Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Telling ex we have Covid

131 replies

midnightblue12 · 02/04/2023 22:31

So basically I have Covid and I just messaged my ex husband making him aware as we share children. He works in a children's home and is due to have children in 2 days when they will most likely have it.
Anyway I thought out of courtesy I'd text him incase he needs to swap childcare etc and he's made me feel about 1mm tall.

He has told me it means nothing, it's just a cold etc. Really made me feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Basically how he always makes me feel.

I really wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it. Like the majority I'm just over talking about Covid.

Would you have text in my situation or am I being dramatic? 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
TomatoFrog · 02/04/2023 22:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

midnightblue12 · 02/04/2023 22:32

I guess I just feel embarrassed now. But isn't that crazy? I feel bad when I was just being thoughtful and offering to swap childcare to help him 😵‍💫

Crazy how different people are!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 02/04/2023 22:33

You did the right thing. Particularly given where he works. You've made him aware and he can make his own decision what to do. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.

AFloridian · 02/04/2023 22:33

I’d have mentioned it as well op, especially given where he works. It would be shitty not to and to just hand the DC over infectious without giving him the heads up and the option.

neilyoungismyhero · 02/04/2023 22:34

No matter anyone's views about Covid/flu it's just common courtesy to advise someone in that situation about it. If I was told someone had mumps/measles/a cold even I would stay away.
Of course you're not in the wrong, he's a tit.

Redglitter · 02/04/2023 22:34

I think you did the right thing. You're aware you have a contagious illness so you've let him know, presumably same as if you had D&V. If he's not bothered thats fair enough but at least you let him know

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2023 22:35

You told him. He is happy enough to have the kids. I wouldn't waste any more thought about it

Norriscolesbag · 02/04/2023 22:35

Clearly bad blood and he’s picking a fight over nothing. Just ignore it.

AndTheListGoesOn · 02/04/2023 22:36

TidyDancer · 02/04/2023 22:33

You did the right thing. Particularly given where he works. You've made him aware and he can make his own decision what to do. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.

I agree. You did the right thing OP. What he chooses to do (or not do) with that information is up to him but you've done you're bit in making him aware. He sounds like an arse, you're well rid!

Wintersgirl · 02/04/2023 22:37

I probably would have done the same OP, there was no need for his reaction though, he could have just said thanks for letting me know, from what you've said, it sounds like he's the one over reacting not you. I bet you're glad he's an ex!

Lockeddownagain · 02/04/2023 22:37

My work still have a 5 day paid exclusion period so I don't think you were being werid

Tinysoxx · 02/04/2023 22:38

Did the right thing x

MoreSleepPleasee · 02/04/2023 22:38

Lockeddownagain · 02/04/2023 22:37

My work still have a 5 day paid exclusion period so I don't think you were being werid

Mines still doing 10 days! Yanbu op he sounds awful.

Wintersgirl · 02/04/2023 22:39

TidyDancer · 02/04/2023 22:33

You did the right thing. Particularly given where he works. You've made him aware and he can make his own decision what to do. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Yeah and no doubt he would have had a right go at the OP if she hadn't mentioned it! You really can win with some people.

Netcam · 02/04/2023 22:39

I think you did the right thing. My ex just had Covid, didn't tell me or our teens we share, they came back to my house, tested positive the next day and have been really ill. Now my DH has symptoms. I haven't had it yet, but will probably get it. We are supposed to be going on holiday over Easter. None of us, including the teens, the ex, myself or my DH had ever tested positive before. Considering government guidelines are to stay away from other people if possible, at least if you tell people they can choose how to manage it.

suzyscat · 02/04/2023 22:40

Don't feel small, feel magnificent that this is your ex and not current.
You did the polite thing.

GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 02/04/2023 22:40

Definitely did the right thing. It’s just common courtesy, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. As PP said, I’d probably do the same for any illness, even a cold, just as a heads up. And especially if the other person worked with kids.

Normandy144 · 02/04/2023 22:40

I didn't think people were still testing so I think it's a bit strange to have tested but I guess once you had the information you did what seems right. It just wouldn't even have occurred to me to take a test in the first place.

midnightblue12 · 02/04/2023 22:41

Thank you all!

Whether he or others think I'm wrong or dramatic I really am just a thoughtful person and that's all there is to it. Me sending 1 text is barely bothering his day is it!
But yes I'll just leave it at that! Done my part!

OP posts:
midnightblue12 · 02/04/2023 22:42

Normandy144 · 02/04/2023 22:40

I didn't think people were still testing so I think it's a bit strange to have tested but I guess once you had the information you did what seems right. It just wouldn't even have occurred to me to take a test in the first place.

I actually didn't test. But I've been really unwell all weekend having spent the week with a family member who is elderly. She's just tested which was positive. I've never had Covid before so out of curiosity I tested myself too.

But yes I guess I wouldn't normally tested myself either! (Unless someone asked me to for their own well-being).

OP posts:
GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 02/04/2023 22:43

Normandy144 · 02/04/2023 22:40

I didn't think people were still testing so I think it's a bit strange to have tested but I guess once you had the information you did what seems right. It just wouldn't even have occurred to me to take a test in the first place.

We had it before Christmas and checked because my FIL was terminally ill and on end of life care. In fairness, we still stayed away anyway and probably didn’t do anything different but it meant that when my BIL and his family started with the sniffles, they stayed away too, just in case.

ThinWomansBrain · 02/04/2023 22:43

just be thankful he's an ex - reasons to be cheerful...

hope you feel better soon

PatchworkElmer · 02/04/2023 22:43

You did the right thing. I’m sure if you hadn’t told him and just dumped 2 kids with covid on him, he would’ve moaned about that too.

Ktime · 02/04/2023 22:43

I also think you did the right thing.

If you didn’t tell him and he found out, he’d have moaned that you didn’t tell him.

Just be glad he’s an ex.

fruitbrewhaha · 02/04/2023 22:45

What a dick. The correct response was, ok thanks for letting me know.