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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you date a man who cross dressed?

576 replies

Supernova23 · 03/04/2023 09:06

Compatible in most ways but they admitted from the beginning they cross dressed. Would you?

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 03/04/2023 09:53

JulieHoney · 03/04/2023 09:30

Cross dresser - never in a million years

Gender non-conforming - absolutely. Beckham looked great in the sarong, Harry Styles is adorable, loved Adam Ant and the New Romantics in the 80s

This.
A gorgeous flamboyant dresser in a silk shirt ? Oh yes. A man who takes on womanhood as a costume ? No no no no no.

Celeriacsoup · 03/04/2023 09:54

And thinking about it, just the 'me me me' aspect of it would be very off-putting as I prefer a bloke who doesn't make too much of a fuss about their own appearance. All this eye brow shaping and man-scaping is a bit turn off as far as I am concerned.

Justcallmebebes · 03/04/2023 09:54

Hell no

Fraaahnces · 03/04/2023 09:54

I don’t think that Harry Styles IS gender non-conforming. He’s just wearing a costume to fit the contemporary social narrative and get likes. Also, he’s playing on being a recycled Mick Jagger. It’s tired, surely.

MakiSushi · 03/04/2023 09:55

I'd run - FAST!

Live and let live and all that - but it would 100% give me the ick.

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 03/04/2023 09:55

No.

Justmeandthedog1 · 03/04/2023 09:55

No. Yuk.
Had a friend come home unexpectedly, found her husband dressed in a nightie, full make up. It was the beginning of the end.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 03/04/2023 09:56

No. Call me old fashioned, but I’m straight so I like men I’m in a relationship with, to look like men.

Nimbostratus100 · 03/04/2023 09:56

I agree there is a huge difference in being gender non conforming and parodying womanhood

JaceLancs · 03/04/2023 09:56

Probably not but then it doesn’t take much to give me the ick - I’m far too fussy
I’ve been known to reject someone due to their awful footwear
A previous ex was into historical re enactment groups from various ages and I found that quite a turn on - but he was a good looking bloke whatever he wore

Celeriacsoup · 03/04/2023 09:57

big turn off

I feel that all of these answers, mine included, are a bit closed minded in some ways though. I mean thinking about it objectively, a bloke should be able to wear anything they like if a woman can? But I wouldn't like it if there was some sexual element to it.

CoinsinaJar · 03/04/2023 09:57

Absolutely not. A big no from me.

Lwsimoo · 03/04/2023 09:57

Interesting replies here considering most women "cross dress" in jeans, hoodies etc.

If you think a man dressing as a woman is demeaning to women, does that mean women's clothes are demeaning, therefore women are subpar in general?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/04/2023 09:57

Absolutely not and I would divorce DH if I found out he was cross dressing

daisychain01 · 03/04/2023 09:58

Some lazy journo harvesting your opinions, folks!

Thoughtful2355 · 03/04/2023 09:58

Personally no, no offence but i think its a mental illness. I think all that kind of stuff is.

caringcarer · 03/04/2023 09:58

No

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 03/04/2023 09:59

No.

Ostryga · 03/04/2023 09:59

Lwsimoo · 03/04/2023 09:57

Interesting replies here considering most women "cross dress" in jeans, hoodies etc.

If you think a man dressing as a woman is demeaning to women, does that mean women's clothes are demeaning, therefore women are subpar in general?

I don’t think anyone thinks it’s demeaning to wear a dress. It’s just that overwhelmingly when a man wears women’s clothes it isn’t to make a statement of strength or anything remotely helpful to women, it’s because it is good wank material.

Minfilia · 03/04/2023 09:59

Hell no.

my vagina would snap shut and grow teeth!

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 03/04/2023 09:59

daisychain01 · 03/04/2023 09:58

Some lazy journo harvesting your opinions, folks!

🤷‍♀️ Still No.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 03/04/2023 09:59

I wouldn't because I'm not keen on kink in my sex life. I find a lot of the role play, dress up, striptease, bondage, blah blah stuff really infantile and peculiar and off-putting, and this is just another example.

This is not to say I have an issue with guyliner, frilly shirts, sarongs/kilts or a New Romantics vibe. At all. Personal style is one thing, performative kink is another.

'Cross-dressing' is not a clear-cut term but to me it implies 'play-acting' - so dressing up 'as a woman', which can only ever mean a man's idea of a stereotypical woman (as these chaps never want to dress up as a woman who's wearing jeans and a hoodie, or scrubs, or pyjamas, or a trouser suit, or loungewear. Like most women, basically. It's always mini-skirts, stillettoes, lingerie and lipstick look. It's a stereotype, and it's sexual. Which would both be a big turn off for me.

Moreover, my though would be - he's been 'upfront' about this right from the off. Which means he wants you to know. Which, I imagine, means he's going to want to involve you at some point. Moreover, he's told you this right from the off, which, call me suspicious, would suggest to me he's warming you up with this for eventual more extreme kink revelations down the line. So if this is making you a bit unsure, I'd expect things to be escalated later on which you may be even less comfortable with.

donquixotedelamancha · 03/04/2023 10:01

Pinksorrel · 03/04/2023 09:23

Depends why.

If DH wanted to wear a dull coloured midi skirt on a hot summer's day because it was nice and cool, I'd be fine with that.

If he was doing it for attention, or any kind of fetish, or because he had some misguided notion that he actually was a woman, then NO! Massive issue.

This. I think there is a world of difference between being openly gender non-conforming and having a hidden kink.

The latter suggests some serious unresolved issues about the opposite sex.

housemaus · 03/04/2023 10:01

Yeah. Wouldn't be an issue.

Cherrysoup · 03/04/2023 10:01

God, no. I’d run a mile. Very unattractive to me.

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