Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

[DancingWithMashedPotato]

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.""

Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle.

However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react

I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU?

What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

Exactly this.

Whilst it's obviously vile as fuck, it isn't illegal for a 50 year old man and 16 year old boy to have sex so PS couldn't have reported it to the police as the police couldn't have done anything

This is what I put earlier which is what I think :
...it leaves the question - if it wasn't a crime in September 2021 why was it a crime in November 2021. It could be down to what was revealed but surely any normal response would be 'tell me what you've done' or report just in case for someone else to investigate - children's services/adult services / police etc.

@PotterofGryfindor yes, I have had clients do that. As far as I know none of them had offended. None recent, I like to think they wouldn't offend but I can't possibly know.

Why is it frightening?

Contacted the boy's parents who were, presumably, unaware. Maybe even contact the safeguarding lead at the boy's school/college.

What would you do if you found out a 50 year old that you knew was having sex with a 16 year old child?

I couldn't forget a shared 40+ of amazing history with my sibling. Also I'm not a virtue signalling hypocrite.

Well as I don't know.

But in many cases contacting the parents would be highly unlikely to be in the best interest of the 16 year old involved.

Sorry but have we covered why you joined Mumsnet or changed name to start this thread?

I'm fed up with "planted" threads on here!

Of course you aren’t a virtue signaller, you’re a peado apologist.

I've been on Mumsnet for ages. I have name changed because, as you can see from this thread, this is a v v emotive subject. Some people on the thread seem to be equating a thought that I may not want to completely disown a sibling for a serious crime and perhaps would visit them once or twice in prison (although it's hypothetical, so I may not think this if it actually happened. Maybe I would disown them. Who knows), with me being almost as bad as the offender. That's a little scary. Thus, I have name changed to protect myself and my anonymity. I think most people would.

If that's what you think that's your opinion. I'm not saying what I would actually do if I ever found myself in that situation but I know I couldn't suddenly disregard 40+ years of positive memories and all that love. (As an aside, I was abused between the ages of about 6-8 so I don't say that lightly).

But leaving him to a predator would be? ffs

Because he knew his brother was performing sex acts on a child and didn't tell anyone!

Thanks SandLResources

Have felt a bit alone on this thread at times.

(I was also abused at a similar, slightly younger, age.)

I understand that. But the point is completely undermined by people saying he should have made a public statement earlier. He should have told the police earlier absolutely.

But you must agree that it is highly likely (almost to the point of certainty) that an age gap like this involves grooming behaviours and is therefore a safeguarding issue.

At 16 years old (maybe 17 by the time PS learnt of it?) the boy would still have been in full time education. If the parents were not the best people to approach then there were other ways to safeguard him.

The age of consent is 16, but under 16 year olds are still legally children. Grown ass adults can't just have sex with them in the same way they can with other adults, particularly where there is a huge age difference and/or power imbalance. The law does still recognise certain instances of adults having with sex with 16/17 year olds as grooming.

Abso fuckin lutely! It's the first thing I would do. As should Phillip Schofield - but he knows that.

You’re really not showing yourself well at all! That is so so grim

Thanks.
One of the worse bits was they told me not to ever tell anyone outside the family, as it might put my mum and my brother's teaching jobs at risk.

Oddly enough, after I reported historic abuse the police (he got arrested but then dropped due to lack of evidence) neither of them continued teaching, and his wife also left the profession.
He's a church choirmaster now.

Oh, and re shared trauma, I found out there were at least 3 generations of incestual abuse in my family. That doesn't make what happened any easier.

Disowned my sister for marrying my abuser. Easiest decision of my life.

It's easily done if it needs to be done.

Quite frankly couldn't care less if she or him died.

I'm not trying to present myself any particular way. Whatever assumptions or leaps of inference you are making about me are your business. All I've done is to say that I'm not sure (though it's never happened, so I don't know how I would act in real life) if I could bring myself to completely disown a sibling for a serious crime and think I would want to visit them occasionally in prison. I can see from the thread that not many mumsnetters hold this view. However, I don't think I'm completely alone because prison visit halls are usually pretty full.

What's hypocritical about someone saying they would 'disown' a family member who raped someone? Unless they too have done so, what hypocrisy are you pointing out?

In this case the sheer hypocrisy of this particular individual...but if you all want a thread to continue to comment on then I can't elaborate as experience has shown us that this would be pulled quicker than an underage runner.

Yes exactly - Tim Schofield obviously felt close enough to share this with his brother. Trusted him enough at least. Why would he otherwise.