Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

522 replies

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 17:38

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
WannabeMarieKondo · 04/04/2023 06:47

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:41

I honestly don't know aaaandbreathe. It's not something I want to think about. I really don't know what I'd think in that situation. I really don't.

Show quote history

You seriously could envision supporting a son who did this to his sister or brother, and you have to think about it ??

have you any idea how that would be for the abused sibling ?

flutterbyebaby · 04/04/2023 06:48

Clymene · 04/04/2023 06:45

I think you've misunderstood. PS knew what his brother was doing but didn't report it. He just told him not to do it again. So long before any legal proceedings.

Show quote history

It seems pointless to explain, a lot of people just don't seem to be seeing what the rest of us do. He will be playing the victim yet again crying in HW arms in TM sofa

WannabeMarieKondo · 04/04/2023 06:49

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:38

I'm not saying offenders should not face punishment. If a child of mine, or a sibling, committed a serious crime then absolutely they should face the consequences - prison for a very long time. There is a big difference between not disowning someone, and condoning someone's acts. I would never ever in a million years condone a serious crime or not say it was bad and deserved a suitable consequence. I'm just saying I don't know if I could go so far as to disown my family member or say 'as far as I'm concerned, you are no longer my brother..'

Show quote history

There is no crime so bad ? Jimmy Saville ? Fred West ? Seriously ?

OneFrenchEgg · 04/04/2023 06:49

YetiTeri · 04/04/2023 06:38

The most important part of a court case is that the victim gets justice. In fact nothing else matters.

So it's really shocking that so many people on here do not understand that if PS had made ANY kind of public statement about it prior to the conviction that could well have made the case collapse and the victim would have been through this all for nothing.

Again...YOU CANNOT JUDGE PS FOR NOT MAKING A STATEMENT BEFORE NOW BECAUSE THAT IS THE LAW.

No people are shocked that his actions have been - so nothing despite being told and you can see the mid part of his statement tried to adress that. Which might work but it leaves the question - if it wasn't a crime in September 2021 why was it a crime in November 2021. It could be down to what was revealed but surely any normal response would be 'tell me what you've done' or report just in case for someone else to investigate - children's services/adult services / police etc.

OneFrenchEgg · 04/04/2023 06:49

*do not so

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 04/04/2023 06:52

Shame he didn't go straight to the police when he was first told about the abuse his brother did instead of sitting on it for months rather than disowning him after he was found guilty! I wonder if its all to close to home for Philth Schofield and his own deeds.

Clymene · 04/04/2023 06:56

This is what you get when you search his name on the bbc website. It's very curious that the brother of a really high profile media figure gets convicted of horrific abuse and the bbc doesn't think it's worth reporting on

Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."
EnterFunnyNameHere · 04/04/2023 07:04

I'm not sure that I would care that I was "all they had" if I found my sibling was abusing children, or committed some other similarly heinous crime. In that instance, they wouldn't deserve to have "anybody".

Yes, there might/probably be trauma involved, but by far and away most people who have suffered trauma do NOT go on to traumatised others through abuse. Which means it comes down to a degree to a personal choice by some people to be abusive.

The only possible option where I'd have much sympathy would be people who end up in a cult or something where they are so brainwashed they have no meaningful idea what's wrong from what's right. But even then I'm not sure that would fully excuse people

Mammillaria · 04/04/2023 07:37

Clymene · 04/04/2023 06:56

This is what you get when you search his name on the bbc website. It's very curious that the brother of a really high profile media figure gets convicted of horrific abuse and the bbc doesn't think it's worth reporting on

The media are very strange around him generally.

There's an article in today's Daily Fail that is ostensibly supportive but dripping in sarcasm and carefully placed facts.

Such a contrast to the unrestrained media coverage he got over queuegate.

Inkanta · 04/04/2023 07:39

Clymene · 04/04/2023 06:56

This is what you get when you search his name on the bbc website. It's very curious that the brother of a really high profile media figure gets convicted of horrific abuse and the bbc doesn't think it's worth reporting on

Yes I see nothing reported by the BBC and the Mail's top story is all about sympathy for Phillip Schofield.

Enfys1982 · 04/04/2023 07:50

Philip doesn’t deserve anyone ones sympathy. He’s cut from the same cloth as his brother. Everyone knows it. The press know it and need to expose him.

OneFrenchEgg · 04/04/2023 08:11

There's an article in today's Daily Fail that is ostensibly supportive but dripping in sarcasm and carefully placed facts.

I posted the same last night; it's very 'read between the lines'

OperationMalena · 04/04/2023 08:17

Even though it is not his crime, I do hope this is now the last we see of Philip Schofield. He is f*cking annoying. He should have been canned when he threw his wife under a bus when he came out to save his skin after his own hushed-up scandal.

If he comes back to the TV he is going to be insufferable. He will be on the sofa crying with Holly sticking up for him in a vomit-inducing fashion.

Inkanta · 04/04/2023 08:20

OneFrenchEgg · 04/04/2023 08:11

There's an article in today's Daily Fail that is ostensibly supportive but dripping in sarcasm and carefully placed facts.

I posted the same last night; it's very 'read between the lines'

Yes have just read it. It does have a sarcastic tone around poor old Phill.

Mammillaria · 04/04/2023 08:22

@OneFrenchEgg so you did, I think I missed a page of the thread somehow!

Pretty obvious, isn't it?!

HRTQueen · 04/04/2023 08:22

PS will always put himself and his career before anyone

thinks nothing of humiliating his wife to gain public sympathy in coming out before the story broke of him and a very young runner who he had known for a number of years

im surprised that some of these posts are still standing

ancientgran · 04/04/2023 08:24

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 22:51

Where have I said I have sympathy for a paedophile? Nowhere.

I have said that I would hate the crime, that no crime is ok, that abuse is deplorable and horrendous..I have said that I would be pleased to see the perpetrator face the consequences of their crime and go to prison.

My OP is simply just questioning whether I could disown a sibling for having committed a serious crime. I don't know if I would go so far as to say or feel 'i no longer have a brother'. But maybe I would. I don't know. But a big part of me feels that even if it was me that shopped my brother to the police (which I would do if I found out they'd committed a serious crime), and even if what they did was horrendous. I still think I would b there for them in some way. Maybe visit them in prison (perhaps not initially as I think I'd be too angry and feel too sick about what they'd done.) If I was too devastated by what they'd done to see them again, I still don't think I'd completely disown them. I don't think I could say 'they are not my brother'. Because, well, they are and would still be related to me..I don't think I could completely disown. But I don't know.

I was wondering other people's thoughts and where the line is for people to disown family and many have responded to the thread and said they would disown a sibling for serious crimes like child abuse. There has been more dissonance around disowning children.

Show quote history

You might as well give up, they will continue to twist what you say and they won't give up.

OneFrenchEgg · 04/04/2023 08:34

Mammillaria · 04/04/2023 08:22

@OneFrenchEgg so you did, I think I missed a page of the thread somehow!

Pretty obvious, isn't it?!

Yup I read it as 'no love lost here'.

Inkanta · 04/04/2023 08:41

flutterbyebaby · 04/04/2023 06:48

It seems pointless to explain, a lot of people just don't seem to be seeing what the rest of us do. He will be playing the victim yet again crying in HW arms in TM sofa

Show quote history

Yes the statement makes him look shallow and only interested in saving himself and his career. And next he will try and play the victim to induce sympathy.

Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 04/04/2023 08:50

knittingaddict · 04/04/2023 04:24

Out of all the attitudes on this thread I find yours the most shocking op. You obviously hold to the adage that blood is thicker than water. Personally I find that a bit ludicrous. Not judge someone because of an accident of birth? I don't think so.

All I've said is, I don't know what I'd do and think I'd find it hard to completely disown a sibling. It's probably because I adore my siblings and can't imagine them ever doing this, so hard to put myself in that situation. I have already said, if it did actually happen, I really don't know what I'd do or how I'd react.

I've never ever said I'd condone what they did or not think it horrendous.

There is a big difference between not saying 'I no longer have a brother'/disowning your brother, and condoning what they did. It feels like some people are suggesting that because I am not sure I'd disown a sibling completely, and may visit them in prison, that somehow means I'm condoning what they did or not seeing the crimes as horrendous. That is not the case. You can can absolutely hate the crime and what has been done, while not disowning someone completely.

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 04/04/2023 08:54

i dont think you can though op
peopple will see you visiting as supporting them in what they did

would you also sit in co9rt near their victims and support you family

Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 04/04/2023 08:57

WannabeMarieKondo · 04/04/2023 06:47

You seriously could envision supporting a son who did this to his sister or brother, and you have to think about it ??

have you any idea how that would be for the abused sibling ?

Show quote history

Supporting? Well there's different levels isn't there. And there's a big big difference between disowning a child and condoning what they did. I would never condone what they did and would always feel sickened, shocked and angry I suppose.

I adore my children. I love them unconditionally. If one did something horrendous I don't know how I'd act, or what I'd think, but I can't imagine disowning them completely, saying they are no longer my child. I think I would feel some guilt that I hadn't raised them properly and this is how they've turned out.

Obviously this situation I would stand.by the child who had been the victim. I would feel terrible this had happened, and some responsibility I'd not been able to protect them. I'd offer them all the love and support I could. But whether I could go so far as to never see the perpetrator again, completely deny they are my child. I don't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
DancingWithMashedPotato · 04/04/2023 08:58

WannabeMarieKondo · 04/04/2023 06:49

There is no crime so bad ? Jimmy Saville ? Fred West ? Seriously ?

Show quote history

Maybe they would be the line Wannabe.

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 04/04/2023 09:07

so for example your son abuses your daughter

you wouldnt cut off your son even though your daughter would be scarred for life and probably wouldnt trust you again because you refuse to stop seeing your son?

i know id never forgive you for that if i were her

Fuckityfuckfuck123 · 04/04/2023 09:11

There are so many rumours about him too though aren't there?
Maybe he has to seem to be hard in his approach or people will maybe believe the rumours more?

Swipe left for the next trending thread