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Original poster

Telling ex we have Covid

131 replies

midnightblue12 · 02/04/2023 22:31

So basically I have Covid and I just messaged my ex husband making him aware as we share children. He works in a children's home and is due to have children in 2 days when they will most likely have it.
Anyway I thought out of courtesy I'd text him incase he needs to swap childcare etc and he's made me feel about 1mm tall.

He has told me it means nothing, it's just a cold etc. Really made me feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Basically how he always makes me feel.

I really wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it. Like the majority I'm just over talking about Covid.

Would you have text in my situation or am I being dramatic? 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 02/04/2023 22:47

Can you turn it around and write something like 'ah great that you are fine with it. I was just concerned about your work. Means I can have a rest and recover. Cheers.'

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 02/04/2023 22:47

I work in a childcare setting and you did the right thing. Oh well, if he catches it he’s been warned 🤷🏼‍♀️

Nimbostratus100 · 02/04/2023 22:51

of course you did the right thing x

Spiderboy · 02/04/2023 22:52

You were right to text. Kw you know his view point going forward. He is a dick for having an attitude

Babysharkdoodoodood · 02/04/2023 23:21

Normandy144 · 02/04/2023 22:40

I didn't think people were still testing so I think it's a bit strange to have tested but I guess once you had the information you did what seems right. It just wouldn't even have occurred to me to take a test in the first place.

I'm still testing. I felt dreadful last month and I was positive. I was fine about going into work, even though I felt a bit shit but my boss told me to stay home as his parents are vulnerable.

Same on Thursday but negative. We have stacks of tests at work still so we might as well use them before the bb date.

Vodkaislethal · 02/04/2023 23:27

I’m guessing there is a back story? Why are you trying to be so nice to him, offering up change in child care when he’s not even asked and the kids don’t even have it?. Is there still lingering feelings your side? Past that a simple, I’ve covid, kids don’t yet, but might do, let me know if any issues, would have sufficed?

ReliantRobyn · 02/04/2023 23:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Idiot.

PippaF2 · 02/04/2023 23:31

He's the one being over dramatic - whether it's covid, flu, tonsillitis, a heavy cold - it's just considerate to others to not pass it along.

If he would have reacted differently to you swapping out the word covid for ill - then he's the one with the covid issue.

Ponderingwindow · 02/04/2023 23:31

You did the right thing

you are lucky he is an ex.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he is violating his work policies by ignoring your warning.

ifeelimgoingmad · 02/04/2023 23:32

I assume incase the kids carry it to his house and put the children he works with at risk of he catches it?

Icanflyhigh · 02/04/2023 23:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I disagree - its common courtesy. I had it 2 weeks ago and it hit me a lot harder this time around.
ExH lives with ExMIL who is not in good health anyway and out of courtesy I let them know we had it in the house again.

It didn't change anything, but at least we were being open and upfront and exMIL could make an informed decision about having the kids to stay knowing she might be at risk.

The worst thing for me would be if I didn't say anything and kids took germs there and exMIL got it and was seriously unwell, and they later found I knew we had it and didn't say anything.

Yes, to most folk now it is JUST a cold, but to someone with an underlying condition it can still be fatal.

greenlychee · 02/04/2023 23:44

you did the right thing!! he is the out of order one.

MajorCarolDanvers · 02/04/2023 23:45

It's polite to let people know when you have something contagious.

I'm a also ok if people aren't bothered by it.

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 03/04/2023 00:08

Well, I think by now most people are well over covid and really couldn’t give two cents. I don’t test. I work in a school. I could actually test and get time off, paid…but I don’t. I’m not interested at all, so I think his reaction was probably the same as most people’s would be…ie, surprise that you still concerned about covid.

I’d forget it now and don’t worry about having it or passing it on. We’re long past that.

Tinkerbyebye · 03/04/2023 00:11

Normandy144 · 02/04/2023 22:40

I didn't think people were still testing so I think it's a bit strange to have tested but I guess once you had the information you did what seems right. It just wouldn't even have occurred to me to take a test in the first place.

Lots still do where they have relatives where it would be dangerous to catch it. I have a family member who has just been sent free tests by the Government/nhs whoever because of their situation

in addition why wouldn’t you? It’s still rife in places and who actually wants to be ill? I have had covid, I don’t want it again thanks

sleepwouldbenice · 03/04/2023 00:20

Iwannabeacrocodilehunter · 03/04/2023 00:08

Well, I think by now most people are well over covid and really couldn’t give two cents. I don’t test. I work in a school. I could actually test and get time off, paid…but I don’t. I’m not interested at all, so I think his reaction was probably the same as most people’s would be…ie, surprise that you still concerned about covid.

I’d forget it now and don’t worry about having it or passing it on. We’re long past that.

Not most people on this thread it seems

sleepwouldbenice · 03/04/2023 00:21

"Really made me feel like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Basically how he always makes me feel."

This gives you your answer doesn't it OPGrin

SD1978 · 03/04/2023 00:36

Of course you did the right thing. You didn't say you won't be seeing them, but that you have covid and left him to make a choice. There is no reason to be a sick because he's happy to have them when sick.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 03/04/2023 00:37

If you have any illness I think its just common curtesy in this sort of situation to let people know. You did what I would have done, he’s a twat. Also in some lines of work covid is still a thing, we are still made to test if we are unwell and take off a minimum of 5 days and have a negative test result on 2 consecutive days before being allowed back in.

YankeeDad · 03/04/2023 00:46

Your telling him was considerate not only for him, but also for the children he will care for - and their families.

His response was to be a dick. It sounds as though there is a good reason why he is an ex. I hope you will not change your behaviour in response to his dickishness.

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 00:47

I would have eye rolled if you told me. No one cares anymore

Elieza · 03/04/2023 01:55

You did the right thing.

However judging by his response, be prepared for him to have it, infect everyone around him, and not give a flying f about it or bother his arse to make a courtesy call to you so you know the kids are coming back potentially with it….!

Hes ignorant. But that’s prob why he’s your ex.

Hope your symptoms stay mild and you feel better soon.

DinosApple · 03/04/2023 03:37

You did the right thing given where he works.

I have Covid at the moment and I feel rubbish. I tested because my parents are meant to be coming.

People are definitely still testing if they have a need to, for example working within healthcare, seeing elderly relations or friends or family having cancer treatment.

snitzelvoncrumb · 03/04/2023 03:39

You did the right thing. At least you know not to bother telling him next time.

Mumma · 03/04/2023 04:14

You made him aware so he could consider the risks. Hes considered them and is happy to carry on as normal... non issue.

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