would've stood by his brother IF he had been found not guilty - and I said he would've done, because in the eyes of the law not guilty means innocent.

Show quote history

Well yes, he could have probably convinced himself if the decision was 'not guilty' except his brother already told him so it's a moot point in this context.

VeronicaTimeTurner · 03/04/2023 19:22

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BlueBunting · 03/04/2023 19:22

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This….

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:23

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 19:21

Well yes, he could have probably convinced himself if the decision was 'not guilty' except his brother already told him so it's a moot point in this context.

Show quote history

I think the PP who asked meant in the context of there had been no damning confession etc, that it came down to brother's word against the victim.

Anyhow, all irrelevant. Justice has prevailed.

PotterofGryfindor · 03/04/2023 19:24

YetiTeri · 03/04/2023 18:24

PS couldn't have released a statement disowning his brother as that would have been subjudice.

THIS

All those saying he should’ve disowned him when he first found out are showing a lack of understanding about our legal process.

I personally would disown anyone in my family other than my own children. But then despite my own abusive childhood my own children have had a loving upbringing free from abuse.

Justalittlebitduckling · 03/04/2023 19:24

I have a family member who escaped jail for a lesser but similar crime and it has basically divided the family down the middle: some have cut off all contact and others support him and see him regularly. I’m done with him and don’t wish for my kids to be anywhere near him.

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:25

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He's never been convicted, so calling him one is defamatory.

Nimrode · 03/04/2023 19:25

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This is exactly what I thought. Infact, i thought that was what the thread was going to be about. He'd do well to keep his mouth shut!

TakingMilesFromInches · 03/04/2023 19:26

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:25

He's never been convicted, so calling him one is defamatory.

Show quote history

Why are you so keen to fight his corner? Suspicious.

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 19:26

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:23

I think the PP who asked meant in the context of there had been no damning confession etc, that it came down to brother's word against the victim.

Anyhow, all irrelevant. Justice has prevailed.

Show quote history

I agree with that.

I think your initial comment maybe didn't read well. It's a very sensitive subject (obviously!) so bound to evoke strong emotions with the whole 'innocent' because NG but I understand your point now.

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:27

PotterofGryfindor · 03/04/2023 19:24

THIS

All those saying he should’ve disowned him when he first found out are showing a lack of understanding about our legal process.

I personally would disown anyone in my family other than my own children. But then despite my own abusive childhood my own children have had a loving upbringing free from abuse.

Show quote history

Exactly. PS was a prosecution witness. If he'd issued a statement ahead of the proceedings condemning his brother he'd have been in contempt of court and it probably would've caused a mistrial.

Charlottewebsbabies · 03/04/2023 19:27

My cousin is in the process of being tried for grooming underage girls

His age of choice is 13-15 year olds

He's got 5 pregnant,raped at least 10 others and god knows how many more just haven't come forward

His wife,2 dds (who are about the same age as his victims) and my whole family are standing by him as 'anyone can make a mistake' !

It wasn't a mistake-he made his choices-over and over again

His own mum was heard squealing that the girls 'teased him', 'lead him on','lied about their ages' and 'shouldn't have walked round in those outfits'

I've not spoken to any of them in nearly 20 years-id celebrate if any of them died tomorrow

His neice was caught up in the Rotherham gangs (not in rotherham-they spread out) but it was her 'own fault' for getting caught up in it as a naive teenager

As if a 14 year old girl could make the choice to sleep with endless 40-50 year old men

If I haven't gone nc with them,I would have done already-how the hell they can look him in the eye and defend him is beyond me-its disgusting

They all plan to go to court with him and support him-what about his victims?they don't matter

Ps is protecting ps-nobody else

He knew-and is only backing away as his career is at stake

If he gave a damn,he would have come forward at the time,not kept his gob shut-I know I would have done

Give it time and we'll all be saying 'well,the signs where there-we just missed them'

Just like we did with js

PotterofGryfindor · 03/04/2023 19:27

@JKTrolling go on then, what is Holly a used off?

PotterofGryfindor · 03/04/2023 19:28

That was meant to accused, bloody autocorrect

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 19:28

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 19:26

I agree with that.

I think your initial comment maybe didn't read well. It's a very sensitive subject (obviously!) so bound to evoke strong emotions with the whole 'innocent' because NG but I understand your point now.

Show quote history

I apologise. It was clumsily worded. I was talking on a point of law, but I can see how it could've been misconstrued.

readbooksdrinktea · 03/04/2023 19:28

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 03/04/2023 19:12

If you can honestly say you would sit there with someone whose a pedo, there's something massively wrong with you.

Yes, I can't wrap my head around that either.

KTSl1964 · 03/04/2023 19:28

PS is a twunt!!! He’s now back peddling desperately before he returns back to ITV - I hope his brother has dirt on PS seeing as he’s now disowned him and spills the truth. They are both not nice men and there is something very odd about two brothers having an interest in young boys. Fuck of Philip your in your 50s - how his wife and children tolerate the smugness of him and how he treated her and only came out because it was going to be revealed.
ITV need to get rid and maybe people will boycott that programme.

SpaghettifingerFusillitoe · 03/04/2023 19:29

Agree with pps but he’s probably had to say this career wise and couldn’t say it before as it’s prejudice an ongoing trial. I’d assume he’s had a lot of legal advice on this

drpet49 · 03/04/2023 19:30

WheelsUp · 03/04/2023 17:53

I find it shocking that there's nothing that would make you disown a sibling. There are some really nasty pieces of work out there like the person who's been sent down today for killing a NINE year old over gang crap. I could
not "be there" for someone who knowingly inflicted such pain and suffering on an innocent.

This OP.